Met Someone

[johan]

Fascinating turn of phrase. Hurdles? Nope. But he was consistent so my alarms didn't go off.

 

But I was asking about his alarms. You've never given him a reason to raise his eyebrows a little bit?

 

No, it's my turn damn it

 

Of course it is, ES. I was just addressing the guy contingent.

 

I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way, but I often wonder what man or human can measure up to TBF's standards....

 

I can. She does want a human though. She's more forgiving than she indicates.

[threebyfate]

I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way, but I often wonder what man or human can measure up to TBF's standards....

Huh? I measure by patterns of behaviour and don't flip out over incidentals. Can you provide to me what's been unreasonable about my expectations? They're pretty average requirements. The difference might be that I look for consistency of actions, so for the inconsistent, an impossible meet?

 

But I was asking about his alarms. You've never given him a reason to raise his eyebrows a little bit?

He was concerned about the timeline for having children but that was post agreeing to the timeline in the first place. Not seeing this as much my issue beyond desiring consistency of words to actions. He did back down since he knew he was being inconsistent. As it turned out, mother nature took care of this issue eventually.

 

Should add also, my determination for independence and equity of 50/50, as manifested during Bump's pregnancy and that we split finances equally. This was my issue to own and one that I found a way to ensure both our needs were met by funding a joint account. This way, his insecurities were met through being the provider and my independence insecurities were met through the joint account.

 

I can. She does want a human though. She's more forgiving than she indicates.

Hush, you're spoiling my image! But yes, you would know. Edited August 28, 2012 by threebyfate

[BehindBlueEyes]

Eric, thanks. We'll see about me, but it's your turn. Or maybe Somedude, then you.

 

 

I don't know, scares me, but thanks nonetheless.

[johan]

We got through my little insecurity storm with no issues. It has passed and hopefully there won't be another. She is a good part of the reason why those feelings went away, because she was understanding when I had things to get off my chest. And the things I felt uneasy about were just not problems in her eyes. I also was reminded how important it is to keep those things in the background for a while, until you can rationalize whether there is really a problem. So far, not.

 

Now I just get consistently great vibes. We both keep wanting more. No boredom. No craziness. Just growth.

 

She's a quality person. I see how she treats her family and friends. She's loyal and caring and makes time for them. There is no dysfunction in those relationships. She's confident and polite with strangers. She's hasn't been moody or impatient even once with me. She's consistent. She makes a point to do what she says, and doesn't take making even simple promises lightly. She works really hard and feels insecure in her job despite the fact she's being recognized more and more as a valued performer. She goes to church every week. With me she has been so sweet and caring and generous. Her smile is almost constant when we talk. And the physical attraction between us is equal and constant.

 

This probably sounds like I must think she's perfect because I'm infatuated and not seeing things so clearly. Maybe there is a bit of that. But I've been there before. You know when there are things you really shouldn't be overlooking. And I really can't think of anything. It's not like I've seen her scream expletives at a waiter, or throw a little tantrum when I have to go to sleep instead of talk to her. She never says bad things about friends or family behind their backs (although there are some co-workers she has no respect for). She isn't neglecting her responsibilities or interests just to make more time for me. I really haven't observed anything that I know I'll start to resent later.

 

I'm not sure whether she is overlooking things about me. I can think of things that she might be pushing to the back of her mind, hoping they won't turn into real problems. I just have to trust that she'll deal with those things in the right way.

 

But yeah, 4 weeks is still a short time. I think in a few months we will realize that it's been long enough that we can now consider it real, and then who knows what we'll do.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I don't think it's even possible to understand any patterns of behavior yet. You are just getting to know each other. And I think you are young-ish, so that relationship patterns do not need to be deeply ingrained at all. Healthy people are living and learning, not stuck in repeating.

 

It's a fine line to walk … learning, having your eyes open, enjoying all the good without being willfully blinded while at the same time, acknowledging the "not perfect" without overreacting to it.

[johan]

I don't think it's even possible to understand any patterns of behavior yet. You are just getting to know each other. And I think you are young-ish, so that relationship patterns do not need to be deeply ingrained at all. Healthy people are living and learning, not stuck in repeating.

 

It's a fine line to walk … learning, having your eyes open, enjoying all the good without being willfully blinded while at the same time, acknowledging the "not perfect" without overreacting to it.

