Mme. Chaucer Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Hey, I have a suggestion for you. This place can help a guy like you out a LOT: Romancecheater.com 2
Author johan Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 Also, nobody expects every conversation to be "mind blowing" nor is it possible. Give yourself a break Maybe not every one of them. But string a few lame ones together, and then what do you have? Probably not the best person to give you advice on this but I wish you luck. I kind of wonder who better? But thanks for the luck. There's a bit more to it when something like that comes from you. Exactly! She's not going to lose interest if you're not 100% witty and engaging every time you talk. Would you be like that if you saw each other day in, day out? Doubtful. There's a small chance not. But in that case we would also be together and could do something together to fill the gap. Stop bloody thinking too much, have faith in yourself and her. Clearly she knows you're amazing, don't ruin that by talking yourself into thinking its going to blow up. BTW, ES you look beautiful in your avatar, that hair! Ok. I'm big on the little signals. They mean more to me than they do to others. Facial expressions and body language really mean a lot to me. I take those things seriously. That will probably be my downfall, considering I rarely know what's actually behind them.
florence of suburbia Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Hope you're able to have fun and enjoy this! I agree with TBF and CE about the over-thinking thing. 1
Author johan Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 Hey, I have a suggestion for you. This place can help a guy like you out a LOT: Romancecheater.com Think I should be mean to her a little bit here and there? That would probably just hurt her feelings. I was at the gym last night. I saw some over-muscled, super-tan, permanent grimace guy walked in with a woman who was sort of cute. At the point where they parted ways to go to their respective machines, he kind of just ignored her and walked off. Like he was some kind of bad-ass and she was supposed to be the inferior one. After the week I had just had with this girl, seeing the two of them was so disgusting. Hope you're able to have fun and enjoy this! I agree with TBF and CE about the over-thinking thing. Yeah, I agree. I'm here to vent, I guess. Better here than somewhere else. I have dated a lot, and I'm pretty experienced, but that doesn't make it easy. Easier maybe, but not all that easy. When you start to care, then you lose control.
florence of suburbia Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 When you start to care, then you lose control. If I were your therapist I'd write that down and pester you about it. 3
threebyfate Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 When you start to care, then you lose control.This is your fear, loss of control. So is loss of autonomy which is actually an even greater fear of yours. These are issues you have to learn to take charge of, not allowing them to dominate your mindset that things will go wrong. Perhaps they will, perhaps they won't and perhaps the sun will go supernova which is actually predestined but not in your lifetime, so it's irrelevant to your situation. But do show her you care, in a consistent fashion. If you don't and your actions tell her you don't care or your signals are push/pull, this will disrupt the flow of positive synergies and put her on guard. 3
Art_Critic Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 (edited) When I drove her to the airport the next day, we had our first (extremely long) kiss at the airport, and we couldn't let go. It would have been the dumbest thing in the world not to take the opportunity. She stayed with me for the next week. We both worked from my house. We spent all day every day together. It was a six-day long second date. No awkwardness or shyness or disagreements or anything. My home became her home. Very easy. And really fun. Wow.. Johan.. if she saw you like this for a week I'm sure she is hooked.. You just wrote a small chapter in a smutty romance novel I'm almost jealous... She has gone back..how did she leave it ? edit** I just read on down the thread... no need to answer that. I know you said you were dull.. I really doubt it.. seems like maybe you are feeling insecure because of the distance and looking at your actions with a magnifying glass... easy to do and hard to stop.... If she is in or almost in then maybe you should go all in too ?? Try not to treat this as something not worth pursuing. How about a little romance from a far.. Flowers sent to her home is not out of the question... and don't forget the note... Edited August 15, 2012 by Art_Critic 4
Art_Critic Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Now all the out of character likes make more sense ... Johan has that whole JFL glow thing going for him... Good for you... 3
mickleb Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 When you start to care, then you lose control. Hey johan. Don't be afraid. You were made to go out and get her. The minute you let her under your skin, then you begin to make it better. 3
Author johan Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 Wow.. Johan.. if she saw you like this for a week I'm sure she is hooked.. You just wrote a small chapter in a smutty romance novel I'm almost jealous... She has gone back..how did she leave it ? edit** I just read on down the thread... no need to answer that. I know you said you were dull.. I really doubt it.. seems like maybe you are feeling insecure because of the distance and looking at your actions with a magnifying glass... easy to do and hard to stop.... If she is in or almost in then maybe you should go all in too ?? Try not to treat this as something not worth pursuing. How about a little romance from a far.. Flowers sent to her home is not out of the question... and don't forget the note... Oh, she's hooked for sure. It's keeping her on the hook that is the challenge. That's the part where I tend to screw up. Almost any fishing metaphor you can think of would work here. We'll see about the next steps. Another wise person told me I should try to put a ring on her finger. It's not a terrible idea. But it felt a little too soon. 2
Forever Learning Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Wow, I'm learning alot here already! This is cool! I didn't realize men worried so much about 'caring' and 'losing control' and 'losing autonomy'. What a great education! Awesome. I think this may have been my neighbors problem as well to some extent (the neighbor I had a crush on, who said he couldn't 'reciprocate'). Neato and cool beans.
