amythan Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 Hi, I really need help because I do not really know what to do. I feel conflicted and my mind changes all the time. My bf and I we are going out together for a few months, I really like him and I can picture myself with him in the long term. The problem is he is leaving. He told me from the beginning and I didn't want to think too much about it but now the idea is obsessing me. He is back to NZ because he misses his family but he hasn't signed the contract yet. I want him to stay with me, I do not want him to leave. If he does I cannot see how we cold stay together. And I start to feel like i am just entertaining him during this months before he starts his new life there. I feel if he was in love in me he would not leave me and this makes me feel sad all the time. I wanted this to work but i am not sure if I am just a pass time for him. I was planning to send him an email explaining how I feel and what I want, it is not an ultimatum but i cannot continue pretending that everything is fine when it is not. I know the day i tell him i will probably never see him again but if i do not voice my feelings it would be too late once he signed for his new position. What do you think ? Am i all wrong here ? Thanks for your opinions.
Author amythan Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 I have been trying to put all this in the back of mind but I cannot. I do not know what to do. I do not want to leave him but I do not want to get hurt either. But in my mind the most difficult thing to accept is that he is willing to give up on me without a second thought, and this makes me think he does not love me. Opinions ?
threebyfate Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 If you really love him, why can't you move to be close to him?
Author amythan Posted August 14, 2012 Author Posted August 14, 2012 Maybe in the future but I have a great job here, my house, my friends ... I know no one there and it would be really hard if things go wrong. I need time.
rocketman122 Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 I had a 9 month LDR relationship with a woman I had the same feelings as you. I felt like I was being taken for granted. I was not appreciated. it pisses me off with all the I love you's she told me that she didnt care to fight for us after I left. I always went to see her. we talked when she was free. Im the one who always initiated texts. I felt like I was convenient. like I was entertainment for her. because we only met on days she wanted to. we went out to a restaurant/movie/show/bar whatever..I always paid (because this is how it should be IMO) then went to her place. got intimate. woke up the next morning went back home and we went our separate ways. Its been 3 months. I think about her. I miss her. but I know she will not find someone who will give her what I did. she wont find someone who will love her like I did. it might happen, but Im HIGHLY doubtful. there's more than what I say, but it wont happen any time soon. if its meant to be then so be it, otherwise you will have to move on. sorry I dont have much more to offer.
HeartOnSleeve Posted August 15, 2012 Posted August 15, 2012 I could have written your post! I am in the same boat...man do I pick'em. Haha. Met a great guy a few months ago after ditching all the idiots and go figure the man of my dreams (literally) is moving across the country in 2-3 months and there is nothing he can do to change his situation and my current situation makes it difficult for me to go with him. Maybe in the future I can, but I have a business where I am and I have to nurture it. He understands and I understand his commitments but we want to be with each other. Such a crappy feeling and I at one point felt like I was his entertainment until we discussed how we felt about one another. Just last night when we spoke he has no intention of coming back to the west coast in the next 10 years and really the only option is for me to go to him. My world is on the west coast and I could see my self giving that up for him one day or at least becoming bi-coastal Crazy
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