TDash Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 This is killing me. I need to STOP looking at my ex-girlfriend's Facebook, but I keep convincing myself not to out of this idiotic irrational fear of different things. How do I stop looking at her Facebook? How do I 'delete' everything about her from my life? How did you do it? Thoughts, tips and advice is much appreciated...
shayla Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 I blocked my ex and the other woman, they could no longer see me, and I could not see them. It's been over a year and I still have them blocked. I like it that way. 1
Tree_Salmon Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 It's as simple as blocking them. Forget they exist for a while. At least until you can deal with it.
Breck Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 This is killing me. I need to STOP looking at my ex-girlfriend's Facebook, but I keep convincing myself not to out of this idiotic irrational fear of different things. How do I stop looking at her Facebook? How do I 'delete' everything about her from my life? How did you do it? Thoughts, tips and advice is much appreciated... Last time I checked it's football season. Is she posting updated scores? Visit ESPN. It's way better!
BrokenAnna Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 This is killing me. I need to STOP looking at my ex-girlfriend's Facebook, but I keep convincing myself not to out of this idiotic irrational fear of different things. How do I stop looking at her Facebook? How do I 'delete' everything about her from my life? How did you do it? Thoughts, tips and advice is much appreciated... When I broke up with my ex it was a lot easier to block and ignore him as I felt in power, but the tables quickly turned as he started moving on and I was left behind to pick up the pieces. To think in 2008 he said there might be a day that we will be strangers again, never would've thought that it would actually happen and by my own doing Anyhow the sooner you stay clear from her facebook and any other profiles, the faster you will move on.
Future7 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 I am in the same boat. Although it is hard it is getting easier for me to not look. I wouldn't defriend her because I still want to see how she is and such because I care. THATS me personally. What you want to do though is just focus on your news feed but just stay away from FB. Go on her profile and change the type of friends you are so you have limited updates. Its working for me already.
Reegs Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Hmm...for me....I deactivated my FB altogether. I know this wont work for everyone...but I couldnt pull myself away from the website, and her page. Just the colors of the FB page reminded me of her. It was awful. When I was off of FB...I realized how much I hated it in general. I have never turned it back on. I have been off of FB for a full year..and will never go back. If you want to stay on the site....the ONLY way your going to stay away from her page is if you block and delete. The temptation is too strong otherwise...in my opinion. Sorry your going through this...GOOD LUCK! 6
Reegs Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Additionally...understand that FB shows the "best" of someone. No normal person is going to put anything up on their pages showing how bad they look...or how much of hard time they are having. Every picture is screened by the person, so you know they will look their best. People comment about how much fun they had, doing this or that, etc... FB pages, for the most part, show people in their best light. The person can make sure of it. If you know and understand this, why go out of your way to look at it? Its gonna make you mad, upset, and pissed off they arent having all these good times with you. Plus seeing her right now is not is whats needed. 4
big bear Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 I did not block her/delete her for a long time. Then one day someone tagged her in an outing with her colleagues. It just pinchd somewhere. And I though if just her having fun and me not being there bothers me, what would happen if she posts something with a/the (Don't know at gradually won't care) new guy. And after that I deleted her. Did not block her. Promised myself the day I open her profile now, it would be the day I block her. And from then on, smooth sailing.
BrokenAnna Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Additionally...understand that FB shows the "best" of someone. No normal person is going to put anything up on their pages showing how bad they look...or how much of hard time they are having. Every picture is screened by the person, so you know they will look their best. People comment about how much fun they had, doing this or that, etc... FB pages, for the most part, show people in their best light. The person can make sure of it. If you know and understand this, why go out of your way to look at it? Its gonna make you mad, upset, and pissed off they arent having all these good times with you. Plus seeing her right now is not is whats needed. This is so true!!
lovejoy41 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 (edited) @ Reegs AMEN to that! I had to shut it down and get that under control. I would deactivate my account and then go back on to look at my ex fwb's now live-in gf. Facebook is where I saw all of the pics of him and her, pics in front of his car, & all of the posts about where they were going together. That is where I was getting all of my information about him and her& that information is what I used to confront him about her. It became addictive. The sad part about it is that when I stayed off for a bit then went back on, I would see something that hurt me worse each time I went back. I definitely don't have that problem anymore after what I last saw. I shut my account down again & it's final. I haven't been on there in about a month or so& I won't be going back. smh Trust me, when you get enough of having your heart ripped out from going on there and looking at an ex and/or their new gf or bf you quickly learn how to break that addiction. Nothing good comes from that. If you can't control staying off, I think it would be best to block them altogether. It's really a matter of what you want. Do you want to heal or continue to hurt? Hang in there T Dash, I understand what you're going through. Fight that fear! Edited August 14, 2012 by lovejoy41 1
SoulSearcher22 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Gotta block them man...After my ex (I was the rebound) went back to her ex after our 4 month intense relationship, I, of course looked at her profile. One day a lil while after the breakup, I saw where she commented on his picture saying "mine ;)". Destroyed me inside. Couldn't stand him or her after that. Had to block them. Comments like that will kill you on the inside. 1
Art_Critic Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Seriously... You unfriend her first and foremost and then you block her.. done.... 1
SoConfusedAndInShock Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 i just deleted mine in general both Facebook and twitter that way no mess no fuss & no more torturing myself. u can say i fell off the earth just like he did. 1
Author TDash Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 So many great replies in here. I appreciate it so much. I would delete my Facebook, but I keep up with family (long distance) and old friends that way... I blocked her, however... It's just, I KEEP thinking about all the great times we had, the best times, and I get sick at my stomach at the words 'letting go'.