 

I'm not sure. It's true there is still a lot to learn. But on the other hand, you can tell a lot about a person early on. I'd like to think I have my eyes open, but I guess we won't know for a while whether what I'm saying about her is true or just my fantasy. Like I said, I know when I'm putting red flags on the shelf for later, because I've done that and I've seen people do it. I haven't found any yet, and I think that's a good sign.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I'm not sure. It's true there is still a lot to learn. But on the other hand, you can tell a lot about a person early on. I'd like to think I have my eyes open, but I guess we won't know for a while whether what I'm saying about her is true or just my fantasy. Like I said, I know when I'm putting red flags on the shelf for later, because I've done that and I've seen people do it. I haven't found any yet, and I think that's a good sign.

 

From my experience, there are plenty of things people can do early on, to discount them as a good partner material. Still, only time will be a true test. Absence of red flags now is a very good sign

[Els]

I feel the need to chime in here, because I see a lot of mention on LS about looking for 'red flags' early on in a relationship. I honestly think many people launch far too early based on simple possibilities and hunches. Yes, when a relationship ends, you look back and say 'I should have seen all those red flags!', but hindsight is always 20/20. Everything can be a potential red flag if you want it to be - I cannot think of ANYone on LS who would withstand a close scrutiny of them without turning up any. But how do you know the false positives from the genuine red flags?

 

The answer is... you don't. All relationship issues will be revealed quite clearly with time. My opinion is, if you feel this person is someone special, someone who is worth it - wait and see. If the red flags genuinely make themselves out to be red flags worthy of a launch, you WILL know it sooner or later. And what do you have to lose? Time? IMO, people waste far more time doing premature launches based on 100-liner checklists and going through one relationship after another after another after another... than sticking it through and giving each one a real chance.

 

Honestly, there were 'possible red flags' in the beginning of my current relationship, solely based on my bf's family and relationship history. It has been 4.5 years now, and how many of them turned into ACTUAL issues? None. Zero. Zilch. We do actually have issues that are still a work in progress (and any couple who says that they have never had any are either lying or in denial or in the honeymoon phase), but all of them came up as the relationship progressed naturally, mostly after the honeymoon phase disappeared at Year 2, and were completely unrelated to the postulated 'potential red flags' that I was searching for early on. Now, with a little more experience under my belt, I understand that the early part of a R is far too early to foresee any of that. IMO, the only criteria one should be focusing on this early on is: 1) Am I attracted to this person?, and 2) Do I feel happy when I am with this person?

Edited September 1, 2012 by Elswyth

[Mrlonelyone]

Elswyth

 

So very true. How many of us either dumped or been dumped due to perceived red flags? Ones which were infact not a big deal at all.

[eleanorhurting]

I feel the need to chime in here, because I see a lot of mention on LS about looking for 'red flags' early on in a relationship. I honestly think many people launch far too early based on simple possibilities and hunches. Yes, when a relationship ends, you look back and say 'I should have seen all those red flags!', but hindsight is always 20/20. Everything can be a potential red flag if you want it to be - I cannot think of ANYone on LS who would withstand a close scrutiny of them without turning up any. But how do you know the false positives from the genuine red flags?

 

The answer is... you don't. All relationship issues will be revealed quite clearly with time. My opinion is, if you feel this person is someone special, someone who is worth it - wait and see. If the red flags genuinely make themselves out to be red flags worthy of a launch, you WILL know it sooner or later. And what do you have to lose? Time? IMO, people waste far more time doing premature launches based on 100-liner checklists and going through one relationship after another after another after another... than sticking it through and giving each one a real chance.

 

Honestly, there were 'possible red flags' in the beginning of my current relationship, solely based on my bf's family and relationship history. It has been 4.5 years now, and how many of them turned into ACTUAL issues? None. Zero. Zilch. We do actually have issues that are still a work in progress (and any couple who says that they have never had any are either lying or in denial or in the honeymoon phase), but all of them came up as the relationship progressed naturally, mostly after the honeymoon phase disappeared at Year 2, and were completely unrelated to the postulated 'potential red flags' that I was searching for early on. Now, with a little more experience under my belt, I understand that the early part of a R is far too early to foresee any of that. IMO, the only criteria one should be focusing on this early on is: 1) Am I attracted to this person?, and 2) Do I feel happy when I am with this person?

