Tree_Salmon Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 So it's been 2 weeks since she tried to have sex with me and cheat on her current rebound relationship... recap: I dumped her after 5.5 years. I loved her. Went NC. After a long period of NC and then limited contact, we met up and she told me she loved me/wanted to make it work and she hated her current boyfriend. I refused to have sex with her until she was officially single and she said she would make this happen. She took it all back the next day and said she couldnt leave the life shes in now with her current boyfriend who she "loves". "i do love him after all" she said. But it all sounds like bull. People here seem to think I'll hear from her again. I have blocked every avenue of communication and she always finds a new way. But I simply don't feel she will get in touch this time. Maybe im wrong. In any case, I've been thinking about her these past few days. Missing her also. I didn't think this would happen but it has. Nothing like it was a while back but I still have feelings for her. I've turned down a few more girls and cant seem to want sex from any of them. I'm wondering if this is because i still love her or I just don't want to get emotionally attached to anyone else. thoughts?
RogerWallace111 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Hard to say... Only you would know. I'm 2.5 months nc, and in theory would be really down to have a female to hang with, f*ck, and have a casual relationship. Yet when I'm out and around girls I'm still not in a mackin, flirtatious mood, and it doesn't feel like I should be necessarily. It's probably partially that you still love her and partially that you aren't ready to open yourself up. Hard to differentiate. For me I'd say it's more not being ready to open myself up. I feel like my love for her has kind of "leveled off", to a kind of wistful memory, and will probably linger like that indefinitely. Like a close friend you've lost touch with.
Mike_d Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 good for you for not caving to the sex breadcrumb, she tried to control you and played the big card. It's normal to be conflicted right now, want sex but not want it from anybody else other than the person you can't get it from. I'm in the same boat, just trying to roll with it. It'll pass, just keep doing a great job 1
youngnlove89 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 It's a long time to be with someone and then to have to try to forget about them. It isn't easy and it won't be easy. You will have temptations. You spent FIVE years with her. But if she really loved you, do you think she would stay with this new guy? No. Of course she misses you, you guys have a lot of time behind you, she misses what is familiar, what was comfortable. Keep sticking to whatever you feel is best for you. If that is no contact, then great, or if it is trying to make things work, then do it. But do what is better in the long run, not at this moment. She is tugging at your heart strings. The moment you went no contact she lost her power. She wanted it back, is all.
Author Tree_Salmon Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 Hard to say... Only you would know. I'm 2.5 months nc, and in theory would be really down to have a female to hang with, f*ck, and have a casual relationship. Yet when I'm out and around girls I'm still not in a mackin, flirtatious mood, and it doesn't feel like I should be necessarily. It's probably partially that you still love her and partially that you aren't ready to open yourself up. Hard to differentiate. For me I'd say it's more not being ready to open myself up. I feel like my love for her has kind of "leveled off", to a kind of wistful memory, and will probably linger like that indefinitely. Like a close friend you've lost touch with. I think I'm almost there. I haven't leveled off quite yet but its coming. I also think I am trying to stay a bit closed off but also it doesn't seem like there's anything worth opening up for.
Author Tree_Salmon Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 It's a long time to be with someone and then to have to try to forget about them. It isn't easy and it won't be easy. You will have temptations. You spent FIVE years with her. But if she really loved you, do you think she would stay with this new guy? No. Of course she misses you, you guys have a lot of time behind you, she misses what is familiar, what was comfortable. Keep sticking to whatever you feel is best for you. If that is no contact, then great, or if it is trying to make things work, then do it. But do what is better in the long run, not at this moment. She is tugging at your heart strings. The moment you went no contact she lost her power. She wanted it back, is all. I agree, its best to just do what you feel is right. Some people scream NC all the time. I'm sure it'll work for some people but I can't go against what I think is the best choice for me. Breaking NC was so important and I'm glad i've done it every time. I feel no need to break it now.
youngnlove89 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 I agree, its best to just do what you feel is right. Some people scream NC all the time. I'm sure it'll work for some people but I can't go against what I think is the best choice for me. Breaking NC was so important and I'm glad i've done it every time. I feel no need to break it now. Yea, for some NC is there way of closure, of moving. For others, saying what you feel when you feel it, is their way of closure. No one is right or wrong. We have to do what is best for us. No option is easy.
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