tigressA Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Romance. What does it mean to you? What sort of actions and/or words denote romance, and why? Do you consider yourself a romantic person? I'll share first, to open the discussion. Romance and me: Not too long ago I received a text from the guy I've been seeing and it was really, really cute. I found I went hours not being able to respond and in the end had to recruit one of my friends for assistance. :laugh: Though I disabled my OKC profile I do remember my personality profile, per the questions I answered, pegged me as 'less romantic' (also less loving and kind). I want to experience romance; I want to give and receive it, but I have struggled with expressing it, even in mere reciprocation.
MrCastle Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 I really think it depends on the people involved. I don't think there are things that are inherently romantic. What one person finds romantic, another might find cheesy, or over the top. I'm pretty romantic, in the sense that my main focus in dating is pleasing the girl and giving her an experience she's never had before, whatever that may be.
USMCHokie Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 The current ladyfriend says I'm romantic...and brought out a romantic side in her she hasn't seen in a long time...and she summed it up when I asked her the very question you are asking, by saying that romance is your collective actions that show you care about her and think about her, all done without her asking or expecting it...and it seems that's the key distinction...
TaraMaiden Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 My romantic psyche died a death many years ago, when I discovered that 'loving relationships' rarely, if ever, emulated the Hollywood romantic Ideal. From "Gone with the Wind" to 'Sleepless in Seattle" it's all schmaltz. Cynicism bedded in shortly after, and a constant dose of reality, heavily peppered with disappointment, now ensures the gagging reflex whenever Valentine's Day comes round.... Reality tells me that my Cynical Disappointment is neither misplaced, nor rare.... 2
Author tigressA Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 The current ladyfriend says I'm romantic...and brought out a romantic side in her she hasn't seen in a long time...and she summed it up when I asked her the very question you are asking, by saying that romance is your collective actions that show you care about her and think about her, all done without her asking or expecting it...and it seems that's the key distinction... I like that. And from that definition I know for sure I am not very romantic at all.
ThaWholigan Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 People generally think of romance as typically cheesy things like going for dinner at candlelight, flowers and trips to parks and stuff etc. Sweet texts and sweet nothings etc.... My little brother's 1st LTR was like this. He was always going to restaurants, taking her on trips, corny pics and typically sweet stuff . He always gets bored in the end, which I put down to the kind of girl he chooses to have LTRs with. I digress.... I consider myself to be a romantic guy, but I'm not really into the really corny stuff. I'm romantic in the sense that I will cook you meals when you're sick, or give you a massage/foot rub after a long day or something like that. Practical romance, I would call it . I would do the other stuff too though, but a little cheesy for me. In contrast, the girls I've liked are not really romantic, but more risque, and into the seduction rather than the romance. They are kinda straight to the point, and romance is different to them. I can dig it, because I like to be direct too, and I thrive on the practical side of romance rather than the cheesy platitude side of it that people love (which I also like too, but it's not my preferred mode of romantic expression). 1
Author tigressA Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 (edited) In contrast, the girls I've liked are not really romantic, but more risque, and into the seduction rather than the romance. They are kinda straight to the point, and romance is different to them. I can dig it, because I like to be direct too, and I thrive on the practical side of romance rather than the cheesy platitude side of it that people love (which I also like too, but it's not my preferred mode of romantic expression). "You look delicious" + neck bite + clothes coming off = My kind of romance Edited August 11, 2012 by tigressA 1
ThaWholigan Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 "You look delicious" + neck bite + clothes coming off = My kind of romance My point exactly . There are so many dynamics to romance, it's like having more than one playground to play in, with different apparatuses.
veggirl Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Romance conjures up serious images for me--candle lit dinners, serious conversations about our love, all that kinda stuff. It makes me uncomfortable :laugh: I like comfort and casual. I think my bf wishes I was a little more romantic. 1
EasyHeart Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Romance. What does it mean to you? Beer and boobies. (And the beer is optional).
