l0veisabattlefield Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Let me start off by saying this is the hardest decision I've ever had to encounter. So there's these two guys, we'll just call them D & K. Well let me start by telling you the two stories of the guys... K: K is an amazing guy. We met at work and he is one of my managers. The first time we hung out he invited me over to his place for this party. We just drank and had a good time, nothing happened. We bonded really great as friends, like best frieed for. Anyways we basically dated for a month in a half & we became officnds and I moved into his place. I would always clean, do laundry, and grocery shop for the place and he always showed me and told me how great full he was for what I have done, you could say he showed me the appreciation I longial July 9th. He always tells me he loves me and cares for me and would do anything for me. He's a guy that's been through a lot. He lost his mom, dad and grandma young, he's lost everybody and he always says since I came into his life things just seem perfect. He says I'm perfect in his eyes, even though I've put him through a lot.. Before we started talking but I knew he liked me, I kissed a few of his friends when I was intoxicated and he just subsided all that, but I have put him through a lot of bull**** and I could see he's serious about me. Even though it's only been maybe 3 or 4 months, things have gotten serious and we have already been through a lot. I love the fact that we live together and I love cleaning and caring for him. It's a new love, but I have fallen for this guy hard. The sex is amazing also, every time he kisses me I get all hot & wired up I always want to pleasure him or we just end up going a few rounds. Now you're probably wondering "Well pick K OBVIOUSLY!" But,, here's D.. D: D and I have dated in the past, we actually broke up May 4th after dating for 6 years. We broke up because I felt unappreciated and told him many times I was unhappy and he subsided my feelings for so long, I finally ended it. While we were broken up is when I started hanging out with K. Anyways, D was texting and messaging me saying he missed me, and loves me, and I'm the girl he sees himself with and he hates himself for losing me. Well I am still in love with D & I don't think I will stop or feelings will stop for a long time, we have been together through thick and thin and I don't know if he's as serious as he says he is. I don't want to put myself through that hurt again and lose K. When me and D kiss it's passionate, but it doesn't get me as hot and wired up as I am with K, But when I'm with D it's different, it feels like old times and I never wanna leave but with K I'm more independent and I like that, I like being able to do what I want to do and sometimes I think D wants to control me and make me stay. I have wanted to get my own place with D for a long time and he never saves or makes the effort. He's always attatched to his mom and that's okay sometimes, but I want a man who can just let me do all the cleaning, and cooking, and laundry. I'm a girl who loves to care for my man and I enjoy doing all that. K loves all that actually, and always appreciates it. I guess you could say that K is everything I wanted D to be, except I love D more because our history, but I am falling for K. I love D & I seen myself being with him forever and having kids and marriage and everything, since the break up I haven't really thought about all that. I guess what I'm trying to ask is what is everyone's opinions, who do you think I should go with?
pteromom Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 I think you should go with K. You say about D: We broke up because I felt unappreciated and told him many times I was unhappy sometimes I think D wants to control me and make me stay. I have wanted to get my own place with D for a long time and he never saves or makes the effort. D didn't make an effort. He didn't give you what you needed. He doesn't make you as "hot". Basically he's just an old comfortable pair of shoes. Being with him, you know all your problems and fears, and there's something comfortable in that. BUT - You have found a guy who seems really great. He is forgiving of you, is appreciative of you, and shows you affection. Now, though, it is time to grow up if you really want this relationship. If you kiss friends when intoxicated, then don't drink! If you've put him through a lot of BS, then stop it. Show him the same appreciation and respect he shows you. Let D go. You let him go the first time for a reason. 1
Author l0veisabattlefield Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 I think you should go with K. You say about D: D didn't make an effort. He didn't give you what you needed. He doesn't make you as "hot". Basically he's just an old comfortable pair of shoes. Being with him, you know all your problems and fears, and there's something comfortable in that. BUT - You have found a guy who seems really great. He is forgiving of you, is appreciative of you, and shows you affection. Now, though, it is time to grow up if you really want this relationship. If you kiss friends when intoxicated, then don't drink! If you've put him through a lot of BS, then stop it. Show him the same appreciation and respect he shows you. Let D go. You let him go the first time for a reason. That's exactly what I was thinking.. D didn't try and put the effort until he found out I was with K. I have always wanted a grown up relationship and with K he gives me that & so much more. For the intoxication part that was when we weren't together I should have specified that, but since then I haven't been that way drunk. I was honestly thinking just letting D go but it's hard because I really do love him, and I feel stupid for loving him when he didn't show me what I needed, and now I have this amazing guy that does and Idk why but I'm torn between them. K is a new love and D is a comfy love I guess............ So you think I should stay with K?
Later82012 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 ......I kissed a few of his friends..... That would eventually come back to haunt your relationship. 'K' will eventually let go of you. I don't think any guy would be serious about a girl that kissed his friends. Even if he doesn't let go of you, you will sooner or later lose respect for him and start looking for someone else.
pteromom Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 I feel stupid for loving him when he didn't show me what I needed, and now I have this amazing guy that does and Idk why but I'm torn between them. K is a new love and D is a comfy love I guess............ So you think I should stay with K? I do, just going by what you've shared here. It's ok to keep loving D. You can love him forever. He was a big part of your life, and contributed a lot to who you are. As time goes on, any romantic love you still feel will fade to a grateful warmth when you think of him.
FitChick Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 You like D because he is familiar and you have a history. Stay with K long enough and you will have familiarity and history, too, as well as all of his other wonderful qualities. I'd choose K.
ThingsAreComplicated Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 several contradictions. I really wouldn't want to be "K"... 1
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