supermanthatho Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 I feel like Im the weak person in dating and relationships. I'm a guy as well so my ego is dropping. I don't get a chance to take charge or have it the way I want. Its like no one is taking me serious. What can I do so that I'm the boss and whatever I say goes? I'll give you an example of a smallest of my scenarios.. I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks, shes a nice girl and everything, I went out with her to the clubs and we were hooking up, dancing, getting drunk together then at the end of the night when we're both sobered up she said to me in my ear "I am so giving you sex" I said "alright, lets f*** tonight". And shes all like "I cant tonight I got work in the morning I'll give you a call in the next few days". It just feels like its all up to her when we do **** or not. To me if it was any other guy they would of been able to screw the girl (not her in particular but any girl in their scenario) that night. Why cant I do that? I have confidence and everything but i cant seem to have any control
madjac74 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 Perhaps a more savvy response than "Lets uck tonight!" and your obvious easiness would have been a better approach. She is probably turned off but knows you will be an option if she needs it badly enough.
rocketman122 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 sheesh.. you clearly lack experience and tact. Lets fckk tonight? really? when a woman wants, you shut up and give it to her. you have much to learn.. 2
Author supermanthatho Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 Perhaps a more savvy response than "Lets uck tonight!" and your obvious easiness would have been a better approach. She is probably turned off but knows you will be an option if she needs it badly enough. I guess :/ but its just not fair i wanted my root See im confident enough to get women, most women that I want, but I dont know the game to have control in dating and relationships its like a different strategy. Picking up a random girl for a one nighter is different i can do that easy. It just when im actual dating and really in to the girl it doesnt go my way
madjac74 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 I guess :/ but its just not fair i wanted my root See im confident enough to get women, most women that I want, but I dont know the game to have control in dating and relationships its like a different strategy. Picking up a random girl for a one nighter is different i can do that easy. It just when im actual dating and really in to the girl it doesnt go my way Sooooo was this girl more than a random pickup for you?
Author supermanthatho Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 Sooooo was this girl more than a random pickup for you? yeah she was more than a random pick up coz i was actuall seeing her and like her
Author supermanthatho Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 sheesh.. you clearly lack experience and tact. Lets fckk tonight? really? when a woman wants, you shut up and give it to her. you have much to learn.. well i did just come out of a 3 yr relationship that ended badly, took a huge blow out of me. I find it easy to pick up randoms but now I find it difficult to date and take charge again
madjac74 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 yeah she was more than a random pick up coz i was actuall seeing her and like her You made it seem like less than that especially with your response. Of course we all get caught up in the moment sometimes. I think you should just apologize for your response and let her know that you care for her more than that
Author supermanthatho Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 You made it seem like less than that especially with your response. Of course we all get caught up in the moment sometimes. I think you should just apologize for your response and let her know that you care for her more than that nah i dont apologize to anybody anymore. Yeah i like her but i have little care for her at the moment because its only been about 3 wks seeing her. I care more about taking charge and being the one who makes decisions and have it my way nowdays. I think my issue more is that my feelings get in the way and I have to stop that to get things my way. Im not sure.
rocketman122 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 nah i dont apologize to anybody anymore. Yeah i like her but i have little care for her at the moment because its only been about 3 wks seeing her. I care more about taking charge and being the one who makes decisions and have it my way nowdays. I think my issue more is that my feelings get in the way and I have to stop that to get things my way. Im not sure. ah, so besides being inexperienced and having no tact, you also are a douche. See im confident enough to get women which means you arent at all..
Author supermanthatho Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 ah, so besides being inexperienced and having no tact, you also are a douche. See im confident enough to get women which means you arent at all.. umm yeah im confident, no im not a douche well atleast not on purpose. i am strictly talking about when in dating or relationship im lacking tactics and im guessing its coz I was in a 3 yr relationship with a girl who i gave my all too that just crushed that whole sensitive caring side to me. I am just wondering WHY im behaving the way i am right now when it comes to dating coz it feels like i dont get to take charge or have an equal control. Just why have i been affected this much all because of a previous relationship that didnt go down so well. When im clearly back on my feet now
Emilia Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) In your example OP I think the reason is the girl you are seeing is young and 'nice' as you put it. She doesn't want to be seen as a slut so she will always backtrack and make you work for it to make herself look less available. It's c*** women have to go through in their 20s because of society pressures, etc. There are two solutions: one is that you become more manipulative and when she mentions sex you take her out to dinner and look like someone who is working hard for it or the second one is that you pick a more confident girl. Maybe she is too much of a good girl? A less scupulous guy wouldn't have waited until she sobered up but would have taken advantage of her drunken state when she wasn't thinking clearly. Then he would or would not have dealt with the fall out afterwards. If you want control, you have to understand the psyche of the person you are dating OR you pick someone who wants the same things in the first place thus not worry about control. Edited August 13, 2012 by Emilia
ChatroomHero Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) Well as for the question of tact she did say "I am so giving you sex", so I don't know if Super's response was seen by her as that much of a bad thing. I think in the context of the situation it might not be that big of a deal. That being said I know what Super is saying. I've run into situations where I have had a woman say the same basic thing. My response would be a little more subtle and not as direct, but a clear 'yes I'm interested', only to have her to back out for some seemingly crazy reason...like her friend would get sick and need a ride home, or we would be at her house and someone would decide to stay over and block things, or an ex would text her or we would be doing something fun and after talking about sneaking out at midnight to hook up, it would end up being 2am and too late because she would have to work the next morning...if that happened I would just be patient and wait for another time and not try to force the issue. The point is I think some of it is just luck, but in this case it was Super being impatient and showing it. If Super wants to keep the control, I think he just handled it wrong by being too direct. If she is saying, "I am so giving you sex" he needed to hold back because he did have the control. He gave it back when he was too ready at the drop of the hat. Something as simple as , "Oh, you think?" or "We'll see" probably would have gotten him farther. I mean the response would scream he was in control and it was up to him, he just gave the control back to her with his response. He shouldn't confuse having control with sealing the deal right then and there. Edited August 13, 2012 by ChatroomHero
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