AnchordHeart Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 My ex broke up with me saying he wanted to leave me as a 'highschool' relationship. Two days later and he was already dating his ex girlfriend. She is like my opposite in many ways, but still, I see myself as better. I think i'm getting to the anger stage. I'm just so annoyed that my childish ex tried to blame me for everything that was wrong in his life. 'He didnt have any friends because he was spending all his time with me'. Truth is, he didnt have any friends because he had already ****ed over anyone who was worth a damn. But no. He would never do that to me. I feel foolish. He wasn't happy, but seemed to be grasping at straws when trying to explain why exactly he was breaking up with me. Truth is, I found out he never intended on dating me longer than our senior year in high school. He decided to go to the same college as me, and as soon as we broke up, he has decided to go to a community college for awile. His relationship is going to crash and burn, and he is going to cling to whoever he can because I feel like he has a fear of being alone. Now that we're broken up, he's adding all the girls he used to 'talk' to, and he's gushing to our mutual friend about how 'happy' he is, and how 'psycho' i am. Truth is, his relationship with this girl is a joke. As soon as she's done with summer camp, she's going home, two hours away, and he's left with a long distance relationship that will never satisfy him. He has never dated a girl like me. He thinks he can just walk back into my life when he needs me. His GIGS adventure is going to suck. Everyone worth knowing in our little high school group of friends already knows how much of an ******* he is. And, i'm meeting new people! Wile he lacks any real opportunities to do so! Haha. Perks of being single, bi-otch. The horrible things he put me through forced me to realize I dont need him. After thinking about them during over a month of NC I realize I dont want him. Yes, I miss him.. but I realize that he is exactly what I thought he was. I was his friend for years, and i watched him do this to weak girls, thinking, 'what a shame.' whenever he just cut them out of his life. I was a fool to think I would be any different. Just because he treated me special when I was his friend, I guess it didnt matter after I became his girlfriend. He still cut me out as heartlessly as he did with everyone else. The difference is that: 1) I went NC, and gave up right when it was appropriate to do so. He's surprised I gave up so fast, but i'm not going to go chasing a man who is already ****ing someone else. and 2) I am strong and refuse to be a pawn in whatever game he thinks he can play with me. He hasnt blocked me on FB cause he thinks he can use it to get back in contact with me when he thinks he 'misses' me. He's gonna be shocked to **** that i'm the first girl to tell his ass that I dont want or need him in my life. I'm strong. That is my mantra. I'm strong and i'm not 'just another girl' in his life. He's just another lesson in mine. I'm done thinking about him, and wondering if I mattered. Cause I know I did. I know i'm unforgettable, and I know I was the best thing he's ever had. And I know i'm gonna do better. College is going to be a new chapter in my life. It's not going to be me waiting to hear from him. Best part is, I know exactly what i'm going to say when he comes back asking 'can we be friends?' I'll say the same thing he said when I asked for a second chance. "i'll think about it.' knowing my answer is ultimately, no. C: Turning 18 in 5 days, by the way. I feel like my rant was totally immature and un-eloquent, but I just let it all pour out. Sorry for the curse words. *sigh* It's really hard trying to close the door on this chapter of my life. I'm trying to close the door on my whole high school experience, and focus on moving on to bigger and better things. My poor little heart has been put back together, and is fluttering lightly in my chest. It's going to become strong like I need it to be, once it is done recovering.
Dblock10 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 well your post seems full of highs and lows. i like some of the powerful inspirations that you have told yourself like how he was a lesson in your life. thats kool! but does seem like your very hurt, and you want revenge! telling him you would think about it! you should del and block on fb, but then tbh you know you dont want him now, so just leave it. you are 18 and going to college, i'm sure that will help you move on. sometimes i always think that new events etc is going to change how i feel about my ex, like college or what ever, then when it isnt as good as id imagine it does knock me down a peg or two
Recommended Posts