I can't give up hope...

[manormachine]

It's hard for me to move on when there's no animosity between us. I love her and until she tells me otherwise, I believe she still loves me. According to her, she's too busy right now, and she is extremely busy. But she won't always be this busy and I want to be with her when she has her life settled. I mean she did tell me when she broke up with me that we could always be together in the future, but it's hard to tell if that was just letting me down easy.

 

I haven't talked to her in about 3 weeks, and I don't know what to do with myself. I was hoping she'd reach out to me by now, but I know she needs the space. I mean part of the reason of us breaking up was me pushing her to talk to me more and spend more time with me. I can't just say screw this and move on because I feel so strongly about her and I think that it could work.

 

We have a mutual friend who I've confided in who said she'd talk to my ex and try to feel out if she still has feelings for me and would be willing to give it another shot. I don't know if that's playing a game or being manipulative or anything (i don't like playing games) but I think it's the best thing to do because I've already tried getting answers from my ex but she wouldn't tell me how she feels.

 

I know I won't be able to move on without trying my hardest to make it work. I care too much about her to just let it go.

[rach24680]

Let her go man. She obviously doesn't think so highly of you to not even give you any straight answers about if she sees a future or if she even loves you? She's probably only saying that so if she doesn't find someone better she's always got you to fall back on because she knows you're at her beck and call.

If she comes back and you still want her, great, but you then have to make her prove that she's worthy of you!

Until then..... keep NC, don't underestimate what it does, not only for the other person to make them see any mistakes they have made ending the relationship. But also for the wounded to heal, maybe you feel like you don't want to heal right now but maybe in a weeks time you'l feel a little different and you'll be glad she's not called.

Good luck whatever happens!

[lovehurts82]

I agree with rach24680. You need to let her go. It sounds like perhaps she was trying to either let you down easy, or string you along in case something else she's pursuing doesn't work out in her favor. If you want to get her back, then leave her alone. Let her /have/ her space and time. Maybe she'll come back around.. maybe she won't. But if she's asked for space, give it to her.. with the understanding that you can't have contact with her right now. If she cares for you at all, she'll understand that each phone call, text, voicemail, e-mail, or whatever is like smearing salt into already opened wounds.

 

Quite honestly, though, I would challenge you to look at your relationship and your situation a bit before you would ever consider getting back with this girl. Obviously, if she can't give you a straight answer and can only say she's needing space, there's something wrong in the relationship. For instance.. my fiance's father (we'd been together off and on the better part of 7 years) was in a horrible accident and he flew back home to take care of everything (we'd been long distance). He didn't want me there. He said he needed time and space to deal with everything that was going on in his life. Odd that if someone loves you and wants to spend their life with you, you wouldn't want their comfort in a time like that. We ended up breaking up, only for him to be engaged to another girl a week later (just so happened I had caught her rubbing his hand in the backseat of the car as I sat next to him just 2 weeks earlier, but he swore to me it wasn't because of "anyone else").

 

Also, from what you said of part of the reason you broke up was that you were pushing her to talk to you more and more, perhaps she was feeling suffocated and continuing to chase after her is only going to drive her to run further. Right now, you're standing in your own way of healing the hurt you're feeling by insisting that you won't ever find anyone like her.. that you can't move on because you feel so strongly that it could work. Relationships can't be one sided and if she doesn't feel the same way or /want/ for things to work, you're wasting your time and energy and causing yourself a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering. Good luck and best wishes! Keep your head up! You CAN do this.

[manormachine]

I'm sorry about your situation lovehurts82. I can't fathom how someone could move on to a new relationship so quickly, and get engaged after just a week?!!? He's a liar and a douche and they obviously had something going on for a while, but I doubt it will last. I've been in a couple relationships before where I have been cheated on, and despite the initial shock and heartache, I was able to get over those girls pretty easily because I knew they couldn't be trusted and they hurt me really bad. Granted those relationships were nowhere near 7 years, but the point is I was able to move on faster because I knew those girls were no good for me.

 

I'm not exactly here for advice because in the end we all make our own choices and I doubt a stranger will be able to sway me one way or another (Unless I happen to get on here one night when im drunk and ask if i should call my ex. In which case, I hope you all tell me NO!) But I do appreciate the support this community gives each other, and it's nice knowing I'm not the only one going through this.

 

Anyway, my days are getting slightly better. There's still times where it hits me like a ton of bricks, but it's not as often as it was the first few weeks. I still have hope, but I'm going to try to make an effort to at least improve myself instead of just sitting around moping like I have been doing. I don't want to be in the same place if she does come back because she's moving forward in her life and I should be too (I do wish we could do that together but...yeah)