 

This is why I don't particularly enjoy "dating" and the relationships I have had have most grown out of a previous friendship. I am sure that I shoot up so many red flags that only people who have already taken the time to get to know me first are able to look past them.

[Ninjainpajamas]

I feel the need to chime in here, because I see a lot of mention on LS about looking for 'red flags' early on in a relationship. I honestly think many people launch far too early based on simple possibilities and hunches. Yes, when a relationship ends, you look back and say 'I should have seen all those red flags!', but hindsight is always 20/20. Everything can be a potential red flag if you want it to be - I cannot think of ANYone on LS who would withstand a close scrutiny of them without turning up any. But how do you know the false positives from the genuine red flags?

 

The answer is... you don't. All relationship issues will be revealed quite clearly with time. My opinion is, if you feel this person is someone special, someone who is worth it - wait and see. If the red flags genuinely make themselves out to be red flags worthy of a launch, you WILL know it sooner or later. And what do you have to lose? Time? IMO, people waste far more time doing premature launches based on 100-liner checklists and going through one relationship after another after another after another... than sticking it through and giving each one a real chance.

 

Honestly, there were 'possible red flags' in the beginning of my current relationship, solely based on my bf's family and relationship history. It has been 4.5 years now, and how many of them turned into ACTUAL issues? None. Zero. Zilch. We do actually have issues that are still a work in progress (and any couple who says that they have never had any are either lying or in denial or in the honeymoon phase), but all of them came up as the relationship progressed naturally, mostly after the honeymoon phase disappeared at Year 2, and were completely unrelated to the postulated 'potential red flags' that I was searching for early on. Now, with a little more experience under my belt, I understand that the early part of a R is far too early to foresee any of that. IMO, the only criteria one should be focusing on this early on is: 1) Am I attracted to this person?, and 2) Do I feel happy when I am with this person?

 

For the sake of discussion I'll have to wholeheartedly agree with this statement...at least in the context it's being placed in.

 

It is true that it takes time to develop a relationship to fully understand and expose the real "relationship issues" or I like to say in a healthy relationship..."obstacles" that all relationships face. However this needs to be done within reason, I see faaaaaar too many people taking chances with people they don't belong anywhere in the realm of trying to have a relationship with, just judging between these two requirements.

1) Am I attracted to this person?, and 2) Do I feel happy when I am with this person?

 

I've seen people engage in relationships that had red flags in it that were like a giant red beacon in the middle of a black sea because they convinced themselves to the above...attraction being a requirement? really?. Do I feel happy? how many people would deny that in a relationship they wanted to stay in regardless of whether It was horrible or not...when a person is supposedly "in love" with another person they can't realistically gauge happiness or how they feel in every situation because they always think of the good moments..that's what people to, they validate their rationalizing in the fact that the positive moments outweigh the negative....no matter how far and few in between.

 

Furthermore you'll notice that in particular women who feel their relationship are "successful" to an extent, tend to become preachy and hold It up as an example and now basing their judgment and advice based almost exclusively based off that information. The problem here Is I notice that in a lot of these relationships the woman is blind to apparent issues that others evaluating it on the outside may not disagree on whatsoever.

 

I've seen far too many relationships "surprise" end because one person was completely disconnected and just going to the grind until they saw the right opportunity to give them enough reason to leave. Then the person who is being left is blind-sided and surprised that this otherwise "perfect" relationship had real issues...which is why communication is so profoundly important.

 

The reason you recognize the issues in the past and the issues of your past partners is not because you couldn't detect any of these things before, It's that your blinders are off and now you are more aware and defensive about ending back up in the same situation with the same exact kind of person....which you'll see many react by trying to find a new and different "type" of individual using the same bad judgment. Because although lessons were learned it does not mean that in the face of emotions those you'll have any more clarity.

 

Furthermore there are men who specialize in making women feel "special"...It's part of their theatrics and "game" to create this kind of too good to be true world filled with all the things they know what buttons to push and when. So If you're a woman asking yourself If this feels "special" enough to take a chance with? what do you think your answer is going to be? Do you expect that to last and be the beginning and the end?...I'm sure many women and likely men have realized when that party leaves...It's rather abrupt and the high was as great as the fall.

 

Additionally...you know what you have to lose to "waiting and see what happens?"...that you'll find out anyway at some point in the relationship...well by that time it might be too late...by that time the bus is honking but since you decided to wait until it hits you in the face then I guess why not! what do you have to lose!...Just a little bit of your time, emotions, and heart...but that's no big deal right!

