Hornachero Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Hello Loveshacks! It's been four days since my BU (which feels like an eternity) and I have been spending a lot of time on this forum and other support sites. I have also been going out a lot and avoiding being by myself as much as possible but I still can't eat or sleep and mornings are particularly hard for me. Is there anything else that you do to get through the day? Things that worked for me so far are the following: 1-Getting busy with work. 2-Talking to as many people as possible. I started talking to random people in the street/the bus...etc. Cracking jokes and being witty. Even if I feel that my heart is a piece of cardboard, starting new conversations forces me to stop thinking about my ex (if only for 5 min). 2-Going to the gym. 3-Listenign to cheerful music that is in no way associated with my ex. 4-NC with my ex. I have stopped answering her texts and I feel much better. I feel a bit guilty about it though because I promised her that we were going to remain friends after she broke up with me but not answering her texts is the last thing I have a little bit of control over! Is there anything else that makes you feel better? 1
Sameold Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Make lots and lots of plans. Plan your life away. Be Mr Cool and live your weekend the best you can and work your arse off in the week. Just be good to yourself and your physical and mental health will follow. You seem to be on a very good track.
Author Hornachero Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 Hey Samold, Thank you for your prompt reply! For the last couple of days, I have been on auto-pilot really. I am so shocked/hurt by the BU that I force myself no to think about it because I feel that it is going to kill me if I let it go. In a way, the fear of the pain that comes from thinking about her is my biggest motivation. I guess NC has been relatively easy because I know how badly hurt I will be if she toys with me again. I do wonder though whether folks here have developed efficient ways to stop thinking about their exes or stop intrusive thoughts. Gym is good for sure but I often find myself thinking about her while pushing weights. Inspirational music really works for me because it puts me in a good mood and allow me to imagine a future without her (even if it's usually only for a brief moment). Other suggestions? 1
Future7 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Well if you ex is contacting you I would be feeling much better about the situation becuase it is in your hands for now. I am also on my 4th day away from being broken up with and what I find that makes it easier is talking with my family about everything and understanding why the break up happened. I am now starting to embrace it and accept what is happening and everyday is just starting to get a little better. Had my first full meal today and won a lottery ticket for $5 yesterday...it's the little things
Author Hornachero Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 Hahaha! Always nice when it happens - the lottery win, not the BU of course How long were you guys together?
Future7 Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 Together for two years. She had my heart. She broke no contact twice in the past week and ignored her once. The second time she asked me to go to a club with her but I said no thanks. However that has deffinetly played with my emotions.
Author Hornachero Posted August 18, 2012 Author Posted August 18, 2012 Yes, it is not easy at all when exes call us. The way I see it though is that they are the ones who started the mess, they should be the ones to clean it if they really want to. My ex texted me a couple of times this week (I replied very briefly) and she didn't push things further. I figured that if she was really interested or hurt she would take the phone and call me instead of being so casual about it. Oh well. The NC thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/coping/56954-do-you-really-think-contacting-your-ex-going-help-you-guide-long-walk was soooooo useful! Every time I feel the urge to call/text her of even walk by where she lives, I read it and it gives me the motivation for another day of NC.
kindest Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 I work, I read, I practice yoga, I hang out with friends. It's never easy. Like you, thoughts of my ex come creeping in even as I am immersing myself in these activities. Imagine me doing a 'dead body' pose and thinking about him at the same time. Ironically, that pose is supposed to relax me. I get sad. I get lonely. I get angry. All in one day, and the cycle repeats. I just let myself feel all these emotions and trust that the day will come when I have completely healed and I will feel like my old self again.
Future7 Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 I am waiting for the day she texts me back and says that she regrets everything and wants me back. I treated her better than any other person and she knows it. It's just when she realizes it. I however want to get my life back on track and keep moving forward. She was my best friend for 3 years though, tough...
barese1 Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 I am waiting for the day she texts me back and says that she regrets everything and wants me back. I treated her better than any other person and she knows it. It's just when she realizes it. I however want to get my life back on track and keep moving forward. She was my best friend for 3 years though, tough... Mate I hate to say it but that's you living on false hope. yeah it might happen, but if it doesn't you aren't healing. don't get me wrong we've all been there but it won't help you to move on
Future7 Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 You are right, never really felt anything like this before. I suppose thinking more about it won't help me. Just her messing me with I guess.
barese1 Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 It sucks, we've all been there. The quicker you can accept it and not wait for the message or phone call the quicker you can heal. Honestly it only hit me after about 4 months since the BU and only now can I truely say I'm starting, thats starting, to move on
Future7 Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 Haha honestly I had accepted it until the night I thought it was a good idea to respond to her. Set me back good. I'm off to college so hopefully many new things going on there so I don't have to remind myself of her. 1
Brokendude Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 Hey man, i noticed uve been struggling hard, i posted something last night on how to deal w the weekends, try to read that and if it doesnt help still gimme ur email address, well help u go thru it together, im into a month break up but i conditioned myself to be stronger and wiser, im in a Better state mentally, i can def help u get to the same place, if ur willig to do the work and willig to listen 1
outofgoodbyes Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 make plans, make plans, make plans. keep yourself so occupied you wont have time to think about it. find something youve always wanted to do and try to do it. go with friends... surround yourself with people... sleep... or if youre religious, go to church..
Author Hornachero Posted August 18, 2012 Author Posted August 18, 2012 For some reason, I really like this tumblr! Got Inspiration? Today, this quote by Winston Churchill made my day: "Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." --Winston Churchill
Author Hornachero Posted August 25, 2012 Author Posted August 25, 2012 Oh how I have been hating friday evenings since the BU and how I have been dreading weekends! The last couple of days have been particularly challenging. She wanted to go for lunch (I politely declined saying that we obviously weren't looking for the same things in life) and I've been feeling terrible ever since. I don't know what I will be doing for the next two days! The weather is beautiful out and for some reason, it is making me feel even worse. I am imagining her having fun outside with her friends (or worse, a new boyfriend) while I am so miserable and I hate myself for thinking like this! On the positive side though, I have been exercising and working like crazy with nice results on both fronts! At least something is working out!
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