Roco Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 OK, so I met this really nice girl on Match.com. We went on a first date, and it went well (no kissing/no hookup). Second date went really well, and we ended up having sex. Ditto third date and fourth date. She has been keeping her distance from me in terms of we only meet up once every 10 days or so due to our busy schedules. She told me today she likes the pace we are moving at and wants to just let it happen without analyzing or rushing anything. I told her I did not want a wife/new mom for my kid, etc...that our relationship "is what it is" I guess my question is how should I proceed? I personally wouldn't mind us moving a little bit faster (i.e. seeing each other more often) but I suspect this could develop into something. She has told me she is not just looking to hook up for a fling and also told me she has had two previous relationships turned bad that obviously have hurt her, although she says she has learned from them. I don't want to mess this up as I think she's great and really like her (so far!) Thanks
Balzac Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 HaHa. Good for you. Sex 3X/mo is better than celebate. Not sure what's wrong w seeing her once a week if I were you, consider a midweek opportunity? Is busy career or kids?
Author Roco Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 She travels a ton for work and I am the one with a kid. So schedules are tough to match up. But when we are together it is GREAT (besides the sex I mean). I do think there is chemistry there.... I guess I just want a little MORE but like you said some is better than none... I also guess there is nothing I can really "do" to make her more comfortable or willing to move faster...just go with the flow...right? I hate to be overthinking this!!! haha
SJC2008 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 IMO she told you she doesn't want a hookup fling because you said "is what it is" about a relationship lol. Take down your profile to show her you're serious about dating her and only her. Don't press her for more time now since yall just met.
Author Roco Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 IMO she told you she doesn't want a hookup fling because you said "is what it is" about a relationship lol. Take down your profile to show her you're serious about dating her and only her. Don't press her for more time now since yall just met. She told me she didn't just want random sex hookups only BEFORE today....today is when I told her I didn't want to rush anything and make her my wife...it is what it is.... She says I am hard to read....hmmm...I say the same about her... I think we have "clicked" really well in a quick fashion and she doesn't want to move too quickly or risk getting hurt again....that sounds plausible, right?
Balzac Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 Lots of plausible scenarios. I'd avoid any talk of wifey stuff. Let her know you respect her feelings about random sex and get her into her comfort zone. Hard to read is ridiculous dating distancing lingo. Tell her positive aspects of how you feel about being with her, make an effort to avoid games and you're good. Either you open up to this getting to know you and yet not caring too much or dating becomes epic fail. It's shopping for fun. If you get sexual fun and games, so much the better. Life is short and busy. Make the most of seeing her until you maybe don't wanna know her if that makes sense? Have fun.
yongyong Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 you had sex with her on 2nd date and she travels around.....you know what that means... I would just keep her as an option and pursue other woman for a serious relationship.
Author Roco Posted August 13, 2012 Author Posted August 13, 2012 you had sex with her on 2nd date and she travels around.....you know what that means... I would just keep her as an option and pursue other woman for a serious relationship. I will keep my eyes open BUT I don't think she's like that....but maybe I'm naive....
ThingsAreComplicated Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 Don't know exactly what you want. You want to see her more often but don't want something to "develop". So basically you want more sex which you obviously can't get from her. Get another **** buddy then?? 1
Charlie Harper Posted August 14, 2012 Posted August 14, 2012 Don't know exactly what you want. You want to see her more often but don't want something to "develop". So basically you want more sex which you obviously can't get from her. Get another **** buddy then?? Agree 100% Let her know what you want and let the relation grow or die....
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