 

Have a 100 things on your check list is ridiculous...but not looking for what you consider strong and crucial values for a relationship that you require and need then you're just taking a chance...and just because you end up in a marriage or long-term relationship doesn't mean you got it right and figured it all out....it doesn't mean you did anything right...what happens to those people when that relationship ends? Are they using their relationship as an example or are they singing a different tune?...don't seek others who use their relationships as an example of how you should live your love life...what works for them may not work for you, what their criteria is might be much less or greater than yours...what matters is what is important to you and finding someone who is compatible and meets the requirements or what you seek and desire in a loving relationship, someone you see that has that capability and potential with...because not all love stories have a good ending, and If you base your judgment off that then you need to realize you looking from the outside gives you a far less understanding than you'll ever know...the only two people who really understand that dynamic is the two people in it...and that is not meant to be duplicated.

 

Sorry for the long post on your thread here Johan...I'm not seeking to fight or battle it out I just feel in my opinion a lot of advice although well intended can be very misleading in your own personal romance If taken to heart and duplicated.

 

Johan...use the force! trust your own instincts, don't over-think, be like the karate kid and put the blind fold on and just feel your way through it.

 

Judging from your last post you are recognizing the positive things or at least the things I'd be looking for...maybe because we have similar values. But regardless they seem important to you and you're looking beyond the surface level and see not only what values she has but how she is handling the relationship dynamic with you...which I'm sure her independence is quite a plus for you.

 

You do seem to be nit-picking and trying to find any potential problems...just remember you don't have to try and analyze so hard to the point where you're trying to predict the future. Just continue to open up and communicate and ask her to do the same, keep digging deeper emotionally to who you both really are as people, and what makes each other tick. Strive to understand this woman on an emotional depth that she might not be used to and one that may feel extremely vulnerable and insecure yourself. You'll know when and If you have to pull back the reigns.

 

If she's being transparent and open with you and trustworthy you don't have to be on edge or even think about it, just step back every now and then when you reflect on your relationship and gauge where you feel comfortable and where she does. Take it slow If you feel a bit overwhelmed and make sure to express your fears and concerns with her so she can understand you, don't let them manifest into actions that give her a confused and unclear point of view. Don't let your insecurities grow into something because you feel like you have to deal with them on your own, you have to be able to trust her and bond with her in that way...give her a chance to be there for you and support you.

[runner]

I feel the need to chime in here, because I see a lot of mention on LS about looking for 'red flags' early on in a relationship. I honestly think many people launch far too early based on simple possibilities and hunches. Yes, when a relationship ends, you look back and say 'I should have seen all those red flags!', but hindsight is always 20/20. Everything can be a potential red flag if you want it to be - I cannot think of ANYone on LS who would withstand a close scrutiny of them without turning up any. But how do you know the false positives from the genuine red flags?

 

The answer is... you don't. All relationship issues will be revealed quite clearly with time. My opinion is, if you feel this person is someone special, someone who is worth it - wait and see. If the red flags genuinely make themselves out to be red flags worthy of a launch, you WILL know it sooner or later. And what do you have to lose? Time? IMO, people waste far more time doing premature launches based on 100-liner checklists and going through one relationship after another after another after another... than sticking it through and giving each one a real chance.

 

Honestly, there were 'possible red flags' in the beginning of my current relationship, solely based on my bf's family and relationship history. It has been 4.5 years now, and how many of them turned into ACTUAL issues? None. Zero. Zilch. We do actually have issues that are still a work in progress (and any couple who says that they have never had any are either lying or in denial or in the honeymoon phase), but all of them came up as the relationship progressed naturally, mostly after the honeymoon phase disappeared at Year 2, and were completely unrelated to the postulated 'potential red flags' that I was searching for early on. Now, with a little more experience under my belt, I understand that the early part of a R is far too early to foresee any of that. IMO, the only criteria one should be focusing on this early on is: 1) Am I attracted to this person?, and 2) Do I feel happy when I am with this person?

 

quoted for truth (and a bump )

 

the above, along with tbf's point on 'consistency', are powerful points to keep in mind in those whirlwind early days.

 

/best

[Els]

Elswyth

 

So very true. How many of us either dumped or been dumped due to perceived red flags? Ones which were infact not a big deal at all.

