jayy23 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 So thats me on 35days of nc since the last time I spoke to her. she hasn't tried to contact me atall in the 35days I was hoping that she would have but it's not happened. It's not been as hard as I thought it was goina be but don't get me wrong thr has been days when all I have wanted to do was call her but I stuck to it and did not contact her. I'm still really wanting her to contact me tho it's annoying that she hasn't.
whatdoesntkillyou Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Then contact her. Say something interesting that she'll appreciate, and then say, hey, got to go, we should catch up soon. If she still wants to talk, she'll give some indication. If she doesn't, she's probably not interested in talking, for one reason or another - at least you'd know. Was the break up messy?
barese1 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Why would he contact her?? If she wants to call you she will, why would you put yourself thorugh the pain of contacting her now. Mate lots of us are there. The exs know how we feel, if they change their minds they'll be in touch. I'm about 2 and a half months NC and never heard from her. Shes moved on and doesn't care. It sucks but me calling won't change that so i wouldn't advise it for you if she knows how you feel
whatdoesntkillyou Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 How do you know if she doesn't have the same thing in mind and thinks you have moved on and not care?
barese1 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 i wanted to believe so much she wanted to give it another go but I knew she didn't so in my case it didn't matter. If your ex knows how you feel then it doesn't matter if you block them, you are just trying to move on. Also if you had moved on you wouldn't need to block them so they will get it. Its about you not the ex
big bear Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 I agree,, NC The risk is if you contact her, the pain might resurface,, happened to me after 30 days,, Not worth it at all..
barese1 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 we all want to contact our exs, nearly every minute of the day. the one who don't realise that no new contact = no new pain. It really is that simple. The fear they will be out of your life for good is horrible but when they ended it you basically were out of their life 2
big bear Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 The fear they will be out of your life for good is horrible but when they ended it you basically were out of their life Beautifully said!!
barese1 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Its not thie nicest thing to hear but its true. Just try and hold on to that thought. Good luck mate, we're all here with you
Author jayy23 Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 Then contact her. Say something interesting that she'll appreciate, and then say, hey, got to go, we should catch up soon. If she still wants to talk, she'll give some indication. If she doesn't, she's probably not interested in talking, for one reason or another - at least you'd know. Was the break up messy? Nah it wasn't a messy break up atall she did say after a few months she would be willing to meet up for a drink and she wants to stay friends. But as barese1 said if she wants to contact me she will if not then it's her loss. 1
Dblock10 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 (edited) sorry jay. see this is the thing, the advice id give about nc is only do it when you can or are ready to... premature nc will leave you clinging onto hope that your ex may contact you... and that can eat you for months even years. you have to get closure i went nc 5 weeks ago and she shot me a msg, just a generic one but still. im not reading into it and i dont beleive its got anything to do with us getting back together. if she hadnt of sent it, i wouldnt have made an effort to reach out, not after getting closure. but fact she made effort on some level, i thought id be polite and reply. i have no hope, or am holding onto any hope for us. my break up wasn't messy either as such, and we stayed in touch, she even came back after a year! still had feelings for one another, but she doesn't want to be in a relationship and is still happy doing her own thing. so if you love someone you let them go. who knows if paths may cross in the future. but yeah if hope exists that can be hard to keep up nc thats for sure. Edited August 11, 2012 by Dblock10
Author jayy23 Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 sorry jay. see this is the thing, the advice id give about nc is only do it when you can or are ready to... premature nc will leave you clinging onto hope that your ex may contact you... and that can eat you for months even years. you have to get closure i went nc 5 weeks ago and she shot me a msg, just a generic one but still. im not reading into it and i dont beleive its got anything to do with us getting back together. if she hadnt of sent it, i wouldnt have made an effort to reach out, not after getting closure. but fact she made effort on some level, i thought id be polite and reply. i have no hope, or am holding onto any hope for us. my break up wasn't messy either as such, and we stayed in touch, she even came back after a year! still had feelings for one another, but she doesn't want to be in a relationship and is still happy doing her own thing. so if you love someone you let them go. who knows if paths may cross in the future. Yeah I can understand that. Truth is I am pretty much just waiting on her contacting me because last we spoke she said she would and that we could meet up when she felt that we were both over each other so I'm just holding on to hope. Deep down I think I know that it's over and me and her will never be. I'm not actually all that bothered anymore tho but it would be good to here from her and if anything else came out of it then that would just be a bonus
libraamour Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Don't contact her. I know it's hard. I'm doing the same thing. Not nearly as long as you have, but she has your number, if she wanted to call, she would have. I promise you, if you call her, you'll end up feeling a lot worse than you feel now.
weallfalldown Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 NC is advised, but to be honest you can contact them forever and a day, and eventually you'll get bored of it anyway.......
Dblock10 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Yeah I can understand that. Truth is I am pretty much just waiting on her contacting me because last we spoke she said she would and that we could meet up when she felt that we were both over each other so I'm just holding on to hope. Deep down I think I know that it's over and me and her will never be. I'm not actually all that bothered anymore tho but it would be good to here from her and if anything else came out of it then that would just be a bonus ok but why are you confused, she has told you that she would contact or you guys would meet when she feels your both over each other... that means she will be doing all in her power right now to get over you. girls do that. so this hope that she will contact then you meet and for her to feel something and want you back, is well.. pretty slim. not impossible, but i think you know in your gut what the down low is.
soccerrprp Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Maintain NC. Do things for yourself and date again, rebuild your confidence, body, mind so that you are ready for the next wonderful lady...maybe, unlikely, it could be your ex, but there's nothing better than moving on, finding someone else and showing your ex that you are better than before and her wondering....
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