l0veisabattlefield Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Let me start off by saying this is the hardest decision I've ever had to encounter. So there's these two guys, we'll just call them D & K. Well let me start by telling you the two stories of the guys... K: K is an amazing guy. We met at work and he is one of my managers. The first time we hung out he invited me over to his place for this party. We just drank and had a good time, nothing happened. We bonded really great as friends, like best friends. Anyways we basically dated for a month in a half & we became official July 9th. and I moved into his place. I would always clean, do laundry, and grocery shop for the place and he always showed me and told me how great full he was for what I have done, you could say he showed me the appreciation I longed for. He always tells me he loves me and cares for me and would do anything for me. He's a guy that's been through a lot. He lost his mom, dad and grandma young, he's lost everybody and he always says since I came into his life things just seem perfect. He says I'm perfect in his eyes, even though I've put him through a lot.. Before we started talking but I knew he liked me, I kissed a few of his friends when I was intoxicated and he just subsided all that, but I have put him through a lot of bull**** and I could see he's serious about me. Even though it's only been maybe 3 or 4 months, things have gotten serious and we have already been through a lot. I love the fact that we live together and I love cleaning and caring for him. It's a new love, but I have fallen for this guy hard. The sex is amazing also, every time he kisses me I get all hot & wired up I always want to pleasure him or we just end up going a few rounds. Now you're probably wondering "Well pick K OBVIOUSLY!" But,, here's D.. D: D and I have dated in the past, we actually broke up May 4th after dating for 6 years. We broke up because I felt unappreciated and told him many times I was unhappy and he subsided my feelings for so long, I finally ended it. While we were broken up is when I started hanging out with K. Anyways, D was texting and messaging me saying he missed me, and loves me, and I'm the girl he sees himself with and he hates himself for losing me. Well I am still in love with D & I don't think I will stop or feelings will stop for a long time, we have been together through thick and thin and I don't know if he's as serious as he says he is. I don't want to put myself through that hurt again and lose K. When me and D kiss it's passionate, but it doesn't get me as hot and wired up as I am with K, But when I'm with D it's different, it feels like old times and I never wanna leave but with K I'm more independent and I like that, I like being able to do what I want to do and sometimes I think D wants to control me and make me stay. I have wanted to get my own place with D for a long time and he never saves or makes the effort. He's always attatched to his mom and that's okay sometimes, but I want a man who can just let me do all the cleaning, and cooking, and laundry. I'm a girl who loves to care for my man and I enjoy doing all that. K loves all that actually, and always appreciates it. I guess you could say that K is everything I wanted D to be, except I love D more because our history, but I am falling for K. I love D & I seen myself being with him forever and having kids and marriage and everything, since the break up I haven't really thought about all that. I guess what I'm trying to ask is what is everyone's opinions, who do you think I should go with?
nessaaa Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Be with them both... Backup plan.. U need one to pick u up when the other let's u down.
AlexCross Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Who has time to read all this Jersey Shore non sense. Gives me a headache.
nessaaa Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Who has time to read all this Jersey Shore non sense. Gives me a headache. I didn't read it either.. Title says enough. 1
jakelongot Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Seems like D is familiar, that is about it. He had his chance, blew it, now wants you back. K seems like a much better situation... All that being said, you broke up with a guy you were seeing for 6 years and within a couple months not just started a relationship, but moved into a new guy's place. It sounds like you are confused and need to work on yourself first. Find out what you want rather than trying to find hapiness in a man. How old are you? 2
Titanwolf Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 I don't understand, you've already put "k" through bull**** (by your own admission) and now, you want to potentially put him through more?. Why don't you just back to "D" and leave "K" in peace of mind? 1
Author l0veisabattlefield Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 I didn't read it either.. Title says enough. if either of you didn't read it, then why put in your 2 cents? Jersey shore? You obviously don't know what your talking about.. I'm looking for real answers, dating both is out of the question, if you don't have real advice or willing to help someone in need, then don't post your cents in.
