Heading towards meltdown

[Bigbopper]

Hi everyone. Now I havent posted on here for over a year, because its been a crazy time and now ive really hit rock bottom and need some support..this is a long story, so bear with me...

 

I split up with my sons mum 2 years ago, and at the beginning of this year started dating again. A few dates started building my confidence and before long I met someone who changed my life.

 

She is amazing and from the first fate I knew she was special. We dated for a bit and then she vanished, literally no contact at all. I didnt know what id done wrong, but luckily I wasnt TOO emotionally attached so gradually got over it and dated a couple of other girls, all the while thinking she was the one that got away, and I missed her terribly.

 

A couple of months passed and out of the blue she emailed me, saying she was sorry for vanishing, she needed to get her head together as she wasnt ready for me, and she was going to a concert I was performing at, so maybe we would hook up. I was stunned, excited and thrilled by her contact, and duly reminded her of my number and said it would be great to see her.

 

At the concert, lo and behold she texted me, and we met up, chatted, then shared the most amazing kiss, where we both stood back and said "wow".

 

What happened next was a whirlwind.

 

She texted me the next day and asked me over. Then the next day, and the next. We soon realised we were falling in love and I moved in with her, where we both agreed that this is it. We were madly in love and wanted a future together. Soon followed marriage talk, and I went and put a deposit on a ring (We are happy to have a long engagement-and I havent yet proposed) . She was the most loving, caring, beautiful woman I could ask for and I was so happy.

 

Every day was a joy, every evening was bliss, and every night was filled with love. Finally I had met the one. We met each others family and friends and got on great, and she even met and got on really well with my son (nobody has EVER met him, as im very careful about this).

 

THEN, one evening, we discover she is pregnant.

 

As scary as this is, we both agreed that as our future lies together, and we will be together forever, its ok, and we will continue with the pregnancy.

 

She then went away with friends (booked long before we were together) and whilst we maintained contact, it was obviously a very hard time being apart. But when she came back (Last week), the sickness started.

 

She wouldnt accept my affection, my touches, my kisses. Everything I tried was shot down in a fit of "Im going to throw up" and as much as I told myself its hormones, it still hurt like hell, so I started arguing back with comments like "how come you dont want me any more etc".

 

EVERY day since we have argued and argued, and we are both stubborn so go round in circles.

 

Then Saturday it came to a head: We were due to go to a function together in the afternoon and she was sick in the morning. While I was tidying, cleaning etc she slept and eventually emerged but went outside and sat in the car. I went out to see her and she snapped back with how "we dont need to be joined at the hip etc". After really shouting at her about how she should want to spend time with her boyfriend, I slammed her car door, slammed the house door and she drove off in floods or tears.

 

That evening I went to the function and called her. we chatted, apologised and she said if she feels better she will come over later. Later came, and there was no word from her, so I texted. "No, im having dinner with my friend now". So I was annoyed as she was due to go away again for this week, so I responded with "I thought if you were better you were coming here??" but she said that space was needed, and she would see me later.

 

I returned home to her in bed. I asked about her evening and she said she had a great evening with such venom, I knew it was an "up yours" to me, which made me snap. We rowed BIG TIME about all of the previous non affection etc, and anything else I could think of throwing at her.

I then said I was leaving. She said "dont be ridiculous" but after we rowed for a bit longer, she said "I think you should go". I refused, and she packed her bag and left. I stood in the door way, but she left anyway and as she passed me I hissed "I will NEVER forgive you for this". She said she would be back Monday.

 

As soon as she left I hit breaking point and threw up in tears until the early hours. I got a fairly harsh text from her friend, saying leave her be, she needs space. At this point I considered suicide.

 

I went to my parents on Sunday, and they were very supportive, saying she will come round etc etc. Sunday evening I texted her friend saying I hope I havent blown it, I love her etc, and I got a response saying how she was distraught, very emotional, confused, and cant forget what I did. I said I was terrified it was too late and she said it may be, and if so, I will have to deal with it. As you can imagine, this tipped me over the edge, and again, suicide seemed the only option. I texted her goodnight, and how much I love her, and cried myself to sleep.

 

I went to work on Monday, and battled through the day, hoping she would be at home after work. I pulled up outside our house, and she wasnt there. I decided to pop round to see her Sis-in-law as I get on well with her and she knew about the rows, and to my shock my gfs car was there. I ummed and arred about going in, then bit the bullet and went in.