El Brujo Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Oh... I thought this thread was about that other R-word... The “r” Word Campaign
threebyfate Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Must admit that H. did sweep me off my feet with his romantic and chivalrous nature. No poetry quoting but plenty of romantic dinners, walks, flowers, sweetness, seduction, courtesy and respect. It hasn't stopped, even though I'm the mother of his firstborn and soon to be secondborn. Wouldn't trade him for the world! 1
Art_Critic Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Changing the channel to something she likes before having sex 1
johan Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Oh... I thought this thread was about that other R-word... Rectum? Same here. 1
anne1707 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Romance... It can be the old cliche - dinner, flowers, opening doors for her.... It can also just be a moment that you share in the middle of a busy street, even on a crowded bus. That moment when all you are aware of is just each other. Now that's romance 1
Author tigressA Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 It can also just be a moment that you share in the middle of a busy street, even on a crowded bus. That moment when all you are aware of is just each other. Now that's romance I had a moment like that once, when I was with my ex. We were on the subway in NYC and it was really crowded; we were standing next to each other. We just kept looking into each other's eyes...he was holding me against him..we were whispering to each other and smiling. It really was like we were the only people on the train the whole time.
Ruby Slippers Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 Romance conjures up serious images for me--candle lit dinners, serious conversations about our love, all that kinda stuff. It makes me uncomfortable :laugh: I like comfort and casual. I think my bf wishes I was a little more romantic. Make a reservation at an Italian restaurant with ambiance, dim lighting, amazing food. Wear a little black dress. Enjoy lots of wine. Have wild sex when you get home. Savor biscotti and coffee for breakfast 2
miss_jaclynrae Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 Small things done without being ask. Sweet things spoken out of pure want to say them. I am not a sexual person, so sexual romance doesn't mean much. Gifts don't mean much either unless they are specifically fit to me. It can be simple to me, like coming home to my favorite bottle of wine on the table. Small gestures and simple words mean a lot to me, they show that they have not only taken the time to get to know me, but have remembered things that aren't touched on the daily. Cheesiness goes a long way with me too, pampering is always nice, but something small like saying "that is why I adore you" after I do something completely dorky and completely ME is something that will make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
monkey00 Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 Romance. What does it mean to you? What sort of actions and/or words denote romance, and why? Do you consider yourself a romantic person? I'll share first, to open the discussion. . For me it means showing your vulnerable side, being thoughtful, and expressing your feelings, whether orally, by action, or body language to the other person. A lot of times, it can be the little everyday things that count too that you do for your SO that many people can take for granted. I don't necessarily consider myself a romantic person. Although I do have that ability, it only comes out once in a blue moon and only for that one person in my life who deserves it the most. Who makes me jump through hoops and go out of my way to make them happy.
Eternal Sunshine Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 I am very romantic and couldn't date a guy that is not. I would feel like he is too cold for me. I am only into sexual type of romance after feelings have been established. Otherwise, I feel like I am being used for sex
mortensorchid Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 What a question! And I hope I answer it the best way possible : Say "romance" and people automatically think of diamonds and roses and candlelight dinners. And then when you think of these things, you are either all smiles or completely repulsed. Why for either? Because we are slaves to capitalism. We have been told by countless media sources (commericals, print ads in fashion magazines, jewelry sales, etc.) that they only way to show a person that you care for them is to spend on them. Unconciously, we become gold diggers without realizing that we have been conditioned to become so. But ... That being said, what is romance? It's a million and one little things that don't cost a dime, it's showing the other person that you care. A smile across the room, petting their hand, telling them "I love you" and meaning it. That's what romance is, and people tend to forget about that. 1
udolipixie Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 Romance to me is emotionnal attraction's expressive and pleasurable feelings. The sort of actions and words I consider romantic are ones expressing a deep strong emotional desire to intimately connect non sexually. I consider myself a romantic person as in most of my friendships with my gal pals have been romantic.
veggirl Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 I have had "sexual romance" with very few people. Most notably my current bf, oh gosh made me feel like I hadn't "made love" ever in my life. I never use that term, it sounds so cheesy, and I always was more rough and tumble sexy times kinda gal but ooh gosh:love::love::love: I like the little gestures too, like the postcards he sends me when he goes out of town for just a weekend.
