Xestenz Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Was happily sailing through two months of NC, and healing well (the heartache and emotion are long gone, I'm dating and enjoying other women, keeping busy, etc.) This after being dumped by my girlfriend of five months because of too much stress in her life due to a severely ADD son with special needs, a failed business of her father's that lost everyone's life savings, job stress etc. All this is fine but she still treated me like crap at the end after a lot was done and said during the relationship. Ran into her sister the other night while shopping with my daughters. Did the small talk thing and didn't bring up the ex at all. As usual, unsolicited, the sister mentioned that the ex was still going through a tough time with her ADD son. This got me thinking again too much. What if her reasons for breaking off the relationship were indeed legitimate? What if she would still be with me otherwise? Shouldn't I have empathy for her situation, even though I'm not happy with the outcome? So, I sent her a short text, saying now that the emotion was gone and I had the chance to move forward that I better respected and empathized with her situation, and that nothing is more important than the well being of her children and her. Of course, got no reply -- and now I'm feeling a bit foolish and that I've given her back something she doesn't necessarily deserve. She opted to break up with me rather than lean on me as a source of strength. She was willing to give away what seemed like a great relationship (if it was real to begin with). After breaking it off she strung me along with constant contact and glimpses of getting back together, and then brazenly went back into dating on the dating site on which we met right in front of me. She finally ended it all by text. In retrospect, I was likely just used as a rebound toy. So I'm feeling ambivalent about sending her the text now and breaking NC. In the end I am committed to moving on and finding someone actually available to me and who will treat me with respect and well, so I know this doesn't matter one way or the other. But I'm torn between anger and empathy towards her. Damn this is all so tough. Can't wait until this is all a distant memory and lasting lessons.
WeirdExs Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 This may sound harsh but that you should be your last straw and last sign she isn't going to come back. Move on, stop thinking of NC as a way to get her back. Go out there and meet new people, it was only a five month relationship and just think that you've missed two whole months of meeting new people still holding on hope that she would come back. It might suck but you breaking NC and her not responding is probably one of the better thing that happened to you.
Author Xestenz Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 Good point and not harsh at all. In this way, I know for sure there is nothing left. I have to accept that the simplest and most logical explanation for how things went down in the end is that she met someone new on the dating site and is now happily sailing along. I have NOT been waiting around for her -- have been keeping very active, working out, running on the beach, meeting new people, doing some light dating, hanging out with friends. Do I miss her still? You bet! Would I take her back now? Not in her current state and situation.
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