Brokendude Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 I finally decided to go out last night for the first time in a month, i have been healing this whole time and been focused on myself, work, and school. I went out just to have fun and to a place knowing she wont be there, weve been NC for 4 weeks now. I ran into this girl i used to work with and she nver left my side. She is a very attractive girl and though i was never a one night stand kind of guy i ended up takin her home and u guys kno what happened after. The sex was great but did nothing for me i was even weirded out when she tried to cuddle after and my heart raced and unfortunately missed my ex tremendously. I spent the next 3 hours next to this sleeping girl trying to shut my brain off but it was rather painful. After she left i couldnt sleep and i feel even emptier now, Ahh this is so tough i feel lonelier than ever and i miss her more than ever. my heart is racing and i feel restless and just like a zombie
Tree_Salmon Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 I finally decided to go out last night for the first time in a month, i have been healing this whole time and been focused on myself, work, and school. I went out just to have fun and to a place knowing she wont be there, weve been NC for 4 weeks now. I ran into this girl i used to work with and she nver left my side. She is a very attractive girl and though i was never a one night stand kind of guy i ended up takin her home and u guys kno what happened after. The sex was great but did nothing for me i was even weirded out when she tried to cuddle after and my heart raced and unfortunately missed my ex tremendously. I spent the next 3 hours next to this sleeping girl trying to shut my brain off but it was rather painful. After she left i couldnt sleep and i feel even emptier now, Ahh this is so tough i feel lonelier than ever and i miss her more than ever. my heart is racing and i feel restless and just like a zombie You probably feel like you arent being loyal to her by being with someone else. But the reality is you're single and can do whatever you want. Trust me i know how you feel, that's why you need to stop yourself from just having sex with people. You wanted to feel that great connection again but it wasn't just sex. Don't be hard on yourself. Just move forward. She may be doing the same 1
Author Brokendude Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 Thanks tree, i understand what ur saying. It was really just weird and stuff, def lesson learned, this has just been such a miserable morning, thank u for giving me ur input
barese1 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 I've been there before. Had great sex with a one night stand and spent the whole time feeling terrible. It just shows you're not ready for it yet, don't be too hard on yourself. Give yourself some more time and the next girl you sleep with, you'll just appreciate her rather than miss the ex. Early on you feel guilty and just wrong but when you start to move on taht won't happen. I say that, been NC 2.5 months now and plan to sleep with a girl this week. It may help this time, it may not. There's only one way to find out though!
weallfalldown Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 it's only natural to feel like that...it is wierd...makes you want your ex more....it aint good.
Dblock10 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 yeah i used to feel like that during the early stages, maybe i'm more over my ex than i am thinking. i will say that it takes time, after say 2 or 3 you won't be feeling guilty or weird
g450 Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 it's only natural to feel like that...it is wierd...makes you want your ex more....it aint good. Yeah that aint good at all. First time for me it was wierd as well. I felt like I was cheating on my XW as strange as that sounds. It was in our old marriage bed. I felt dirty afterwards, and not in the good way. But one thing I can absolutely say is that prior to that I had very low self esteem. Having had sex with a woman who I considered a friend at that time lifted me up and gave me back my confidence. You OTOH might want to refrain for ONS until you get your head or heart straight. I do feel for you though. Just find a hobby or use Palma and her five sisters for now.
Occu3.14'd Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 Dude, if you scored on your first night back, good for you. I know it doesn't change anything though. I'm at a bar right now, and not a single woman does anything for me. Oh, and I'm posting on LS, so that should tell you how much fun I'm having...
Author Brokendude Posted August 12, 2012 Author Posted August 12, 2012 Occu, keep ur head up! Im not a scoring kinda guy do to me it was nothing but sex, didnt affect my healing
k100danny Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 I totally get where you ar coming from. I have had the chance to sleep within someone but kind of held back and im glad, I have spent a lot of time with a girl the last couple of weeks and I too have that weird feeling, it isn't the same ect. I did feel guilty and i suppose this is because we are in some way still connected to our ex and arent ready to feel that again. I know i find people very attractive and i imagine sleeping with other girls but at the minute i know i would not be feeling something that they maybe wanted so im trying not to do the whole rebound thing and i have been very honest with her. A month today was the last time i contacted my ex saying goodbye and best of luck ect then i blocked her from everything. She moved on quickly or so i think she was seeing someone a couple of weeks after telling me she will always love me and contacting me out of the blue saying she thinks of me everyday but she is the type of person who is never single for long. I guess everyone is different and I personally dont move on that quick, I invest a lot in relationships and when they dont work I find it hard to just jump onto the next person. Im sure it will just take time fo us, hopefully it will allow me to make better choices.
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