vanek26 Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 So I'd like to discuss a strategy I've been trying with women I meet through online dating sites. Generally, I suggest we meet out for coffee as the "first date" and usually try to keep it to around an hour or two at the max. I've gotten accustomed to always walking them to their car afterwards, saying goodbye, and going in for the kiss. Every time. Even if I wasn't feeling good vibes or wasn't very confident that they were attracted to me. I try to make a point to kiss them every time. They almost never reject the kiss (less than 10% of the time) but it certainly has turned off a fair amount of girls So what do you guys think about this? I see some potential pros and cons pros: -sets the tone that I am not to be friend zoned. This is probably the most important. - gives some points for being brave and spontaneous. a lot of girls will appreciate the courage - with the kiss out of the way, it opens the door for a hook up on the next date, where the girl won't feel quite so skanky - kissing is fun! at least i get something out of it cons: -coming on too strong too soon can scare girls away. This is really the only con but it's a big one thoughts?
MrCastle Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 I wouldn't go in for a kiss if I wasn't feeling it, or if the date was bad, that's terrible in my opinion. I don't think you need to worry about being friendzoned, since this is a date you're taking them on. Also, there are other ways to be intimate without kissing, like kino. Bottom line, I would never go in for a kiss with a girl who wasn't giving me the signal to do it.
Titania22 Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 I like to have the time to desire and wonder what it would be like to kiss someone before it happens. So I don't like a guy to try to kiss me on the first date (if that is the first time we are meeting).
rocketman122 Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 and usually try to keep it to around an hour or two at the max. why pre arrange how much time the date will take? ive had first dates that lasted 5 and 6 hours. you should want the date to go longer and not put a time limit. shows me youre an amateur when it comes to dating. and going in for the kiss. Every time. Even if I wasn't feeling good vibes If you dont feel it then you need to give her time to warm up to you. dont force yourself on the woman, you'll make things worse and push her away from you. you must be the guy woman talk about who shove their tongues down their throat when kissing. sets the tone that I am not to be friend zoned. nonsense. it doesnt set the tone for anything . you have much to learn young skywalker. This is really the only con but it's a big one and it negates all your cons.
oaks Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 Having a rigid first-date strategy will be your undoing. You need to be more flexible.
Shosh Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 As a girl, I would not like a guy moving in for a kiss after a first date that was during the day at a coffee place. I would feel it was too soon and presumptuous. I'd also assume he is just interested in a physical relationship. Unless there was crazy flirting during the date on both sides, I would not want to see him again. 1
jocy_20 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 It all depends on on the body language as well. Sometime people get mixed signals and didn't do something that they wish they should have done, vice versa. You will know but noone should do something just because they feel that they have to in order know if that person is into them or not. I met my bf online and we are successfully going to a year in a few months. On our first date we kissed because we both felt it and of course body language and communication.(forgot that)
SJC2008 Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 I've never been a 1st date kisser, never seen the point. I had a 1st date kiss on my last date and didn't get a second one. That's a big reason it's uneccessary IMO. A woman's not going to deal break you for not kissing on the 1st date.
DreamerDeceiver Posted August 13, 2012 Posted August 13, 2012 (edited) In my experience from online dating, getting dates from approaching in real life, etc... if a guy does not kiss a girl (or more) on the first date when she is interested she will get cold on you or take you as a joke. I still remember every single thing my dates said when I was learning to escalate faster on dates and didn't go for it - they will let it be known one way or another. One even got offended. I'll tell you what kind of "coming on too strong" scares girls off: saying you love her or want to be her boyfriend, letting her know you really "really really like her" too early... all that kind of stuff during the end of a first date. But suprising her with a sweet first kiss? No way, it'll only help make the bond stronger. The man has to lead. Whether she wants a 2nd date or not is all up to other factors decided by you and her. Edited August 13, 2012 by DreamerDeceiver
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