Matt145 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 So ive made a few threads the past few weeks here on LS and everyone here has made it so much easier for me which i really appreciate. But my ex called me this morning on an unknown number so i answered not knowing it was her. So i thought **** it and just spoke to her she asked me to go to her house for a catch up but it was obviously for sex, she said that shes sorry for contacting me all the time but she cant help it she misses me to much, she loves me but doesnt feel the passion anymore, she doesnt want a relationship right now, shes been in relationships for 5 years and shes 17 shes young she wants to live her life, i cant really blame her and i know i should do the same as her. I told her that its hurt me because we have never really had a real goodbye its always been over the phone and texting. She agreed with me and she said we should have a day where we meet up and just say goodbye and do things what we did. I said i would love too then she suddenly said she had to go and we said bye and she said she wont contact me now, but i know she will over this day. But if we do happen to do it, we will have sex more than likely since she has been desperately asking me to be friends and because i said no she asked me to be FWB i said no to that too. We will also probably just go out for the day and have fun and then say bye and thats it for good id tell her on the day that im blanking all her calls and texts if she sends any unless there relationship based ( which im 100% committed to doing ) But i was thinking that it if i do see her for that day and we have a really good time she might have second thoughts when we go back into NC and it might make her miss me even more. But i dont know i just dont know how to proceed from here can anyone see any bad in me doing this? Or should i call her and say im blanking your texts and calls from now on or should i wait for her to call me.
Author Matt145 Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 Do you want to be her puppet? Nope, but its my first ever break up i guess im just so inexperienced im just falling for everything im not going to lie. She makes me feel weak i am addicted to her.
BrokenAnna Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Nope, but its my first ever break up i guess im just so inexperienced im just falling for everything im not going to lie. She makes me feel weak i am addicted to her. It's normal, but Matt don't be her doormat...it's time that you stand up for yourself and redeem your dignity and show her that you respect yourself enough rather than to play her petty games. Yes the sex might seem good, but a temporary fix won't heal your heart and this will only give her leverage to manipulate you to suit her needs.
Author Matt145 Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 It's normal, but Matt don't be her doormat...it's time that you stand up for yourself and redeem your dignity and show her that you respect yourself enough rather than to play her petty games. Yes the sex might seem good, but a temporary fix won't heal your heart and this will only give her leverage to manipulate you to suit her needs. So what do you suggest me to do? Tell her that im blanking everything from now on?
BrokenAnna Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 So what do you suggest me to do? Tell her that im blanking everything from now on? Since she made it clear she has no interest in a relationship, I wouldn't even waste another second longer on her...block, delete and move on.
Floored Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 I could tell before even opening the thread that it was going to be a bad idea; if you have to ask, you're looking for excuses or someone to enable you. Then I read the thread and decided I was right. Now, I can't really speak from a holier-than-thou stance; thank goodness my ex hasn't used sex as leverage because I am a weak man. But for your situation, you will not move on from this relationship if you are FWB, and it will mess with your mind. It only looks like a free good time, but reread your own post: "But i was thinking that it if i do see her for that day and we have a really good time she might have second thoughts when we go back into NC and it might make her miss me even more." Even you stated that you have some sort of expectation that seeing her/ sleeping with her will rekindle the flame that you once had. It won't. Being easy demotes you down to throw-away-when-expired status, even if you aren't going to be ready to be thrown when she does. You could have moved on by then, instead, you'd be back here at position number one all over again. She's 17, she has a LOT of growing to do, just as you do. Do you like the directions that you both are going right now? She being the type of person to use sex to keep around exes? And you're letting her walk in and out of your life even now as she pleases? Stand up for yourself and realize that this is not the last woman you'll have the torture of dealing with. Tell her you need a few weeks to think, and then stick to it, try going NC for that a time and see if you come out the other side feeling the same as you do now; come back and reread this and your other threads and see if your heart and mind are the same then. Worst that's going to happen is nothing- guaranteed she's already moving on as hard as it hurts to hear, so you won't be 'losing' her if you don't keep in contact with her. She wants to be lost from you, let her be.
Author Matt145 Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 I could tell before even opening the thread that it was going to be a bad idea; if you have to ask, you're looking for excuses or someone to enable you. Then I read the thread and decided I was right. Now, I can't really speak from a holier-than-thou stance; thank goodness my ex hasn't used sex as leverage because I am a weak man. But for your situation, you will not move on from this relationship if you are FWB, and it will mess with your mind. It only looks like a free good time, but reread your own post: "But i was thinking that it if i do see her for that day and we have a really good time she might have second thoughts when we go back into NC and it might make her miss me even more." Even you stated that you have some sort of expectation that seeing her/ sleeping with her will rekindle the flame that you once had. It won't. Being easy demotes you down to throw-away-when-expired status, even if you aren't going to be ready to be thrown when she does. You could have moved on by then, instead, you'd be back here at position number one all over again. She's 17, she has a LOT of growing to do, just as you do. Do you like the directions that you both are going right now? She being the type of person to use sex to keep around exes? And you're letting her walk in and out of your life even now as she pleases? Stand up for yourself and realize that this is not the last woman you'll have the torture of dealing with. Tell her you need a few weeks to think, and then stick to it, try going NC for that a time and see if you come out the other side feeling the same as you do now; come back and reread this and your other threads and see if your heart and mind are the same then. Worst that's going to happen is nothing- guaranteed she's already moving on as hard as it hurts to hear, so you won't be 'losing' her if you don't keep in contact with her. She wants to be lost from you, let her be. As much as i hate to hear it your right. I just wish she had never brought sex into it, before she did i was good and confident now thats just totally low blowed me.
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