TurtlePower Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 One of my very good friends recently asked me to be the godfather of her daughter. However, I feel do not comfortable with this position for a variety of reasons. Among them, I am already the godfather to my nephew and honestly I feel that is where my all my energy should be spent. I have never met her daugher so I wouldn't know how to begin to bond with her, plus I am not even a blood relative, just a friend. I asked who else was in the running, and apparently there isn't anybody hahaha. I don't want this to ruin our friendship if I decline, but I really do not want to do it. Maybe I am selfish or maybe I am just nervous about the responsibility? Any help or advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance.
writergal Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) One of my very good friends recently asked me to be the godfather of her daughter. However, I feel do not comfortable with this position for a variety of reasons. Among them, I am already the godfather to my nephew and honestly I feel that is where my all my energy should be spent. I have never met her daugher so I wouldn't know how to begin to bond with her, plus I am not even a blood relative, just a friend. I asked who else was in the running, and apparently there isn't anybody hahaha. I don't want this to ruin our friendship if I decline, but I really do not want to do it. Maybe I am selfish or maybe I am just nervous about the responsibility? Any help or advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance. Well, if it ruins your friendship when you decline, then it wasn't much of a friendship, was it? Always stay true to yourself. Don't say "yes" just to avoid conflict. You're not selfish for saying no. You just have good boundaries, that's all. You know it would make you uncomfortable. Nothing wrong with that. I think you can decline the offer without hurting your friend's feelings by stating what you wrote: thank your friend for the offer then turn her down by stating that while you appreciate her thoughtfulness, you need to decline because you're already a godfather to your nephew. No further explanation is necessary. Think of the awkward position both you and your friend's daughter will be in, if you said yes to the godfather role since you've never met her. I had a similar experience with my own godfather whom I never met or knew. Shortly after I was born, my mother asked friend of hers who lives in another country to be my godfather. Well, he accept her offer, but clearly never had any intention of following through as I never heard a peep from him ever, then he died from a heart attack and that was it. So I never met or knew my own godfather. And I resent my mother for choosing someone who clearly didn't want the responsibility, but accepted the offer just to appease her (she can be kind of pushy). You don't need to say "yes" just because your friend asked you and no one else. Just be clear that you're already a godparent and can't accept her offer, and leave it at that. If she's hurt, oh well, she'll find someone else. Perhaps you could suggest a church or work friend as an alternative if she reacts negatively when you decline. Edited August 13, 2012 by writergal
Recommended Posts