lovehurts5 Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 I've been missing my ex a whole lot lately. This month would have been 4 years, that may be the reason. I keep looking at our old pictures and videos we used to take for fun. We were so happy back then. I know i'm only hurting myself by taking a peak but I can't help myself. I wish I could just call him and that things would go back to how they used to be. This sucks.
weallfalldown Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 your torturing yourself Get rid of all physical memories (Photo's, presents) blah blah Start your own healing process.......and keep going )
2muchlove Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 You have a few options. 1. Burn it all "last crusade" style. (If it's digital, dump that shiet!) 2. Put all the pictures on a disk or in a box and give it to a trusting friend or family member so you may have the memories to look back on years down the road when you don't give two sh*ts about this dude. 3. Continue to torture yourself by looking at them, prolonging the healing process and destroying your self esteem even more. I highly recommend #1.
Author lovehurts5 Posted August 12, 2012 Author Posted August 12, 2012 I like option 2. That's not a bad idea.
Jaf15 Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 Yeah you cant torture yourself like that. I have seen a few photos of the ex and I during the 4 months since we broke up, and it has killed me. I cant imagine just staring at them on purpose, it would destroy me
not-a-drive-by Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 I read some letters a few weeks ago, and flipped through a few pages of a photo album he made for me. Boy, did I cry a river then. ****ing memories. It destroys us.
Appleness Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 Yep, I was guilty of this too. I saw old stuff when I had to pack up and move out of the house we lived in together. I was wondering "What happened to us? What went wrong?" I threw all that stuff away. You need closure. The truth is you can never go back because you're both not the same people anymore. That person you knew and the relationship you had to dead (Michael Fiore's words, not mine). Grieve and heal yourself. 4 years is a long time to still carry a torch for someone. Can I recommend a book? If you have time look for "Total Eclipse of the Heart". I find that it's helped me a bit. We get tunnel vision when we love someone even when it's very obvious that they're bad for us. We might not even notice someone better for us just around the corner cause we don't let then in. We just see them as a friend or we tell ourselves that they're not our type. Heal yourself. You can't move on and be happy otherwise. You deserve to be happy and whole.
changchewsoon Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 I recently got out from a 4.5 years relationship, and I can totally relate to how you felt when you look at the photos and videos you and him/her together. I too wondered "What the heck happened to us? What went wrong really?" Especially she wasn't willing to give me closure, don't even have the guts to see me in person to tell it to my face. But deep down inside, I understand that as time passes all these will fade away. It takes a bit of time to muster up the courage to throw everything away, but believe me you will feel better after doing it. Yeah, I mean you'll feel like sh*t and might be regretting what you've just did but the fact is that after it you know there is nothing left for you to see anymore and the only thing you can do is move on.
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