SleeplessRomantic Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 So many great replies in here. I appreciate it so much. I would delete my Facebook, but I keep up with family (long distance) and old friends that way... I blocked her, however... It's just, I KEEP thinking about all the great times we had, the best times, and I get sick at my stomach at the words 'letting go'. Letting go, really, is your only option to move forward. No need to keep yourself locked inside this giant quagmire of brutalizing yourself (unless you're a masochist). You'll never move forward that way.
Kamille Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 I eventually realized that I always felt worse after looking at his facebook. Whenever the urge got a hold of me, I would remember how I had felt after the last time. Sometimes it didn't work to dissuade me, other times it did. Over time, it became easier and easier to talk myself out of doing something that would only bring me pain. 3
Squidoo Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 I didn't want to delete my ex from Facebook either or deactivate my account. So I got my mum to change the password and not tell me what she had changed it too. This way it stopped the constant need to check, and if anybody did contact me on there, whether it be the ex or another friend then I would get notifications through my phone. It's worked well for me, on several occasions my ex has sent me an email on fb and I can do nothing about it or make a hasty response until I see my mum next.
Almond_Joy Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Honestly, I don't think there's a standardized way to do this. Yeah the mechanics of it are straightforward but if it's become an obsessive or compulsory habit for you to check her FB, you may unblock her later just to feed the habit. I stopped checking my ex's FB when I realized all I was doing was watching them get on with their life without me. My life 9romatnically speaking) wasn't going anywhere, in the meantime, and it just made me feel more miserable to see a reminder that they weren't with me. I hope since you blocked her that will be enough for you, but if it turns out it isn't just give it some time. It may be a while - took me about 4 months.
Almond_Joy Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I didn't want to delete my ex from Facebook either or deactivate my account. So I got my mum to change the password and not tell me what she had changed it too. This way it stopped the constant need to check, and if anybody did contact me on there, whether it be the ex or another friend then I would get notifications through my phone. It's worked well for me, on several occasions my ex has sent me an email on fb and I can do nothing about it or make a hasty response until I see my mum next. This is also a good strategy, I was going to recommend that first but figured those are drastic measures and it doesn't sound like he's there yet. But yeah if you can't stop yourself from checking get a friend or other loved one to change your FB password or deactivate your account until you don't feel the need to check anymore.
cheekysmiles Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 for the first 2 weeks, i couldn't stop checking 3rd week, i unsubscribed to her updates and avoided commenting/liking anything she already had participated in 4th week i deactivated all social media for 7 days and blocked the websites altogether. i spent this time exercising a lot and reading a lot of self help material. at the end of the 7 day social networking hiatus, i finally reactivated and blocked her from everything around 5-6th week i felt strong enough to unblock and purposely checked up just to cause some shocks to my psyche and fully desensitize. 1.5 months after BU, i feel solid but i'm sure seeing her in person will stir up some inner strife. it was definitely a battle to make it to this point but i feel amazing having done it summon the strength to do it and you'll thank yourself when you've healed. there's no greater feeling than being in 100% control of your head again 1
g450 Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Tdash, just block her. Turn off your computer and stay offline. Go out and meet people in the real world. Dont become one of those kinds of people that live online, not even on LS. Too many people here let social media replace a real life. Dont be "that guy".
not-a-drive-by Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 My ex (dumper) made it easy for me. He just deactivated his FB. Not sure what he was avoiding? We both don't use it much. To save the job from changing his status from "being in a relationship" to "being single"?
Jingle14 Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Hmm...for me....I deactivated my FB altogether. I know this wont work for everyone...but I couldnt pull myself away from the website, and her page. Just the colors of the FB page reminded me of her. It was awful. When I was off of FB...I realized how much I hated it in general. I have never turned it back on. I have been off of FB for a full year..and will never go back. If you want to stay on the site....the ONLY way your going to stay away from her page is if you block and delete. The temptation is too strong otherwise...in my opinion. Sorry your going through this...GOOD LUCK! This is exactly what I did and for similar reasons but mainly because I found out 'he' had unfriended me while we were actually still supposed to be 'real' friends - in fact, he'd had dinner at my home with promises to meet up after he got back from holiday 2 weeks later. Looking on my own profile later that night, I realised he had cut me out. Straight away, I deactivated my account as I was so hurt. I reactivated it about 8 months later but not once, ever, have I been tempted to go anywhere near his page as I know I couldn't face what I might see - and he replaced me fairly quickly after our split, despite saying 'there won't be another girlfriend, I plan on staying single for a long time'. Liar (but then he always had difficulty with the truth). My own instinct for self protection stop me.
Author TDash Posted December 3, 2012 Author Posted December 3, 2012 Update: I was doing fine until the past week. Then I made a grave mistake and checked her page. Does "second or third worst feeling of all-time" describe this correctly? Not again. No. I just deactivated my Facebook. The instant pain I felt isn't worth it. I have zero need for that site right now. I'll return one day to FB, but I just ruined every last bit of my healing. December, Christmas time... is there a worse time to screw up? I don't think so. I need all the support I can get...
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