Star Gazer Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Your love story sounds a lot like mine with my current SO, J...both from when I first met him 6+ years ago, to how we feel about each other now, deapite the occasional dull-ish convo. Go with it. I wish you nothing but the best of luck. 1
Forever Learning Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Another wise person told me I should try to put a ring on her finger. It's not a terrible idea. But it felt a little too soon. Oh wow. Amazing! 1
gaius Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 I don't think that he'd be talking like this, if she was in our midst. I could be wrong, though. My way of asking how they met. Congrats, seems like a great thing you have going. 1
threebyfate Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Put a ring on it? That's what my husband did and it worked most excellent. If you feel that strongly about her johan, do it! 1
Art_Critic Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 We'll see about the next steps. Another wise person told me I should try to put a ring on her finger. It's not a terrible idea. But it felt a little too soon. Well.. I did mention to go all in.. that could mean many things.. Too soon.. only you can know that.. I know people who have been happily married most of their lives who got married after knowing each other less than a week.. I even dated a girl once that her parents got engaged and married after one date and have been married almost 40 years.. I'm not saying to put a ring on her finger but I'm also not saying don't.. that is all your decision to make.. One thing is for sure.... you should make a move that shakes her ground some.. 1
Star Gazer Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Oh, she's hooked for sure. It's keeping her on the hook that is the challenge. That's the part where I tend to screw up. Almost any fishing metaphor you can think of would work here. Sharks don't need a dead seal, just a little blood in the water. 3
Art_Critic Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Sharks don't need a dead seal, just a little blood in the water. That is so Johan SG... ahahahaha 2
nessaaa Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 That's so romantical Johan u are so cute the way you talk about her... I'm jelly. 1
Author johan Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 As Frankie once said, just R.E.L.A.X. Don't do it? 1
snug.bunny Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Don't do it? Well, only when you want to get to it. 1
Author johan Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 Put a ring on it? That's what my husband did and it worked most excellent. If you feel that strongly about her johan, do it! I know it. It's an idea I'm tossing around. Maybe Prague would be a good city to do that kind of thing in... I know people who have been happily married most of their lives who got married after knowing each other less than a week.. I even dated a girl once that her parents got engaged and married after one date and have been married almost 40 years.. It seems like those stories are pretty common. People who just went for it. Somehow those marriages work out better than the ones where people date for years and are all tentative about it. It would be interesting to see the real statistics. Sharks don't need a dead seal, just a little blood in the water. Is "you're like a wounded seal to me, chum" a romantic line? I might try that on her. She is well acquainted with my shark-like tendencies. That's so romantical Johan u are so cute the way you talk about her... I'm jelly. I started this thread partly for you nessaaa. Guys are not all such cads. 2
Forever Learning Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 (edited) Sharks don't need a dead seal, just a little blood in the water. Well with the fishing metaphors I was thinking more along the lines of 38 Special's "hold on loosely, but don't let go" (to the cute keeper you 'hooked'). Maybe a lovely row boat straight out of an English watercolor painting with a turn of the century petticoated lady holding a sun umbrella while the endearing gentleman rows them along on a sunny afternoon after they've just finished their tea time picnic under a nearby shade tree...... But now I'm just a bit nervous to get on a boat at all, what with Great Whites and blubbery seal carcasses and blood in the water and whatnot and Jaws pulling those big floating keg barrels underwater and the fishing boat engines smoking and catching fire and the radio calls for help failing the crazed boat captain. I'll just be over here on the shore building sandcastles. No fishing for me today! But Johan I'm glad the shark and chum thing rings her bell! HOT! Edited August 15, 2012 by Forever Learning
threebyfate Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Squeee!!! They have horse drawn carriages in Prague. Just sayin'... 2
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