Author l0veisabattlefield Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 Seems like D is familiar, that is about it. He had his chance, blew it, now wants you back. K seems like a much better situation... All that being said, you broke up with a guy you were seeing for 6 years and within a couple months not just started a relationship, but moved into a new guy's place. It sounds like you are confused and need to work on yourself first. Find out what you want rather than trying to find hapiness in a man. How old are you? I'm not finding happiness in a man, K is everything that I wanted D to be, and we have been friends for a while. I'm only 20 so it's not a life or death situation I just wanted to know what other people thought about this. But I have thought about how D had his chance, blew it, and didn't want me until he found out I was with K. So I have thought about just telling D I don't trust what he says and just stay with K. I've always wanted to have our place and since I have that with K I have been happy these past couple months without D, but it just hurts because D is a former love of 6 years.
nessaaa Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 if either of you didn't read it, then why put in your 2 cents? Jersey shore? You obviously don't know what your talking about.. I'm looking for real answers, dating both is out of the question, if you don't have real advice or willing to help someone in need, then don't post your cents in. 'person in need' are u waiting for a kidney trasnsplant Or something calm down. That was my real advice. I think every girll should have two men.
SJC2008 Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 If you felt unappreciated with D after 6 years it probably won't change so stick with K. Also I noticed you're marriage minded, great! That being said, when you live with a man out of wedlock the chances of him proposing go down drastically so if you're really marrige minded consider what I just said. Why didn't you give yourself time to heal after the breakup? 6 year R and already living with another man after 2 months of being broken up?
O'farrell Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 You sound like a 14 year old. But the answer is D.
Contrecoeur Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 So you've been "dating" straight since age 14 (what sort of relationship is a 14 year old capable of?) to present, with a small 2 month gap, and now you're living with someone new? Yeah, the obvious answer is neither. Grow up and make yourself capable of an adult relationship before wasting these guys' time. But ironically, because you are so obviously immature, that's probably just what you won't do. Oh well!
jakelongot Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 I'm not finding happiness in a man, K is everything that I wanted D to be, and we have been friends for a while. I'm only 20 so it's not a life or death situation I just wanted to know what other people thought about this. But I have thought about how D had his chance, blew it, and didn't want me until he found out I was with K. So I have thought about just telling D I don't trust what he says and just stay with K. I've always wanted to have our place and since I have that with K I have been happy these past couple months without D, but it just hurts because D is a former love of 6 years. Wow! YOu are a lot younger than I thought. Here is the best advice I can give you. You might dismiss it, but trust me as someone who has a few years on you. You change dramatically as a person from 14-18, 18-22, 22-27, 27-32 and 32+ It is very hard to understand when you are living it and in the middle of things, but you will change so so so much during these different periods of your life. So far you have spent 6 years with the same person during the beginning of your formative years and now have jumped to the next person and are living with him! Regardless of how you feel about either of these people (even if you are madly in love with both) you need to stop and step away. It is literally impossible to know yourself if you've been in a relationship your entire life. You might think that you are different and I don't understand, but I do. Your experience and goals become so tightly intertwined with the person you are with it is hard to distinguish what "your" goals are vs. what "our" goals are. The healthiest thing you can do is walk away and avoid serious relationships for a couple of years. You are so young and have SO much time left to date. However if you don't get off the train now you could be on the tracks to nowhere. Seen it happen before. DOn't be that person. Because one day you will wake up old and with a wedding ring on and wondering what happened to your life. 1
The Way I Am Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 It's only been 3-4 months with the new guy. Of course you're going to get all hot and bothered with him and not the guy you were with for 6 years and have built up resentment toward. Do not go back to D. Not because he doesn't drive you wild from just a kiss, but because you weren't happy in the relationship with him. People often vow to change after they're dumped to get the person back. They rarely actually change. Don't go back unless you want exactly what you had before. That leads me to the biggest issue. Why are you living a guy after only dating him for a couple months? And right after a break-up from a 6 year relationship? What's the hurry? Move out and get your own place or a place with roommates. You need some time alone to discover who you are and what you really want. At least give yourself enough time to get over your last relationship.
runner Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 K whilst simultaneously re-contextualising your relationship with D in a healthy non-romantic way so that you're not constantly going back and forth with him. put him in his place: which is the past.
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