 

I have never seen so much hatred in someones face before. My GF simply said "I want you to go, I asked you to give me space and you still havent done it". I said that I have given her space since Saturday, and she said "but you have texted me", which I didnt realise wasnt allowed and when I tried to apologise etc, she didnt want to hear it, and kept saying go. I said to her s.i.l. what do I do, and she said "sorry, but I think you HAVE to do what she has asked, she needs space". In floods of tears I left, and am now back at my parents, not wanting my life to continue without her and my unborn child.

 

They keep saying "She will remember how happy you make her and you will be fine. Give her the space she needs and she will come round, its the hormones etc" but I honestly dont know if she will.

 

I love this woman so much, and up until recently she said the same to me, but I cant help feeling that this red mist that has masked her love for me is here to stay. To make matters worse we have a week of days away AND our first hospital appt next week, so what do I do if she hasnt contacted me by then?!

 

Please help, I have never felt so alone.

 

Thankyou.

[google_girl]

The way i see there are few things you are taking personally,also lack of communication from both side.

Her not being affectionate with you was because of pregnancy and you should have backed off and give her space instead of it you got angry and revengeful which pushed her away further.

On her side she should have communicate her feelings that she loves u but not in condition to express it as she is not feeling good.

You guys have messed up.You need to give her space and apologize for your behavior.

Put yourself in her shoes.She is pregnant and there is this guy angry ,demanding and getting violent when she is not in even state of defending herself because of pregnancy.I wud have run away too.

You need to act supportive and protective around her if she decides to come back.Also after birth of child ,infact since pregnancy your needs are not going to be most important thing for her.Its going to be her health and unborn child.Get used it now.

Good luck!

[Mcnulty]

The emotions of being pregnant have really hit her hard it seems.

 

You need to step away from her, leave her be.

 

She's in emotional turmoil. I would say the time when you fought and you said you would go, then refused, leaving her upset and with child was a bit immature. You should have left and let her be.

 

Going to her sister in laws and walking in when you knew she was there, was once again, invading her space. I totally understand your frustration and hurt, but the more you push, the further she will pull away.

[Hawaii50]

People don't see how they affect situations.

 

If I walk up to smiling and say something nice energy is fine..

If I walk up angry looking and say something angry energy is bad...

 

Can you not see how your prose is affecting her?! I blame you only because she is preggers and going through an enormous amount on many different levels. I blame you only because I read how selfishly you're accusing her. She's sick, throwing up, you say "How come you don't want me anymore".. Did she SAY that?

 

She's feeling a million things that anyone with a penis will fall short of understanding. And you're not helping the situation at all.. A smart understanding person would have already been planning how to actually help and not find out at the moment why you can't touch her like you want. That's selfish..

 

Lastly.. you obviously have no idea that every single metaphorical ounce of stress you cause her effects that baby and it's development. back off, stop being selfish. for the love of your unborn child.

[Hawaii50]

Space is space.. is also metaphorical. doesn't mean geographical space, and i'm sorry you need this explained. she doesn't want a single thing to do with you until she figured whatever out. that does include texts, phone calls, emails, regular mail, tweets, posts, dove-messengers, sky-writing, and yes.. geographical space. when she needs/wants you, then be there. but not a moment sooner.

[Doushiyou]

I'm sorry that you're going through such a horrible time right now. But I'm also sorry to say that I'm not someone qualified to give you so much advice. I've observed relationships of friends in the past and have seen a pretty awful breakup, but nonthing like this.

 

I will give you some of my opinions, but please don't take anything to heart. You have to use your own head when deciding what you should do or what's wrong. Anyone could give you a flood of opinions, but it doesn't always make them right.

 

I will be giving you some serious opinions to think about. My opinions aren't so filled with hope for the situation and so if you think that you can't stomach my opinions then don't read any further. If you think you can handle them though, then please read on. I want to help you out in identifying the possible cause behind your girlfriend's behavior if I can. But like I said earlier, these are just some opinions... or guesses if you will.

 

Firstly, I feel like this isn't going to get any better. I've heard of the jitters before, but this sounds really serious. I think that if you want to make this better, then you should firstly try identifying the cause of your girlfriend's sudden change. Though, if you do end up in identifying the problem, there's still the chance that you won't be able to help the situation anywya.

 

If your positive that you two were both on the same page throughout your relationship together and that she was as happy as you were in the relationship, then I can't understand why she's reacting the way she's reacting now. So first of all, I think you should be honest with yourself and dig deep. Was she as happy being in the relationship with you as you were with her? Sometimes people are blinded by love and so they don't see the signs of a diminishing relationship or the signs of unhappiness in their partner.

