Author SJC2008 Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 For the bolded part : - first one and what you said about rough lives is a ... red flag of sorts; first date you don't discuss who hurt you and what not. - oh, how cute of her ... she wants you all to herself. Will she do the same for you ? We didn't go int ANY details about our rough lives. I didn't talk about my lack of exp or anything about R history. We talked a little about OLD though. She did tell me about her one serious R without me asking. We're both literally in the same boat lol so I'm going to stay positive on this one.
Radu Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Yeah, what about the other one ? Did you make ask the same of her ?
Author SJC2008 Posted August 15, 2012 Author Posted August 15, 2012 Yeah, what about the other one ? Did you make ask the same of her ? No but I'm sure she knows I'm interested by our little makeout session! I've come along way I couldn't buy a second date a year ago now I'm slipping in a little tongue! I'm really not a first date kisser but I wanted to kiss her so I did. 1
Emilia Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 I never went out with a guy from OLD who I didn't know his last name. Your response would have me questioning what you're hiding and why you're afraid to tell me something so basic about yourself. and my response to that would be: why are you so controlling?
MuscleCarFan Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 Why are you hiding your last name? What's the point in that?
phineas Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Depends what you want from her. Do you like her and want to try to build something lasting? Then show her you don't have anything to hide. Your first and last name is available to thousands of people who you don't know at all. That information isn't the key to much. If you don't care that much and prefer to keep your distance, then don't share. I had a woman I hadn't even scheduled a first date with want to know where I worked. As in what company I worked for. The fact that her English was HORRIBLE in her emails coupled by the fact she initiated with me left me feeling suspicious. I gotta meet someone face to face before I start giving out personal info. She disappeared when I told her we can talk about that stuff when we meet & asked her when she was free.
phineas Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Last week a woman asked for my last name once she had agreed to a first date. Then she canceled the date (on the day of the date, a few days after getting my name), but said we can reschedule. Now she's unavailable for the new date, too. I wonder what she found, or if it's even related. Oh well. Slightly annoying, but probably saved time in the long run. OP, glad your date went well! I googled my name & found it on jerk.com It's my fricken Facebook profile from like 2yrs ago. Seriously? LOL! Then some posts made by me back in 2000 on some web developer forums when I didn't know to use handles online. My obituary from 1947. wait-wut? also, my address, pictures of my house, how much it's worth, how much I paid for it, and errr how much my mother made in 2007 as a clerk at the community college. Yeah, until I've gone on a 2nd date I don't think i'm telling anyone anything but my first name. LOL!
sydneysider1978 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 I'm glad that the date went well. I just wanted to add my two cents. When start chatting to a guy online, I usually take it to real life email if I'm interested in meeting up, its just easier to use.. At this stage, you usually find out someone's last name. And yes, I would use this to do a little online research. Basically, I'd just see if there profile was backed up by Facebook and LinkedIn. It can be a a bit nerve wracking meeting a stranger for the first time, so this makes me feel more at ease, and a lot safer. I know guys do this to me as well, you can see who's viewed your profile on LinkedIn. If a guy was really cagey about sharing his last name, I'd wonder what he had to hide. Unless there was a good reason, like he was high profile or in law or something.
Author SJC2008 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 (edited) I had a woman I hadn't even scheduled a first date with want to know where I worked. As in what company I worked for. The fact that her English was HORRIBLE in her emails coupled by the fact she initiated with me left me feeling suspicious. I gotta meet someone face to face before I start giving out personal info. She disappeared when I told her we can talk about that stuff when we meet & asked her when she was free. I forgot to mention that this woman message me first. I didn't consciously think about her doing so as a reason not wanting to give my last name but mabye that was part of the reason I got a bad vibe when she asked. Edited August 16, 2012 by SJC2008 edit
Author SJC2008 Posted August 16, 2012 Author Posted August 16, 2012 I'm glad that the date went well. I just wanted to add my two cents. When start chatting to a guy online, I usually take it to real life email if I'm interested in meeting up, its just easier to use.. At this stage, you usually find out someone's last name. And yes, I would use this to do a little online research. Basically, I'd just see if there profile was backed up by Facebook and LinkedIn. It can be a a bit nerve wracking meeting a stranger for the first time, so this makes me feel more at ease, and a lot safer. I know guys do this to me as well, you can see who's viewed your profile on LinkedIn. If a guy was really cagey about sharing his last name, I'd wonder what he had to hide. Unless there was a good reason, like he was high profile or in law or something. This bold a perfect example of men are from mars and women are from venus. Woman: "He won't tell me his last name hmmm...What is he hiding?" Man: "We're meeting at a public place and before we even know if we want to see eachother again she wants my last name" That being said there were quite a few women in this thread who understood where I was comming form!
sydneysider1978 Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 It's up to you I guess. Do you want to maintain your anonymity (and risk losing some girls interest) or make girls feel more comfortable? Both are reasonable positions.
FitChick Posted August 16, 2012 Posted August 16, 2012 Women have been taught from birth to be cautious because they are the ones more likely to be victims of crime and the perpetrators are usually men. Men aren't that cautious. I know guys who leave their curtains open or blinds up with all the lights on at night so anyone can see that they are home alone. Women don't do this. It's just a different mindset. I don't give out my last name or my address until we've met and decided to continue dating.
phineas Posted August 18, 2012 Posted August 18, 2012 I forgot to mention that this woman message me first. I didn't consciously think about her doing so as a reason not wanting to give my last name but mabye that was part of the reason I got a bad vibe when she asked. If their emails weren't composed entirely in one syllable words, spelled horribly I'd be less suspicious.
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