 

I'm sorry if it has happened to you. I hope one day you'll find a woman (or man? Sorry, I haven't been keeping up with your history ) who will be happy to take the time to get to know you for you, rather than judging you based on your history and externals.

 

This is why I don't particularly enjoy "dating" and the relationships I have had have most grown out of a previous friendship.

 

Exactly! I do the same, myself

 

quoted for truth (and a bump )

 

the above, along with tbf's point on 'consistency', are powerful points to keep in mind in those whirlwind early days.

 

/best

 

Thank you.

[Els]

Frankly, NiP, I'm not exactly sure what your point is. You seem to vacillate from this:

 

For the sake of discussion I'll have to wholeheartedly agree with this statement...at least in the context it's being placed in.

 

To completely disagreeing with it:

 

I've seen people engage in relationships that had red flags in it that were like a giant red beacon in the middle of a black sea because they convinced themselves to the above...attraction being a requirement? really?. Do I feel happy? how many people would deny that in a relationship they wanted to stay in regardless of whether It was horrible or not...when a person is supposedly "in love" with another person they can't realistically gauge happiness or how they feel in every situation because they always think of the good moments..that's what people to, they validate their rationalizing in the fact that the positive moments outweigh the negative....no matter how far and few in between.

 

It may be true that the person is rationalizing, and is not really happy. But that is not so much the fault of the concept - rather, the person needs to learn how to make an honest assessment of his/her happiness. It is possible, and there have been people who have left relationships in which they were still in love, because of that honest assessment. They knew that there was something irreparably wrong with the relationship or that it just wasn't for them.

 

Furthermore you'll notice that in particular women who feel their relationship are "successful" to an extent, tend to become preachy and hold It up as an example and now basing their judgment and advice based almost exclusively based off that information. The problem here Is I notice that in a lot of these relationships the woman is blind to apparent issues that others evaluating it on the outside may not disagree on whatsoever.

 

And now you vacillate to some unrelated jab at... who? What does this have to do at all with johan's thread? Are 'women who feel their relationship is successful' not qualified, or not as qualified to give advice as you are? We all come from different backgrounds and relationship histories, and that is the point of an open forum - to obtain several different perspectives. There is little purpose to discrediting advice that comes from a different perspective from your own, and advice based on personal experience is every bit as meritorious as that given from external observation sans experience.

 

As for 'apparent issues that others evaluating it on the outside may not disagree on whatsoever' - I'm not sure where you're going with that either. A relationship is between two people, and if they are both genuinely happy with it, it does not matter what 'others evaluating it on the outside' think.

 

 

Furthermore there are men who specialize in making women feel "special"...It's part of their theatrics and "game" to create this kind of too good to be true world filled with all the things they know what buttons to push and when. So If you're a woman asking yourself If this feels "special" enough to take a chance with? what do you think your answer is going to be? Do you expect that to last and be the beginning and the end?...I'm sure many women and likely men have realized when that party leaves...It's rather abrupt and the high was as great as the fall.

 

Additionally...you know what you have to lose to "waiting and see what happens?"...that you'll find out anyway at some point in the relationship...well by that time it might be too late...by that time the bus is honking but since you decided to wait until it hits you in the face then I guess why not! what do you have to lose!...Just a little bit of your time, emotions, and heart...but that's no big deal right!

 

By this logic, nobody should ever enter into a relationship at all. Relationships take risk: If you are never willing to go whole-heartedly into one, you will never succeed in taking one to the long term, period. As for buses and honking, there is a healthy middle between waiting til it hits you in the face, and never crossing the road because a bus could be coming at any time and you just miiiiight see one on the horizon.

 

Sorry for the long post on your thread here Johan...I'm not seeking to fight or battle it out I just feel in my opinion a lot of advice although well intended can be very misleading in your own personal romance If taken to heart and duplicated.

 

Johan...use the force! trust your own instincts, don't over-think, be like the karate kid and put the blind fold on and just feel your way through it.

 

Judging from your last post you are recognizing the positive things or at least the things I'd be looking for...maybe because we have similar values. But regardless they seem important to you and you're looking beyond the surface level and see not only what values she has but how she is handling the relationship dynamic with you...which I'm sure her independence is quite a plus for you.