Author tigressA Posted August 12, 2012 Author Posted August 12, 2012 I have had "sexual romance" with very few people. Most notably my current bf, oh gosh made me feel like I hadn't "made love" ever in my life. I never use that term, it sounds so cheesy, and I always was more rough and tumble sexy times kinda gal but ooh gosh:love::love::love: I hate that term as well; I'm in agreement that it's super-cheesy! I can't even bring myself to write it here!
Ninjainpajamas Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 Romance for me is not completely typical. Put me at a candlelit dinner table with dim lighting, roses, combined with a fine wine..a woman in an elegant dress and that may sound "romantic" on paper but It really depends who that person is. What really adds an element to romanticism is how you feel about the other person, so it has to come with a lot of emotional passion for the other for me or I will not be completely in tune with the moment. For myself the connection, the comfort in knowing what you share, the emotional communication and expression is really what drives the moment and experience...the the ambient and cliche environment only serves as a backdrop. I'm someone who appreciates the small things...I derive the most elegant of memories from the in-between...the unintentional, spontaneous moments that you never planned that feel the best and hit the hardest because they are the most natural and flowing...without effort is very important to me as I don't want to fabricate my own romanticism with something that really isn't there, just in my own head. Having to stage an environment is not as satisfying for me although I don't think It should necessarily be neglected, I think there is a form of expression in showing your appreciation, fondness and emotion for a woman. I think for a man It's doing the things you may not necessarily want to do out of your own desire but do It anyway because you know it will make her feel that way. I'd still like to travel to Paris, or other countries and experience those "romantic" cliches with my partner. I believe in thoughtful notes or gestures of appreciation and admiration...which is how I typically feel when I am emotional invested with someone..I feel an overwhelming sense of affection for them that can hardly be contained. However I don't believe in creating or attempting these moments with everyone I date or have a relationship with. I do reserve myself and some acts for only those I feel completely compelled and invested in emotionally...I would never want to treat every woman the same just because I want to call myself a romantic or a suave guy...I honestly despise that behavior to a degree because I feel It's an easy form of manipulation by men trying to compensate for their true level of emotional investment...these things are merely to "sweep" a girl off her feet in the most cliche of gestures. Fortunately most men aren't even good at pretending or lack the desire to do so. If I'm being honest It's mostly women who materialize the "romance" in a relationship when I can clearly see the man is not anywhere near the level of emotional investment, and the man hardly has expressed much genuine qualities, expression or even so much as forced himself out of his own ideals of how he desires to treat a woman...although I believe that's how a man feels when he truly values and desires a woman and she's not just making it easy for him by falling into his hands for the "potential" that she desires. Hate to make that negative turn..but I feel so many things are stripped of their value and true worth in this day in age because everything's become so cheap and expendable. Everything learned and processed is from movies or what other people say or think love and romance is but never hopes to achieve...I don't really see people digging for something better, rather than figuring out ways on how to trick themselves into accepting what's on the surface and calling it "reality"...or at least their romantic reality in fact. People forget where all these thoughts and ideas were created...which were from the emotions and ideas of men and woman because this is how we feel, or at least some of us...romantics or those of believed in something greater and more profound. Yet some people have forfeited those beliefs in favor of unknowns like the outer rim of space (if one exists) or new or current religions, new-found spirituality because those things are "realistic" or "reality". I think you choose what you believe in and how you want to live and what you want to live for, and If you sacrifice your own beliefs and desires for something tangible in the "real world" that's your own choice. If there's one thing I'm grateful of in this world is my ability to judge and determine the "reality" for myself..and what is important and means something to me...regardless of whether it aligns with the popular ideal. 1
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