 

Second, does she have any history of mental illness? If this sudden reaction to being tied down has driven her to such a state, I wonder if maybe a mental illness is involved. I have a friend who has serious depression problems and being in a serious relationship is one thing she's afraid of and yet when she gets into a relationship, she can't let go of it though she continues to insist it isn't serious.

 

Third, is the baby yours? You don't think she cheated on you do you? She might be feeling guilty about a fling she had with someone else that lead to the baby. If this was the case, then I could understand why she would feel sick everytime you touched or made a sexual advance on her. The guilt would be eating at her. Usually women start avoiding sexual advances from their partners after they've started thinking about someone else.

[Bigbopper]

The way i see there are few things you are taking personally,also lack of communication from both side.

Her not being affectionate with you was because of pregnancy and you should have backed off and give her space instead of it you got angry and revengeful which pushed her away further.

On her side she should have communicate her feelings that she loves u but not in condition to express it as she is not feeling good.

You guys have messed up.You need to give her space and apologize for your behavior.

Put yourself in her shoes.She is pregnant and there is this guy angry ,demanding and getting violent when she is not in even state of defending herself because of pregnancy.I wud have run away too.

You need to act supportive and protective around her if she decides to come back.Also after birth of child ,infact since pregnancy your needs are not going to be most important thing for her.Its going to be her health and unborn child.Get used it now.

Good luck!

 

I was being protective, maybe TOO much, I was doing everything round the house, running to the shop everytime she needed something, and literally doing everything I could to make her happy. Maybe I suffocated her?

 

To be fair, she did say that she loves me, but couldnt cope with certain things right now, and in my selfishness I reacted badly, but I never got violent. I wouldnt dream of doing that.

 

I am fully aware that her needs come first, and given another chance I would prove this. I have spoken to people since she left and they have given me some harsh realities which has really woken me up.

[Bigbopper]

People don't see how they affect situations.

 

If I walk up to smiling and say something nice energy is fine..

If I walk up angry looking and say something angry energy is bad...

 

Can you not see how your prose is affecting her?! I blame you only because she is preggers and going through an enormous amount on many different levels. I blame you only because I read how selfishly you're accusing her. She's sick, throwing up, you say "How come you don't want me anymore".. Did she SAY that?

 

She's feeling a million things that anyone with a penis will fall short of understanding. And you're not helping the situation at all.. A smart understanding person would have already been planning how to actually help and not find out at the moment why you can't touch her like you want. That's selfish..

 

Lastly.. you obviously have no idea that every single metaphorical ounce of stress you cause her effects that baby and it's development. back off, stop being selfish. for the love of your unborn child.

 

No, she never said that she didnt want me. I was truly selfish and I regret it so much. I am more aware than anything about the babies development, but I was a bit naive to how much hormones could affect her. I took everything personally and didnt just let it wash over me.

 

I have backed off, and 24 hours after NC I am going crazy. I havent eaten or drunk, I feel sick, and I miss her so much. I just want to contact her, but am guessing it will make matters worse.

 

In these situations, does the girl EVER make contact and everything turns out ok??

 

Im so miserable, I just want another chance. Please realise I am an honest, caring, loving man, who wants to be the best husband/father I can be.

[Bigbopper]

I'm sorry that you're going through such a horrible time right now. But I'm also sorry to say that I'm not someone qualified to give you so much advice. I've observed relationships of friends in the past and have seen a pretty awful breakup, but nonthing like this.

 

I will give you some of my opinions, but please don't take anything to heart. You have to use your own head when deciding what you should do or what's wrong. Anyone could give you a flood of opinions, but it doesn't always make them right.

 

I will be giving you some serious opinions to think about. My opinions aren't so filled with hope for the situation and so if you think that you can't stomach my opinions then don't read any further. If you think you can handle them though, then please read on. I want to help you out in identifying the possible cause behind your girlfriend's behavior if I can. But like I said earlier, these are just some opinions... or guesses if you will.

 

Firstly, I feel like this isn't going to get any better. I've heard of the jitters before, but this sounds really serious. I think that if you want to make this better, then you should firstly try identifying the cause of your girlfriend's sudden change. Though, if you do end up in identifying the problem, there's still the chance that you won't be able to help the situation anywya.

 

If your positive that you two were both on the same page throughout your relationship together and that she was as happy as you were in the relationship, then I can't understand why she's reacting the way she's reacting now. So first of all, I think you should be honest with yourself and dig deep. Was she as happy being in the relationship with you as you were with her? Sometimes people are blinded by love and so they don't see the signs of a diminishing relationship or the signs of unhappiness in their partner.

