Barclay Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Hi thanks for reading in advance. I met this girl at work and we hit it off so well. We went on around 4 dates over a space of a week. There was definatly alot of intrest from her, and she even told me she really liked me. I then went away for 1 week with my job, we stayed a bit in contact via email, just general chit chat etc. When i got back she went totally cold on me and started with some excuses that she couldnt commit to meet up anymore because she had vistors (she is from a foreign country) I was a little miffed by all this and did a stupid thing asking if she was just trying to blow me off. She said she was all confused etc. We see each other around 5-6 times per week at work and have a a 5 min chat and we talked about meeting up for lunch which she flaked on me 2 times in a row. We talked about going for a drink after her vacation and she flaked on me again. All this time i have acted cool, didnt say anything and was just friendly and acted normal. This has been going on for like a month now. I know i should forget her but i cant. I never met someone before i got on so well with There was this instant chemistry and i cant say why, I just know i cant give her up. I have been married before, had lots of serious girlfriends in the past etc I can go to bars etc and meet women, ive been rejected before so its not because she is rejecting me. How can I get her to give me a chance if i cant get a date and also how can i find out what went wrong (the truth).
Author Barclay Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 (edited) hey, Problem is i cant get her alone unless we at work and then whenever we can build up to that kind of conversation, someone/something happens to distract it. She dont answer the phone if i have called, and im not going to call again because now i would look weird and needy. I cant even show her what she is missing as well since we dont socialise in the same circles. She has talked about being stressed and feeling homesick and life hasnt really progressed for her etc. She mentioned about a relationship once and did mention about being scared to get hurt. Edited August 15, 2012 by Barclay
Radu Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 She's either scared or has another guy. Either way, a no is a no in this case and you are idealizing how she might be. In other words, you have a crush ... get over it. What country is she from and in which country are you guys now ?
Author Barclay Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 Im almost certain there is nobody else. I could be wrong though, yes this is a massive crush. You can say get over it but I can't. I need to try so I don't regret not trying, This is why I'm here. To get advice
Author Barclay Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 Thanks for the advice, but this is not what im looking for. Basically she is shutting me out. Without going emo and needy i need to get back in there. This is the advice on how to do this im looking for. Yer i can walk away i realise this, I know you lot probably think i want her more because i cant have her etc. But its about what you feel is right and wrong. I can ignore her and see if she misses me but we only see each other when we at work, (different company/same building) We have no social friends the same, so making her see what she is missing is kinda hard. Come on guys there must be someone out there who was in the same situation and had success!!
Author Barclay Posted August 17, 2012 Author Posted August 17, 2012 Someone must of had this situation before?
CarrieT Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 If she is from a foreign country, she might have personal or family obligations that she can't explain and that keep her from getting involved. You have made your best effort and now it is time for you to respect her wishes. She has been given the option of staying in contact and being with you and has chosen another path = you can't make someone be involved in a relationship if they don't want to be. You WILL get over her and if she changes her mind, I'm sure she will let you know.
Radu Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 Im almost certain there is nobody else. I could be wrong though, yes this is a massive crush. You can say get over it but I can't. I need to try so I don't regret not trying, This is why I'm here. To get advice Yeah, you can. Did it twice in the last yr. I just relaxed, emptied my head, pictured her, and attached very negative things to her [slutty, porn online, has HIV, herpes ... that sort of thing].
Author Barclay Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 question is what to do to gain intrest, create attraction again. like leave it few months, boast a bit when i can but not in a moron way. Flirt? Make myself to be High value again? Basically ive failed in someway and she has lost intrest so i need to get that back.
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