Briggs21 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 (edited) A few months back i suffered from what appeared to be a "grass is greener" break up from my GF at the time. It seemed to meet all the criteria: -Happened out of the blue -Kind of got the sense at the end she was talking more exclusively to one guy -Both mid 20's -2+ year relationship -No real reason for breaking up, just a "i have to find myself" and i love you but not in love with you -Insisted i stayed her best friend I did what everyone does, with the pleading, negotiating blah blah blah, but i only did it for a day and gave up to clear my head. So its been a few months, and the only contact i've had with her is a few texts that she initiated, and i used for reasons such as canceling future plans. (We had a few sight seeing trips planned before we broke up, and agreed to still do the day of the break up) Once i found out about the other guy is when i said screw talking to her im going NC (when she originally broke up there was no mention of another guy, i specifically asked and she said no, so i was ok with being her friend at that point.) So she told me she was seeing a new guy (not dating just seeing him). Well she then updates her FB to say she is in a relationship (i didnt even bother deleting her because we have so many mutual friends she can see my profile regardless with ease, so i unsubscribed to her so i cannot see any of her updates, and honestly rarely have any desire to even click on her page manually.) I find this out because my phone blows up with pissed off friends and family, so i click on her page and see its true. This update lasts maybe an hour, and it is hidden again, no relationship status. Then about a month later same thing happens, i wake up to probably 8 texts from friends and family saying screw your ex, i again checker her page "in a relationship" about 2 hours later its gone. can anyone make any sense out of this? Here are my theories 1. She is unsure when to use her "big gun" everything she has tried to :"make me jealous" has failed miserably, i dont see her FB unless someone tells me to view it, i gave up begging after a day, i gave all her stuff back through a mutual friend to aoid seeing her, and i canceled future plans. My first theory is simple, if she cant see me, she wants to get under my skin, and the ABSOLUTE last resort is her relationship status, and she wants to save it because its pretty much the only power she has left. 2. She wants to eliminate any trail of a new BF, until she is sure she made the right decision. She texted me early on she is "seeing" someone, not dating. By eliminating the relationship status so quickly she may assume i never saw it, OR she can outright deny it because there is no way i can prove it was ever up. So until she is sure she will keep it off, and in her mind still have me as a fall back guy (or so she thinks lol) 3. Her new "BF" doesnt see them as BF/GF. He may have saw it and said thats not what we are, so she took it down. without me even knowing the guy or talking to her i can never know if they are really dating or not so she can be milking this for what its worth to get under my skin. Anyone have any other idea what this can be? Im fairly certain its one of the above 3, and i hope it is, because its a win/win/win for me if its one of them. The absolute only other possibility i can possibly think of is she is trying to spare my feelings, but you'd think after 3 months of NC, she would get the picture that i dont care anymore, thus not having to worry about sparing any feelings and just post and keep the status up. Edited August 14, 2012 by Briggs21
Chi townD Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 You're forgetting number 4. 4. Since you've been getting texts and e-mail about what she put up, she's probably getting the same thing from all of your mutual friends stating that it's rude of her to post something like that so quickly after your break up. It's rude and disrespectful. So, she probably took it down so the e-mails. texts and phonecalls stop.
Reegs Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 All your doing is hurting yourself here my friend. Right now this girl, in her mind, has moved on. She left you for whatever reason...she thinks she can do better...doesnt think she needs you...the new guy is fun and exciting....who knows. By looking at her Facebook, your setting yourself back, and putting yourself in a place where you are asking all these questions. All this does is make your head spin, questioning why she is doing it. Maybe one of your theories are true...maybe you are way off...who knows what she is thinking or why she is changing FB. Right now, you need to concentrate on making your own situation better...and forget about what she is doing. Start here: 1. (as Gisbon stated) Tell your family and friends never telling you anything about your EX. 2. NC...which includes not looking at her FB. EVER. 3. Working on yourself...be it going to the gym, etc... There are a million guides on this forum for this stuff. The biggest thing is staying off of her FB. FB only shows people have a great time. Smiling, laughing, drinking, dancing, etc....Seeing her having a great time with her new guy doesn't do you any good. Your only hurting yourself when you see that stuff...and although your family and friends may not know it, they are hurting you by telling you it as well. Really sorry you have to go through this. There is light at the end of the tunnel though...and you will come out a stronger person in the end. Good Luck! 1
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