Coyoteloco Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Hi, i was wandering, after being so long with my girlfriend, how will this affect the two of us? will we go back and be the persons we were before getting together? what kind of changes are waiting for me, and for her? im pretty sad that we broke up, theres been already 3 weeks, and theres no sign of getting back together but at the same time she hurt me and i dont know if i could get back together with her. Also i been off the dating game for so long, and im a bit rusty, should i just wait for love to come to me, and just go with the flow, or should i take the first step? i know there are girls that like me but i dont know how to aproach to them :S to be something more than friends.
N64 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 In short: of course. I mean, I still find myself asking that question because it is such a strange and sad realization, but I know it is true. If you are honest about your interests, morals, and style of humor and knew you didn't change that for your ex, then maybe that won't be different, but yeah. You can not come out exactly the same when your heart and mind have been so affected. You may change by being more hesitant, or maybe more reckless. Who knows. If you were the one who got sacked, then you may see your ex more liberated. Which hurts. But it is a change. I hope you come out with thicker skin. Be happy, have fun, and be able to bear it when you feel those tinges of pain when memories resurface and I think that alone can make you a strong person.
SadPanda22 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 You should take time to heal from the breakup and focus on yourself. You have only been broken up three weeks, do you honestly feel ready to date again? It's okay to be alone and not in a relationship. How long were you with your ex? How old is she and how old are you?
Author Coyoteloco Posted August 12, 2012 Author Posted August 12, 2012 i been with my girlfriend for 5 years, im 21 and shes 20. I dont know if im ready for dating again, i still cant get her out of my head. But i also miss the female company alot. But what do you think of one night stands? should i keep away from those? she pretty much left me cause of the GIGS and she said that she maybe would enjoy a night one stand, she is going to therapy because she doesnt know what is going on with her. Last time i saw her was 2 weeks ago. She said she is confused and that maybe this could be the worst mistake in her life blablabla, she took me for granted big time.
SadPanda22 Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 Wow, so you guys got together when she was 15 and you were 16. That is so young. Let her sort her issues out in therapy and use this time to just be young and free. Just take it easy and have fun (I know you're hurting right now, so this is much easier said than done). Don't get involved in anything serious for awhile. As for one night stands, that really depends on the individual. Some people can have sex, and that's all it is, it's just sex. Other people get emotionally involved or attached where sex is concerned....and that's not what you need right now. Also, I am really sorry to hear that she took you for granted. My ex did the same thing to me, it's a terrible feeling.
Garfish Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 i been with my girlfriend for 5 years, im 21 and shes 20. I dont know if im ready for dating again, i still cant get her out of my head. But i also miss the female company alot. But what do you think of one night stands? should i keep away from those? she pretty much left me cause of the GIGS and she said that she maybe would enjoy a night one stand, she is going to therapy because she doesnt know what is going on with her. Last time i saw her was 2 weeks ago. She said she is confused and that maybe this could be the worst mistake in her life blablabla, she took me for granted big time. I wish I could be your age again... trust me the hurt really does get better with time... don't jump for a rebound, at your age it should be about your education and future rather than girls. ONS's I can't comment, never went there. People tell me it's not all it's cracked up to be, plus you could catch something. Do some crazy "bucket list" type stuff that you won't be able to do in a long term relationship with bills to pay- like traveling to crazy remote places, hangliding, skydiving, etc. Not every activity has to involve female companions. When you get older you will deeply regret that you didn't allow yourself more adventures in your youth. 2
Author Coyoteloco Posted August 12, 2012 Author Posted August 12, 2012 thanks for the answers, yes maybe i shouldnt focus on girls, but i like girls alot lol and being with one for 5 years it becomes something that i really enjoyed and it was great! But well im not doing bad with my education so far! and i have and had pretty damn good adventures ;D specially music related ones and im living a pretty decent life for what im concerned! but yes this break up for sure was something that hurt me alot, im doing better and better each day, and i read alot of things about GIGS that made me realise that i shouldnt feel sad or be angry with her, because its not her fault, and if this is what makes her happy i accept it, but im worried she might go into a rebound relationship and get hurt, i really care for her. And from what i read i dont think we will get back together in a near future, but well maybe its time to be single right now
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