i was pretending to be someone else?

[lingardx]

please don't judge but i have trust issues, every guy i've been with has mucked me about lied and cheated on me. so naturally i'm just going to expect it to happen but back in june i got a spare sim card and started texing my boyfriend pretending to be one of my friends, i was really been flirty to see if he'd do the dirty. (he actually found out a couple of days ago by going through my things and finding the phone and turning it on and seeing the texts) but last night things erupted into a bit of a row and he told me that he knew it was me. i've destroyed the phone and the sim card. but i want to know how can i win back my boyfriends trust? i really need to repair my relationship because i do love this guy too bits! i need him back in my life, i can't just walk away from a year.

we've got two things planned for this month aswell so i'm hoping we can go to them as friends as they have already been paid for but i feel as if there's a hole where my heart should be, i haven't eaten since he split with me, i can't stop crying. i need some good advice about how to win him back, i would never intentionally fck him around and i'd never do something like this again. so it's not asif i'm going to take him for granted if he does take me back.

please i need serious answers.

 

i really need to win back his trust because i can't cope without him, it's only now that i've lost him that i realise what he truly means to me. i was thinking of sending him a huge text tonight explaining why i did what i did then leaving him to cool off. please help

 

he's told me he wants to be friends first before trying to work things out (what does this even mean) i find it too hard to be friends because of all the feelings i have towards him. does this mean he does want me?

 

:/

Edited August 12, 2012 by lingardx

[leoc1973]

wait a minute here... What did he say back to you when you were pretending to be someone else? He may be covering his ass by acting like this. Of course he's going to pretend he knew it was you.

 

And a lot of times when people put their significant others through stuff like this but still give them the "I wanna be friends" line is because they have no intention of actually dumping you for good. They just wanna teach you a lesson. So that you never do something like this again. If it were me and my girlfriend did it to me it would break my heart because I need to be trusted in a relationship. I think that is what keeps a lot of people from cheating in the first place. Now you screwed yourself because if he does decide to cheat he's to going to justify it as "well she doesn't trust me anyways"

 

I think you have to first give him a sincere apology. Don't try to explain why you did it along with the apology. Just say you are sorry and it was wrong and you will never do it again. Don't tell him you are sorry but you did it because of bla bla bla. Then next you need to tell him he is right and some time apart would be good. I don't care what you guys have planned this month. You don't go.

 

What is going to happen is either he is going to come around and you can get on with your relationship or he is going to torture you for a long time because of this.

[lingardx]

wait a minute here... What did he say back to you when you were pretending to be someone else? He may be covering his ass by acting like this. Of course he's going to pretend he knew it was you.

 

And a lot of times when people put their significant others through stuff like this but still give them the "I wanna be friends" line is because they have no intention of actually dumping you for good. They just wanna teach you a lesson. So that you never do something like this again. If it were me and my girlfriend did it to me it would break my heart because I need to be trusted in a relationship. I think that is what keeps a lot of people from cheating in the first place. Now you screwed yourself because if he does decide to cheat he's to going to justify it as "well she doesn't trust me anyways"

 

I think you have to first give him a sincere apology. Don't try to explain why you did it along with the apology. Just say you are sorry and it was wrong and you will never do it again. Don't tell him you are sorry but you did it because of bla bla bla. Then next you need to tell him he is right and some time apart would be good. I don't care what you guys have planned this month. You don't go.

 

What is going to happen is either he is going to come around and you can get on with your relationship or he is going to torture you for a long time because of this.

 

thank you for your reply, i was thinking of leaving it a day or two before i try and apologise as i've went and been "obsessive" in my need to text him. well he was getting really flirty back as he had his suspicions it was me. i know he would never cheat, regardless of what's happened. he's said to me the only way he'd cheat on me is if i did it to him first. he really is the most sincere genuine guy ever

[lemonlime]

You need to take some time and work on yourself. You say yo know he would never do that, but some part of you was suspicious or you wouldnt have done it in the first place.

 

i really need to win back his trust because i can't cope without him,

 

You dont "need" him and you can cope with out him. You need to be without him until you know that. Besides, hes probably not going to be interested in trying to work things out if you havent changed what made you act like that in the first place. Which means working on your trust and insecurity issues.