 

Second, does she have any history of mental illness? If this sudden reaction to being tied down has driven her to such a state, I wonder if maybe a mental illness is involved. I have a friend who has serious depression problems and being in a serious relationship is one thing she's afraid of and yet when she gets into a relationship, she can't let go of it though she continues to insist it isn't serious.

 

Third, is the baby yours? You don't think she cheated on you do you? She might be feeling guilty about a fling she had with someone else that lead to the baby. If this was the case, then I could understand why she would feel sick everytime you touched or made a sexual advance on her. The guilt would be eating at her. Usually women start avoiding sexual advances from their partners after they've started thinking about someone else.

 

Yes, were on the same page. Trust me, she was as positive, if not more so, than me that we were forever.

 

No, she is level headed, a teacher, a great friend and is commited to whatever she puts her mind to.

 

Yes, the baby is mine. I would be impressed if she found the time to sleep with someone else in the time we have been together, we were barely out of each others sight!!

 

The behaviour is down to the pregnancy, but I need help on how to make things right now...

[KatZee]

People don't see how they affect situations.

 

If I walk up to smiling and say something nice energy is fine..

If I walk up angry looking and say something angry energy is bad...

 

Can you not see how your prose is affecting her?! I blame you only because she is preggers and going through an enormous amount on many different levels. I blame you only because I read how selfishly you're accusing her. She's sick, throwing up, you say "How come you don't want me anymore".. Did she SAY that?

 

She's feeling a million things that anyone with a penis will fall short of understanding. And you're not helping the situation at all.. A smart understanding person would have already been planning how to actually help and not find out at the moment why you can't touch her like you want. That's selfish..

 

Lastly.. you obviously have no idea that every single metaphorical ounce of stress you cause her effects that baby and it's development. back off, stop being selfish. for the love of your unborn child.

 

I have to agree with this. I saw so many red flags from your own behavior OP. She's pregnant and having horrible morning sickness, and the only thing you can think of to say is, "Why don't you want me?"

 

You seem INCREDIBLY co-dependent, and I can see that you were spending every single waking second with her. This becomes INCREDIBLY suffocating, and when a person requests space, that means GIVE THEM SPACE. That doesn't mean continue to go at them, make them feel guilty for not spending time with you, and then contemplating suicide when she asks for space again.

 

She needs support from a man, not a clingy, needy, child. I'm not quite sure if you understand what happens to a woman when they become pregnant. Hormones are ALL over the place. A woman will be depressed, angry, distant, all of these things all at once. She's not going to be on her knees ready to please you at a seconds notice.

 

And if she wants to spend time with her friends, and go on a vacation or see her family WITHOUT YOU then that's fine! She's entitled to have her space, and to do things without you being right there next to her--- again... SMOTHERING behavior.

 

I see this whole post as being all about you, and having zero empathy for this woman.

[google_girl]

Smashing door is not violent behavior but its defenatly threatening.

[RogerWallace111]

Don't take everyone's accusatory, belittling **** to heart.

 

"Wow ! She was feeling sick and you still wanted her to show some signs of loving you ? What kind of controlling, insecure, f*cking dumbass are you ? " Some people's reactions to your post are ****ing ridiculous. Is it really that gratifying to reprimand people anonymously on the internet for **** you don't really know the true causes of anyway ?

 

Anyway, yeah you should have laid off her, but it's not crazy that you felt upset. Feeling ill and being hormonally imbalanced aren't reason for her to not give you a little reassurance, whether or not she could comfortably be physically loving. I have been very sick and in terrible discomfort around my ex on several occasions, and of course there are "just get away from me!" moments, but it's not weird of you to have wanted one or two relatively kind words.

 

Let it calm down, let her have this space, don't call her for a few days. She won't disappear from your life. And if it really is a purely hormonal thing, and you guys were so deeply in love, it should return to normal in all likelihood.

I have a silly analogy, that, if hormonal imbalance is as world-altering as people say it is, would be applicable.

 

It's like if, say, youre high on some hallucinogen, and your girlfriend comes home, trying to kiss you and be loving. But in your current state, she appears as a repulsive gargoyle and frightens you, so you push her away. She chases you but you yell to leave you alone, so she does, and you go off, leaving the trip to run it's course. Next day, sober, is this going to have forever changed your feelings about the girlfriend you loved before the chemical shift ?

