Jason270 Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Hey me and my ex have been broken up a month. It was a mutual breakup as I could see she didn't feel the same way.We were together 3 years. She said she still loves me and misses me and i was the best thing that happened to her. She said this when we first broke up. but doesn't feel the same way. I thought i was ok with the break up and when we spoke a few times I acted like all was ok and it didnt bother me. We spoke 2 weeks ago on the phone and I cracked . I told her I loved her and want to give it another go, i was sick of playing games. She said basically she didn't think it would work, but to give it some time to she of things changed. O yea it's long distance to. But I was going to move to be with her. We broke up on mutual holiday.I don't want to seem needy but should I contact her friends maybe to see if there is still a chance. Or contact her or just leave it alone. I just want some closure but don't want to stuff things up of there is a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
WhatYouWantToHear Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 (edited) I just want some closure... I know you're hurt and having second thoughts and blah blah blah, but what is "closure"? What could she possibly say other than 'I was completely wrong and want to get back' (which isn't going to happen, because if she had those feelings she would contact you), that would make you feel good about never seeing her again? Whats worse is you think that this can be achieved by indirectly contacting her (via her friends). Not gonna happen. Create your own "closure" and move on. Or better still, don't heed my advice and post back about how contacting her friends turned out. I need some entertainment. Edited August 14, 2012 by WhatYouWantToHear Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 I don't want to seem needy but should I contact her friends maybe to see if there is still a chance. Or contact her or just leave it alone. I just want some closure but don't want to stuff things up of there is a chance. Contacting her friends is a bad idea. You're going to place people in an awkward position and she will not change her mind about the break up if you do this because you were willing to involve people who shouldn't be involved in the first place. Perhaps there are instances where doing this "helped" or whatever but for the most part, sensible people don't want to get involved in things that doesn't concern them. Do what you want, OP, but I really hope you'll choose to not contact her friends. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexfromBoston Posted August 15, 2012 Share Posted August 15, 2012 Asking her friends is an awful idea and I would 100% advise against it. In fact, if there ever was any hope to reconcile, you may blow it with that one, deff move. I would maintain limited contact and give her the space she desires. I personally prefer a cold, unattached LC method over NC. A cold LC scenario screams, "I am moving on and I am losing interest in you". To me, NC is a traditional response that seems far too contrived. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jason270 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Share Posted August 16, 2012 (edited) Thanks for all the advice guys. I understand that if she really wanted to be with me then she would contact me first. Or would she maybe shes waiting for me.but I can't help but to think I should try win her back or talk to her.Even though she said she couldn't see it ever working as the spark had gone but to give her time. She is a really pretty girl and I see how men look at her so it's only a matter of time. It has been 3 weeks since we spoke. I love her so much and wish things didn't go the way they did. The last thing I want to do is to seem needy or desperate. I also spoke to her mum as we were quiet close around 3 weeks ago, She txt me first, I kinda poured my heart out to her silly I know. So she has prob shown my ex. If I was to contact her what should I say I really want her back. Should I just be casual and say I hope she is doing ok or something? If I shouldn't contact her how to I show her I am not desperate or needy and moving on. It is her bday in 9 days. If u think I shouldn't contact her about getting back, should I wish her a happy bday? Also I am suspicious of a guy she is friends with. Maybe I am being paranoid but why else would she just go off me. I know we were apart 9 months. If u think we don't have a chance I want her to see that I am ok with the break up and moved on. Thanks Edited August 16, 2012 by Jason270 Missing sentance Link to post Share on other sites
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