hinatticus Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Man. I feel for you. I'm very lucky that I have 50/50 plus in actuality I have him about 75% of the time. If I was in your shoes I'd try not to argue at all with her. Her emotions will turn her into someone you don't know. Just take it all on the chin. I'd also fight for the right for some custody. Whether its legal or you two end up amicable and make your own terms. That's what we did. Had I taken the d*ckhead approach im sure lawyers would've entered the picture. All I know is, there will come a time when the kid is old enough to know what kind of parents you both are. Don't be a deadbeat dad! The one thing I have going for me is that I'm a wicked ass father to my son! He freakin loves me! Be the father you wished you had. Or if your dad was awesome, be like him. Don't worry about anything your ex is doing unless its about your unborn child, but I repeat, don't get angry! Anger alienates. Keep us updated Good luck man.
Author Bazamu Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 (edited) Well im pretty sure that I wont see her until the appointment date. I still am keeping to my word and giving her the space and respect I should have in the very beginning. I have been about 5 days sober off everything and I can slowly feel a little improvement in my brain to be more mature in this situation. I can only hope and pray that everything goes well. I am afraid of blowing up at her or trying to keep my composure when I see her at the appointment. I have been reenacting every scenario when I get over to hospital to see her. I believe I will be strong enough to be content with what is going on. Yes, I am truely sorry for what I have said to her and all the hateful things. I know there is no way of taking that back whatsoever. Like I said again, all I can do is wait. I do plan on writing a letter to her in a couple/few more weeks, when I have a very clear conscience of what I want to say and do. I cannot tell her to quit smoking, since its her body and she does what she wants. It will just cause another embargo through this rough relationship as it is. Custody battles would be tough, I do not plan on seeing it go that way, but if it happens, it happens. I cannot change any of that PostScript: She is 20, I am 25 years old Both Capricorns she was born on the 11th me on the 15th heh Edited August 15, 2012 by Bazamu
hinatticus Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Aww man, she's so young. You're young too but it seems like you're trying to be mature in all of this. Keep up the sobriety man. I know being clean helps with clear thinking. If you feel a relapse coming on, stick with light rec drugs(pot/alcohol). I'm no saint so I can't tell you to be a perfect human. We all have our vices. All I know is that a lot of sh*t can be addicting... Pot isn't one of them. But having a clear head works wonders when you're in a crisis. Trust me on this. The last thing you wanna do is be blitzed or high when getting into a confrontation with her. Save the fun times when you're just hanging with buddies and you know you won't hear from her. BUT if you are serious about cleaning up then by all means stay away from all drugs and booze. Alcohol has never been a problem for me so I'm comfortable having a few while I play some online hockey. Hehe. Anyway, keep your head up!
Author Bazamu Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 Screw pot, alcohol, and other drugs. I really don't need any of it. Even if it's for a social use. I'll just stick to what I got, which is me right now. I do wish I could call her or text her, but I'll wait 8 days just to see her at this appointment. Maybe she might call before, but who knows. I've hurt her a lot and it's all about her at this time.
hinatticus Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 That's great that you're sticking to sobriety. Keep bettering yourself. It's something everyone should be doing. Read lots of books and get all the info you need for your child. You gotta get psyched up and tell yourself you're in this for the long haul.
Author Bazamu Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 I have a few baby books and some baby name books. preparing for the worst and hoping for the best =P
Author Bazamu Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 The thing what is now bothering me most is going to this appointment of hers and acting okay. I really have no idea how to diffuse that situation.
hinatticus Posted August 17, 2012 Posted August 17, 2012 Have you gone to the appointment yet? How was it. Just be cool and excited... Cool excited, kinda contradicting but you get my point.
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