Coffee20 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 (edited) I know I should be long time over my past relationship but it seems to me like I can't. I can't get over the impression my ex gave about me to my classmates, to his family and people around. I told him my secrets and things I didn't tell before to anyone else. All he did he cut some of them from the whole truth and told about me some bad things to make him feel like the victim although it was him who put me constantly down and didn't want to even spend time with me at all. Even during our relationship he was telling about me only bad or weird things to his family (for example I told him that I was physical abused and then I was depressed and it was a long and hard way to get over it, but I was OK now, I asked not to tell anyone and told him, he was the first person I had ever told, instead of his support, he just told "hm", and then told his mum I was a depressed girl, though I didn't feel depressed at all - so she told him it was up to him whether he wanted to date such a girl , later he used this situation sometimes to make me feel bad, like he told me I was weak that I could handle that physical abuse better etc...). After BU he called me whore, he picked up one of my classmate and told that we were cheating probably (though it wasn't true, we just sat in the classroom only and talked only at school about school stuff). I know I should not care what people around me think. People sometimes make fun of me, it's either about me being stupid to be with him and behaving like a dog or me cheated on him. But every day for the last two weeks, maybe more, I just break down and cry. I thought I had been slowly becoming better and I forgave him but now it got worse. Edited August 16, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author Coffee20 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 so many views and no reply I just needed some supportive words
lovehurts82 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Hey there. I'd be curious to know how long the two of you were together and how long it has been since you broke up. Even beyond that, though, know that it takes different people different amounts of time to be able to cope with and heal after breakups. It sounds to me like he was very verbally and psychologically/mentally abusive and perhaps a lot of your sorrow stems from that? In the end though, you said it right. The thoughts and opinions of others don't matter. You are what matters at this point. Take care of yourself, find the things that make you happy again and give yourself some TLC. I am a firm believe in karma and know that he'll get his one day.
stemac Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 hello coffee it takes a long time to heal from a broken relationship and what you said about him hes not worth your tears, some people never stop to think how much pain they are causing, Keep your Chin up you will be fine :-) 1
Author Coffee20 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 (edited) hello coffee it takes a long time to heal from a broken relationship and what you said about him hes not worth your tears, some people never stop to think how much pain they are causing, Keep your Chin up you will be fine :-) hello, thank you a lot for your reply, I just have bad days Edited August 16, 2012 by Coffee20
mgce Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Coffee, You clearly will be *much* better off without this person. Everything you're saying suggests your life will be better without him, as you learn to believe more in yourself and not allow people in your life that do such mean things. I have great hope for your long-term future. But two weeks is very little time and you need to allow that you're sad and down and will continue to be for a long time. Cry as much as you need, and try not to be surprised if you cry again even after you thought you were getting better. Getting better is an agonizingly slow process with so many stumbles and low points along the way. So don't feel like you *need* to stop being sad now. It's okay to be sad, it means you're a human with a heart. That's amazing! But it's also nice to realize, in between sobs, just how silly this is going to seem six months from now and how exciting your life is really going to be one day, even if you don't know when. (2+ months recovery myself and still sad, but more excited every day)
SoConfusedAndInShock Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 now aren't we all now? you're so not alone Coffee, so take comfort in that. even after the war, there are scars to remind us of whats been and only over time will that scare heal.
Author Coffee20 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 thank you so much, I know you all feel pain, now I slowly realized that it was mistake to be with him and I am really angry with myself
mgce Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Try not to be angry with yourself (although I know you won't always succeed). This is how we live and grow: making mistakes, even big ones, even huge ones, and learning from them and becoming a better person from what we've learned. The most amazing people in this world became amazing because they made so many mistakes, but learned from them and learned how to be better in the future. That's how you know you're *living*, when you make mistakes. And that's how you know you're *growing*, when you finally realize and correct them. This is why your future will be so great one day.
reimeivn Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 My ex did that too. Unfortunately that is the risk that you have to take while opening your heart to somebody who is not a good person. It happens too often sometimes. I hope that you will see in the long term that people will get to know you from you, and something he says won't matter if truly you are an amazing person. And trust me you are.
Author Coffee20 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 hello thank you both for your reply, I really hope it will be over soon. I am very confused about myself since the BU. thank you a lot!
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