 

You do seem to be nit-picking and trying to find any potential problems...just remember you don't have to try and analyze so hard to the point where you're trying to predict the future. Just continue to open up and communicate and ask her to do the same, keep digging deeper emotionally to who you both really are as people, and what makes each other tick. Strive to understand this woman on an emotional depth that she might not be used to and one that may feel extremely vulnerable and insecure yourself. You'll know when and If you have to pull back the reigns.

 

If she's being transparent and open with you and trustworthy you don't have to be on edge or even think about it, just step back every now and then when you reflect on your relationship and gauge where you feel comfortable and where she does. Take it slow If you feel a bit overwhelmed and make sure to express your fears and concerns with her so she can understand you, don't let them manifest into actions that give her a confused and unclear point of view. Don't let your insecurities grow into something because you feel like you have to deal with them on your own, you have to be able to trust her and bond with her in that way...give her a chance to be there for you and support you.

 

And here you give johan almost exactly the same advice I did. Honestly, NiP, sometimes I think you have a minimum number of words that you MUST key in on your keyboard each day or your entire workstation will just implode in your face. You basically made a humongous post to arrive back at the same conclusion as the very post you strove to discredit.

[runner]

 

Thank you.

 

i think it's easy to project one's insecurities onto the new person you're seeing, whom you really know little of, and then launch them based on those PTSD blinders (which i like to call the shyt-tinted glasses; which are just as bad as the rose coloured ones).

 

always a good idea to pause and consider if this is happening.

 

and you're welcome

[Els]

i think it's easy to project one's insecurities onto the new person you're seeing, whom you really know little of, and then launch them based on those PTSD blinders (which i like to call the shyt-tinted glasses; which are just as bad as the rose coloured ones).

 

always a good idea to pause and consider if this is happening.

 

and you're welcome

 

PTSD blinders. That's a good one.

 

Definitely, we should try to take the middle line - hopefully the one without either pair of glasses. But sometimes I think a little bit of rose now and then ain't too bad - it's called the honeymoon phase for a reason, and the feeling of being crazy in love is one of the best things in life, IMO. As long as one is able to see and assess the situation clearly without them when needed. And johan strikes me as the kind of level-headed person who is mostly able to do just that.

[reallyhotguy]

Gonna go ahead and second the overeager flag waving thing, that is some salient ****. We have a saying in software engineering: "when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." The impression I have of your reports is of someone who has been on LS, oh I dunno, at least once a week since 2004 or so. It's not the wrong approach, but it's just one methodology, specifically one to help cope with uncertainty. The core function is love, and that one you know.

[Frogwife]

 

 

And here you give johan almost exactly the same advice I did. Honestly, NiP, sometimes I think you have a minimum number of words that you MUST key in on your keyboard each day or your entire workstation will just implode in your face. You basically made a humongous post to arrive back at the same conclusion as the very post you strove to discredit.

 

LOL ! (10 characters)

[Eternal Sunshine]

Gonna go ahead and second the overeager flag waving thing, that is some salient ****. We have a saying in software engineering: "when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail." The impression I have of your reports is of someone who has been on LS, oh I dunno, at least once a week since 2004 or so. It's not the wrong approach, but it's just one methodology, specifically one to help cope with uncertainty. The core function is love, and that one you know.

 

What would you know about love

 

Whatever you do johan, don't listen to reallyhotguy.

[Els]

Gonna go ahead and second the overeager flag waving thing, that is some salient ****. We have a saying in software engineering: "when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail."

 

Hey, I know that saying!

[BetheButterfly]

I'm not moving quite that fast. Those decisions are in the future. But I'm also not dating her without thinking how she would fit into my future. I'm not interested in just having a fling.

 

I love how you are not interested in just having a fling!!! She sounds very blessed to know you! It would be great if she could transfer to where you work.

 

Considering future goals is a great way to direct the present. It's great to know where one is going instead of just drifting aimlessly through life without a clue.

 

All the best Johan!!!

[Eternal Sunshine]

I love how you are not interested in just having a fling!!! She sounds very blessed to know you! It would be great if she could transfer to where you work.

 

Considering future goals is a great way to direct the present. It's great to know where one is going instead of just drifting aimlessly through life without a clue.

 

All the best Johan!!!

 

She is definitely a very lucky girl

[Forever Learning]

I like this thread. Lots of interesting things to think about.

[Art_Critic]

Like what ?

[runner]

Like what ?

 

how to balance on the blade of a sword