 

If the mental/physical state of a pregnant woman can be as drastically altered as everyone is implying, to the point that her not making any attempt to reassure you she loves you while pushing you away without question is normal and to be expected, you should have nothing to worry about.

[Bigbopper]

I have to agree with this. I saw so many red flags from your own behavior OP. She's pregnant and having horrible morning sickness, and the only thing you can think of to say is, "Why don't you want me?"

 

You seem INCREDIBLY co-dependent, and I can see that you were spending every single waking second with her. This becomes INCREDIBLY suffocating, and when a person requests space, that means GIVE THEM SPACE. That doesn't mean continue to go at them, make them feel guilty for not spending time with you, and then contemplating suicide when she asks for space again.

 

She needs support from a man, not a clingy, needy, child. I'm not quite sure if you understand what happens to a woman when they become pregnant. Hormones are ALL over the place. A woman will be depressed, angry, distant, all of these things all at once. She's not going to be on her knees ready to please you at a seconds notice.

 

And if she wants to spend time with her friends, and go on a vacation or see her family WITHOUT YOU then that's fine! She's entitled to have her space, and to do things without you being right there next to her--- again... SMOTHERING behavior.

 

I see this whole post as being all about you, and having zero empathy for this woman.

 

Thankyou for your honesty. Its not all about me, and I know that now. I struggled because up until the pregnancy, she was the needy one, not in a horrible way, but in a way that I loved. And as soon as she came off holiday, it changed, and it knocked me for 6. Believe me, I have nothing but empathy for her, and am trying to fix that now, as I realise I was being very selfish.

[Bigbopper]

Smashing door is not violent behavior but its defenatly threatening.

 

Erm, I didnt smash the door?? I stood in the doorway for a second, she said "Excuse me", I paused, then moved....

[Bigbopper]

Don't take everyone's accusatory, belittling **** to heart.

 

"Wow ! She was feeling sick and you still wanted her to show some signs of loving you ? What kind of controlling, insecure, f*cking dumbass are you ? " Some people's reactions to your post are ****ing ridiculous. Is it really that gratifying to reprimand people anonymously on the internet for **** you don't really know the true causes of anyway ?

 

Anyway, yeah you should have laid off her, but it's not crazy that you felt upset. Feeling ill and being hormonally imbalanced aren't reason for her to not give you a little reassurance, whether or not she could comfortably be physically loving. I have been very sick and in terrible discomfort around my ex on several occasions, and of course there are "just get away from me!" moments, but it's not weird of you to have wanted one or two relatively kind words.

 

Let it calm down, let her have this space, don't call her for a few days. She won't disappear from your life. And if it really is a purely hormonal thing, and you guys were so deeply in love, it should return to normal in all likelihood.

I have a silly analogy, that, if hormonal imbalance is as world-altering as people say it is, would be applicable.

 

It's like if, say, youre high on some hallucinogen, and your girlfriend comes home, trying to kiss you and be loving. But in your current state, she appears as a repulsive gargoyle and frightens you, so you push her away. She chases you but you yell to leave you alone, so she does, and you go off, leaving the trip to run it's course. Next day, sober, is this going to have forever changed your feelings about the girlfriend you loved before the chemical shift ?

 

If the mental/physical state of a pregnant woman can be as drastically altered as everyone is implying, to the point that her not making any attempt to reassure you she loves you while pushing you away without question is normal and to be expected, you should have nothing to worry about.

 

Thankyou for this. For the first time in reading peoples replies, I havent gone "WOW, a little harsh!".

 

I think it is very easy to have a go at someone, but I thought these forums were all about supporting each other through difficult times.

 

I hope you are right. I think for now, as you have said, I MUST leave her be, let her calm down, and sort my own issues out. I have a history of depression, and this has sparked a relapse, so I need to clear my head, seek some advice etc, and hopefully, she will contact me in the next few days and we will sort it out.

 

Thanks

[Bigbopper]

Just out of interest, what are peoples opinions on "No contact"?

 

How long, does it work, what does the other person use the "space" for?

 

I know ive been very upset, crying etc etc but am interested to know what the other person (i.e the "dumper" or "NC Instigator") uses the actual time for!

 

What do you think about etc?

 

Thanks

[Bigbopper]

Anybody?

 

Really struggling this morning. When im asleep all is well and I dream of us together as normal, but then wake up and experience the hurt all over again, have panic attacks etc.

 

Someone help me?

