irc333 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 Now, I know some men have said "don't make yourself too available", but I think with women....it might be a different story. I have a friend that's met this really nice lady, very smart, witty, and attractive...and she's into him. Then had been on a date once, but recently he's thinking she's moving too fast, like she and her were at a pool party at a friend's house, however, she was dropping hints that she wanted to hold hands and was making remarks about how other dating couples at the party were snugglin up with each other by saying, "Oh, look at those two....isn't that sweet?" Basically, she's giving OBVIOUS signals of interest, and he's not reciprocating because he doesn't want other people/friends to think they're a couple just yet. As far as he's concerned....he's kind of still in the getting to know you process. And of course, doesn't want to move too fast. Moving too fast, to me...would be going home the first night to have sex....and she's simply wanting to be touched. And I'm like, "Um...dude, she's dropping hints of interests, you can knock off the act now!!" But, it's not an act actually. He's one of those guys that does the opposite of what other men do. Instead of swarming an attractive woman that enters the room (along with 2 or 3 other men, all talking ot her at one time) He sits back and just mingles with other people....EVEN though he did notice her attractiveness...he deliberately avoids talking to her TOO quickly. I'm kind of like that myself. But, I think he REALLY takes it to the extreme...EVEN to the point where the woman is showing obvious interest he STILL does it. That's where I even draw the line. LOL So I figure he's not really into her, or he is kind of oblivious to what he's doing. If he restrains himself from physical touch for TOO long, she'll find someone that will. That being said, I might say, "Hey, if you don't want her, I'll take her off your hands! LOL"
Els Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 I think you completely misconstrued what this guy is all about. The key words, to me, would be 'he's kind of still in the getting to know you process'. That signifies to me that he wants to know a woman as a person before getting involved with her, instead of making a bee-line for the hottest woman in the room in hopes of getting laid tonight. That's a good thing, in my books. YOU are turning it into a game of 'don't make yourself too available', 'deliberately avoid talking to her too quickly so that she doesn't lose interest in you', etc.. in which you would inevitably fail because it is all an act. That is a completely different thing. YOU are desperate for women and are trying to play aloof because you think it will get them interested - but it is all still borne out of desperation.
Author irc333 Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 (edited) I think you completely misconstrued what this guy is all about. The key words, to me, would be 'he's kind of still in the getting to know you process'. That signifies to me that he wants to know a woman as a person before getting involved with her, instead of making a bee-line for the hottest woman in the room in hopes of getting laid tonight. That's a good thing, in my books. Yes, and I'm also saying it's a good thing, too. I even do that myself. But I"m saying when he finally GETS a woman who is showing interest in him....and he's seemingly not catching on....I might, as a friend, advise him, "Hey, just some advice....she's into you....hold her hand if she wants to." So I think you're misunderstanding what I'm saying YOU are turning it into a game of 'don't make yourself too available' No I am not, this can be with both men and women. Being TOO available shows that you're desperate....nothing game-ish about it. , 'deliberately avoid talking to her too quickly so that she doesn't lose interest in you', etc.. in which you would inevitably fail because it is all an act. That is a completely different thing. YOU are desperate for women and are trying to play aloof because you think it will get them interested - but it is all still borne out of desperation. So you're under the impression this is all just an "act" on my part, but not my friends? LOL My friend has been reading and watching videos of some PUA's (purchased a rather sizable collection, so he's probably going off of that), but...I just think he hasn't found a balance with this woman yet. I'm just saying he's going the extreme the OTHER way. She wants affection, but he's not giving it to her....at least not yet....maybe he will eventually...she seems like a patient person so we'll see. I'm just saying I'd hold her hand the moment she drops the hint that she wants to. Edited August 11, 2012 by irc333
Els Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 My bad. Both of you are putting on an act and likely to fail, then. Refer to my first paragraph in the above post, for what I believe is far more likely to succeed.
Author irc333 Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 My bad. Both of you are putting on an act and likely to fail, then. Refer to my first paragraph in the above post, for what I believe is far more likely to succeed. Well, I fail because I don't play games. LOL Well, that's according to some people.
Author irc333 Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 I just had a thought, I call my dad, being as old-fashioned as HE is, saying to wait 2 WEEKS before calling a woman after a date. HE said he did that with my mom....so being "not too available" is nothing new.
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