Understanding her Anger

[Gaprofitt]

Hi All,

 

Just needed someone to talk to and I thought it would for sure help me posting here. My wife left me on July 1st with our 10 month old son. I don't want to go into all the details but she hasn't talked to me on the phone since she left, she has denied visitation twice and now I have court ordered every other weekend but can't talk to or communicate with her in any way, my family has to do the exchange of our child. Since she left I have been more than nice, she has called me crazy, cussed out my in-laws and just been horribly angry and beyond mean.

 

Is this level of anger normal? Our son turns 1 year old next month, I'm thinking she's not going to invite me or anything to his party. That would kill me. I love this woman and son with all my heart, I tried my best to save my marriage but obviously I went overboard with emails and phone calls but I was beyond crushed.

 

We have been married for 8 years, now i'm the enemy and she hates me and it's impacting the relationship with my son also. It's just been horrible, the weight loss, lack of sleep. Everyday is a new knife in the back or a cut to my throat via an email to a relative, something I heard she is trying to do etc. Some of the stuff has just been beyond cruel. I love this woman regardless, I don't want to hate her. Some stuff she has done and said has just crushed me like nothing on this earth. I know she's being brainwashed by others and it's her way of making me a bad person to deal with the pending divorce but why so much anger and hate.

 

Thanks for listening.

 

Greg

[salmagundi]

Well to start with, you don't mention why she left you... What precipitated the breakup?

[fucpcg]

My ex went from telling me how she couldn't imagine never having me in her life, to telling everyone she knew what a crazy psycho ******* boyfriend I was, within a matter of like a month. Along with that, the refusal to see me or even talk to me. She has refused contact 100% Her anger really shocked me, and don't know how we could go from can't imagine life without me to hating me in a month. It's now 1.5 years later, and she still has anger and refuses to talk. Personally I don't get the anger at all. I know what you are going thru, and it sucks beyond imagine, but it does happen, it's not just you. Wish I had a better answer for you, but all I can tell you is I've seen it to, it's not short lived, and I still don't get it.

[Gaprofitt]

Well to start with, you don't mention why she left you... What precipitated the breakup?

 

 

Huge communication issues, cussing at each other, disrespecting each other, I was controlling..

[Hindsight_is_20_20]

I dunno, it kinda sounds like she feels guilty about something? Usually when people "all of a sudden" snap and leave, it's because they're trying to justify something.

 

That, or she's bi polar...

[thecoolkid]

Maybe you can try writing a letter to her...

 

-Letting her know you understand her feelings

towards you..

-Genuinely show her you are sorry

If possible prove to her its not worth

throwing away something you two hard

to built

-Tell her the things you're willing to do

to improve the relationship

 

Hope things go well,

And if you believe in the Universal Creator you

can call on him in your prayers with the use of his

real name. (Yahweh)

[Gaprofitt]

She has a no contact order so we can't talk to each other. I know she is not listening to her heart, others are telling her i'm crazy and a bad guy, etc. She knows in her heart how I am, it bothers me like crazy. I've never seen her act like this so i'm sure she has a strong influence from friends and family. She is really the one who truly knows me. It's beyond sad. She is beyond angry. She cancelled my son's first birthday party, has cancelled my visitation before and is certainly not acting in the best interest of our child.

 

Greg

[Balzac]

It sounds like you're miserable and missing your child. Careful reading of your posts leads me to believe you must have begun dealing with your behavioral contribution to the divorce situation. If so, good for you and lucky for your child.

 

I'd caution you to worry & comment less on who is influencing your wife. Firstly because a no contact order is directed at her as well. Eight years is a long marriage to just have had a child and then crumble. Often people use anger to cover the hurt.

[Gaprofitt]

It sounds like you're miserable and missing your child. Careful reading of your posts leads me to believe you must have begun dealing with your behavioral contribution to the divorce situation. If so, good for you and lucky for your child.

 

I'd caution you to worry & comment less on who is influencing your wife. Firstly because a no contact order is directed at her as well. Eight years is a long marriage to just have had a child and then crumble. Often people use anger to cover the hurt.

 

I miss him greatly and the whole situation has gotten crazy and it doesn't need to be. I've been in counseling ever since she left to better myself as a person and deal with her behavior and hate toward me. This whole thing has changed me greatly, it has changed my soul, my values among other things.

 

Greg