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Posted

It's been like magic. But uneasiness has crept in. The early days keep me so off balance. Trying to understand a new person's signals and find boundaries. Patience is not my strong suit. Being cool and keeping my confidence up and out of her reach is a real challenge.

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Posted

what does "out of her reach" mean?

 

That's cool you met someone, why are you so stressed about it though :confused: chill.... :o

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Posted

It's just easy for her to do something incidental to knock it down. Better to keep it up out of the way.

 

This one promises to be complicated. I'm not good at this kind of relationship. I really adore this girl though. It's a fine line to walk between expressing myself to her honestly and coming on too strong.

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Posted

IME coming on strong never works.

 

Play it cool, and focus on enjoying your time with her. If she genuinely likes you, she will make the effort. She will come to you.

Posted

Why is this one complicated?

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Posted
IME coming on strong never works.

 

Play it cool, and focus on enjoying your time with her. If she genuinely likes you, she will make the effort. She will come to you.

 

I know. I generally am aggressive and affectionate with someone new. And that has always worked out for me, because I'm pretty sensitive about boundaries. And humor makes it fun. I break through walls quickly, because they like me and trust me quickly.

 

But there is a line I sometimes stumble over that makes them think they have me hooked, instead of me hooking them. Then it gets tough.

 

Why is this one complicated?

 

Distance. Lots of distance. It isn't what I wanted, but life throws these things at you, and you have to figure out what to do with them.

 

There is a distinct feeling that that this one is the one. But the distance puts that at risk.

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Posted

Distance. Lots of distance. It isn't what I wanted, but life throws these things at you, and you have to figure out what to do with them.

 

There is a distinct feeling that that this one is the one. But the distance puts that at risk.

Another loveshack poster? Pyro and CE have company on their hands soon?

Posted

Stop thinking about it, just go with things.

 

You think too much. Stop it!!

 

Oh, and hello! :);)

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Posted
Another loveshack poster? Pyro and CE have company on their hands soon?

 

It's actually CE. So yeah, they are going to have company on their hands, but not in the way you thought.

 

Stop thinking about it, just go with things.

 

You think too much. Stop it!!

 

Oh, and hello! :);)

 

I think the problem is two things. One is that what we had in person was so automatic and perfect, so how can we possibly keep that same kind of fire going over long distance? The second is that long distance relationships are hard anyway.

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Posted

Can you tell us more? I know you probably don't want to give too much away, but well, um...we're nosy as hell.

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Posted

When I met my wife she did things that made me a little off kilter and I didn't know how to deal with so I did nothing...

I just went with the flow and didn't make any deal out of anything that I didn't quite get..

Like the distance and calling thing... She never called me even though we had been dating a while.. it was no biggie.. I had to learn to just leave my little insecurity alone and go do something else.

With us.. it all worked out..I think she played hard to get and did some things in order to gain my interest when in reality she all ready had it so I didn't know what to do..

 

Lay back and enjoy it Johan... :)

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Posted

I think the problem is two things. One is that what we had in person was so automatic and perfect, so how can we possibly keep that same kind of fire going over long distance? The second is that long distance relationships are hard anyway.

 

They have these things today.. called Planes.. :)

 

Weekends were made to fly...

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Posted
Another loveshack poster? Pyro and CE have company on their hands soon?

 

I don't think that he'd be talking like this, if she was in our midst. :) I could be wrong, though.

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Posted
It's actually CE. So yeah, they are going to have company on their hands, but not in the way you thought.

 

I think the problem is two things. One is that what we had in person was so automatic and perfect, so how can we possibly keep that same kind of fire going over long distance? The second is that long distance relationships are hard anyway.

:laugh: Awkward!

 

I know EXACTLY what you mean. And it's definitely possible, or I wouldn't be currently an old married lady. :p

You already know that the chemistry is good, in person. So it can be like that, and every single time you see each other. But you need to make the time to talk when you're not together, and try not to leave it too long without seeing each other.

 

I can already tell this one is special to you which is great. Keep it up. :)

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Posted
Can you tell us more? I know you probably don't want to give too much away, but well, um...we're nosy as hell.

 

Well, it's a bit of a story. I'll try to make it short... she works for one of our foreign offices. She was here on a meet-the-rest-of-the-team trip. I met her in the last couple of days before she left. I took her out, and we kind of clicked. Lots in common, good values, great attraction, etc. When things were clicking along, knowing that she would fly out the next day, I remarked that people miss flights all the time. It wouldn't be the end of the world if she did, too. We both considered it a little bit of a joke. But also a serious expression of my interest. The seed was planted.