[Tally123]

You need to take a step back and give her this space that she needs. What are your options.....? Either carrying on pressing her, texting her etc which might push her even further away and will result in no chance of reunion, or, give her space for a week, two weeks, three weeks and no that you can work through this and be together down the line? I know which one I would choose.

 

Of course you will see/speak to her again, you are having a child together. You need to show her that you are mature enough to be a partner to her and a father to your baby.

 

Know that every day you are not speaking and giving her space, you are giving you both a chance!

 

Good luck!

[Bigbopper]

You need to take a step back and give her this space that she needs. What are your options.....? Either carrying on pressing her, texting her etc which might push her even further away and will result in no chance of reunion, or, give her space for a week, two weeks, three weeks and no that you can work through this and be together down the line? I know which one I would choose.

 

Of course you will see/speak to her again, you are having a child together. You need to show her that you are mature enough to be a partner to her and a father to your baby.

 

Know that every day you are not speaking and giving her space, you are giving you both a chance!

 

Good luck!

Thanks for this, but is it real? Am I giving myself false hope?

 

I have made an appointment with a counsellor to talk through my issues and insecurities, but what I really want is for the woman who bought so much happiness to my life to return, and for us to make things the way they were.

 

Every song I hear, everything I eat, I associate with her in some way, and whilst I know it is a self destructive pattern, I cant help it.

 

We also have our first hosp appointment next week, and I dont know if she will be speaking to me by then.

It hurts so much....

[google_girl]

Hey how have you been?Let us know what happened and if it worked.No contact does help as it take off pressure from other person and let him/her evaluate situation neutrally.

We can understand your frustration as you are still in madly love with her and experiencing withdrawal symptoms.Stay strong.Do you meditate or go to gym?Exercising reduces stress.

[Bigbopper]

Hey GG thanks for checking in on me :-)

 

Well the last 2 weeks have been hell, and im still not sure where we stand...

 

I broke NC on day 6, with a simple text saying "Hope you and baby are ok", then day 7 I emailed her to find out about our first DR appointment. Amazingly she emailed back but to say yes, I could go to the appointment but she was in no way ready to be around me.

 

I left it at that and went to the appointment, and it was fairly positive-we talked lots and she said that she saw me in a new light (because I shouted and im normally so chilled), but she couldnt really focus on it right now as the hormones and sickness are ravaging her at the moment.

 

I hugged her and left and she said "speak soon". I got home and cried, then texted to say "good to see you, let me know if you need anything", but got no reply.

 

I have emailed twice since then, but had nothing. So it went: Argument,me pushing for 2 days, then NC, email on day 7, saw each other on day 9, I emailed on day 9 and day 12, but havent had anything back.

 

Im now feeling like im back at square 1 :-(

 

I play rugby but its off season right now so not exercising much.

[Bigbopper]

SO, time for a little update:

 

We had our scan and a few random texts, then today she came over and broke up with me. Heartless, cold, cruel. I didnt beg, but I asked for an explanation, and she just kept repeating that right now she doesnt want me. End of.

 

Im so p***ed off right now, ive been left dangling in limbo all this time for nothing.

 

Time to go full NC right? If we are meant to be together, we will. She is carrying my child and there WILL come a time where she will want/need me.....I hope.....

[love does not exist]

I honestly don't understand why people ****, have babies, and dont work through their differences for the sake of the child. All these liberal ****s have all the goys head spinned with this happiness bull****, if you are not happy leave. Happiness is another illusion. Now you can raise a kid in a disfuctional setting with two single parents who will be at each other throats forever.

 

Next time before you stick your dick in a woman, make sure your married first.

 

If I was you I'd just grow some nuts and just leave her and the kid. I just did it. I wasn't going to watch my kid get drug through hell. Her mother can deal with that ****.

[MonsterMash]

SO, time for a little update:

 

We had our scan and a few random texts, then today she came over and broke up with me. Heartless, cold, cruel. I didnt beg, but I asked for an explanation, and she just kept repeating that right now she doesnt want me. End of.

 

Im so p***ed off right now, ive been left dangling in limbo all this time for nothing.

 

Time to go full NC right? If we are meant to be together, we will. She is carrying my child and there WILL come a time where she will want/need me.....I hope.....

 

 

This is more stupidity than being pregnant can account for. I'd go no contact with her, period, until the child is born. And only then to set up a paternity test.

 

I've got 100 bucks cash saying the kid ain't his. Any takers?

[Mike_d]

I've got 100 bucks cash saying the kid ain't his. Any takers?

 

ya, her withholding behav just reeks of guilt, +2