confusedx10 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 My boyfriend and I of two years just broke up. He said he wanted space and he called me today after two weeks. He lives in Illinois and I live in Connecticut so its long distance. This year I am going to Maine for school and he is going to California. We met at our prep high school and dated junior and senior year. We saw each other every day and it was amazing. He always spoiled me and I took him for granted. I saw him a month ago and we had so much fun, but now we are facing reality. He said he still loves me but its fading. How can it fade? He wants to start with a clean slate in college and not have to worry about the pressure of a realtionship. I know I can be a lot to handle sometimes but I love him. I only recently admitted it to him but it was too late. I took him for granted when he was so good to me. I loved that he liked me more. Now I am alone. I have tried to prove to him that I love him but he's set in his decision. It just confuses me because we talked about marriage. I am 18 and he is 19 so we weren't going to get married yet but we are committed to each other. I questioned the distance and he said no i need you and we can make it work. Now i want to stay together but he changed his mind. I'm really struggling. I haven't felt this way before and even though I am only 18, I would marry him. I know I need to give him space and not talk for at least a couple of months. But i truly think I am in love. He said he loved me to even though we are breaking up. We could've stayed together but we would only see each other once or twice for the next four years at least... I know it isnt realistic to stay together but its so hard. Will this last or I am just a stupid teenager? advice please!
justwhoiam Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 My boyfriend and I of two years just broke up. He said he wanted space and he called me today after two weeks. He lives in Illinois and I live in Connecticut so its long distance. This year I am going to Maine for school and he is going to California. We met at our prep high school and dated junior and senior year. We saw each other every day and it was amazing. He always spoiled me and I took him for granted. I saw him a month ago and we had so much fun, but now we are facing reality. He said he still loves me but its fading. How can it fade? He wants to start with a clean slate in college and not have to worry about the pressure of a realtionship. I know I can be a lot to handle sometimes but I love him. I only recently admitted it to him but it was too late. I took him for granted when he was so good to me. I loved that he liked me more. Now I am alone. I have tried to prove to him that I love him but he's set in his decision. It just confuses me because we talked about marriage. I am 18 and he is 19 so we weren't going to get married yet but we are committed to each other. I questioned the distance and he said no i need you and we can make it work. Now i want to stay together but he changed his mind. I'm really struggling. I haven't felt this way before and even though I am only 18, I would marry him. I know I need to give him space and not talk for at least a couple of months. But i truly think I am in love. He said he loved me to even though we are breaking up. We could've stayed together but we would only see each other once or twice for the next four years at least... I know it isnt realistic to stay together but its so hard. Will this last or I am just a stupid teenager? advice please! Send him a farewell email. And move on. You can't force someone to be with you. If he's the right one, he will think it over. But chances are there's too much on his plate right now. 1
Author confusedx10 Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 I know we are both going to be busy and the distance is too much. Realistically it wont work right now. We both wish it could but we would end up missing each other too much and hurting. We had to break up. I am going to hook up with other guys and he will hook up with other girls but I don't think I can love anyone the way I love him. Can I say that in my text to him? Say that realistically we cant be together now and we will both move on but I'll wait for him? He's told me that before. Its just so hard because we didn't break up because something was wrong. As much as I want to stay together, we cant and i keep telling myself that. I want to move on with my life, be happy again, and get with other guys, but eventually end up with him. No other guys is him. And if in time I get over him and meet someone else, then we werent meant to be. Is that a bad approach?
justwhoiam Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 we would end up missing each other too much and hurting. That happens to every couple in a LDR. It's not a bed of roses... But certainly there are magic and happy moments. I am going to hook up with other guys and he will hook up with other girls but I don't think I can love anyone the way I love him. Can I say that in my text to him? You want to text him? I guess an email would be better. One email were you squeeze everything in and then it's over. Say that realistically we cant be together now and we will both move on but I'll wait for him? Everything is possible but it takes two. And not two people who are willing to have other experiences with other people. Saying you'll wait for him is just ridiculous, because you won't. You clearly said you want to hook up with other guys. Don't fake a pious behavior. Its just so hard because we didn't break up because something was wrong. Something is wrong (the distance), otherwise you wouldn't break up. Also, I don't think it's just because of the distance, add: age, school and countless doors opening before your eyes... I want to move on with my life, be happy again, and get with other guys, but eventually end up with him. No other guys is him. And if in time I get over him and meet someone else, then we werent meant to be. Is that a bad approach? You can have a wish, but once a relationship's broken at such a young age, rarely you get back together. He will meet other girls and women on his path, so it's possible that you'll be soon a dear memory of his past.
amayana Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 Hey Well, I hate to say this and I know it hurts, but I think the long distance is not the problem in your relationship with that boy. As far as I understand he wants to go to college as a single, young man. In other words, he wants to have fun, get to know new people, experience his new college life in all its splendour. You're both going in different directions and maybe it's time to try to accept that and move on although you still love him. You are both young. You still have your whole lives ahead of you and I'm certain you will get to know someone new in due time. Enjoy your college life, embrace it. Make friends, get involved, make the best of your time. 1
cheerylowe24 Posted August 20, 2012 Posted August 20, 2012 it depends how you guys handle the LDR.. I've been in LDR, i met my husband in FACEBOOK and never think he's going to propose and last march we get married.. We have a one month old baby girl now.. he's from Colorado and I'm from Philippines.. 8,700+ miles our distance to each other but we never give up.. You need to be strong coz you entered in LDR.. right now it sucks coz he went back in CO to finish his study.. If you can handle the LDR go for it but if you can't better to let him go and move on.. Being in LDR is a big challenge.. COMMUNICATION is the number one, then trust, faithful/loyal.. You need to exert of effort if you want to continue your LDR thing.. Goodluck.
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