 

When I drove her to the airport the next day, we had our first (extremely long) kiss at the airport, and we couldn't let go. It would have been the dumbest thing in the world not to take the opportunity. She stayed with me for the next week. We both worked from my house. We spent all day every day together. It was a six-day long second date. No awkwardness or shyness or disagreements or anything. My home became her home. Very easy. And really fun.

 

Now she's gone home, and we have to go from four dimensions to what feels like two. The degrees of freedom are reduced. We have to fit all we had into voice and pictures. It's great, but it's also a step backwards. I guess I feel like if we don't keep the magic going, she's going to lose the handle. She'll decide it was a fun week, but that's all.

 

When I met my wife she did things that made me a little off kilter and I didn't know how to deal with so I did nothing...

I just went with the flow and didn't make any deal out of anything that I didn't quite get..

Like the distance and calling thing... She never called me even though we had been dating a while.. it was no biggie.. I had to learn to just leave my little insecurity alone and go do something else.

With us.. it all worked out..I think she played hard to get and did some things in order to gain my interest when in reality she all ready had it so I didn't know what to do..

 

Lay back and enjoy it Johan... :)

 

I should. After we talked today, it just didn't feel like what I wanted it to. I felt like a let down for her. Not as talkative or fun or interesting. Dull. I guess I should get used to the idea that, as a guy, I'm probably just going to be a let-down. And that doesn't mean she won't someday be mine anyway. I would dig a tunnel through the Earth with my fingernails to get to her.

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Posted
They have these things today.. called Planes.. :)

 

Weekends were made to fly...

 

This flight would almost take an entire weekend. Not your typical short hop.

Posted

I have this strong feeling that she is the one ;)

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Posted

Thanks for the details :).

 

What if you made plans to see her soon? Part of what keeps a long distance thing going is having a target on the horizon.

 

Also, you're a sexy writer so you should use that to your advantage. Women love to get love letters. Even short little hellos. Catch her off guard and surprise her. It doesn't have to be big gestures. And not necessarily every day. Brief silences are ok and add tension and mystery.

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Posted
I would dig a tunnel through the Earth with my fingernails to get to her.

 

 

Now THATS what I'm talking bout!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

 

 

Christmas came early to Love Shack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

I'm all giddy for my FAVORITE ROBOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

 

**********************************************************************

 

Congratulations Johan. Enjoy and savor each moment of this magical experience. Don't worry about the future too much right now. Just do your best to enjoy the here and now. So happy for you and her. Cheers. :)

Posted

Also, nobody expects every conversation to be "mind blowing" nor is it possible. Give yourself a break :)

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Posted

Probably not the best person to give you advice on this but I wish you luck. :)

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Posted
Thanks for the details :).

 

What if you made plans to see her soon? Part of what keeps a long distance thing going is having a target on the horizon.

 

Also, you're a sexy writer so you should use that to your advantage. Women love to get love letters. Even short little hellos. Catch her off guard and surprise her. It doesn't have to be big gestures. And not necessarily every day. Brief silences are ok and add tension and mystery.

 

We are trying to make plans. She took the initiative to suggest dates that she thinks would be best. But it conflicts with things I'm not sure it would be wise to miss. Personal and professional things. Now we are trying to figure out what would work.

 

I could write to her. You're right. We IM and Skype a lot. So the need to write hasn't been that great. But sometimes I'm better in writing. A little more strategic. We'll see.

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Posted
Also, nobody expects every conversation to be "mind blowing" nor is it possible. Give yourself a break :)

 

Exactly!

 

She's not going to lose interest if you're not 100% witty and engaging every time you talk. Would you be like that if you saw each other day in, day out? Doubtful.

 

Stop bloody thinking too much, have faith in yourself and her. Clearly she knows you're amazing, don't ruin that by talking yourself into thinking its going to blow up.

 

BTW, ES you look beautiful in your avatar, that hair!

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Posted

Thanks CE. :)

 

Johan's story has inspired me not to settle...

Posted

Hell...why not. :laugh:

 

Firstly, you're a terrible judge with what the other person's thinking and their perception of you. Next, stop overthinking things in a negative mindset. Lastly, when you overthink, you're very capable of thinking your way out of connections.

 

Relax and let things play out.

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