Dblock10 Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 what are people views on this, you go into nc, then the ex msgs you 5 weeks later, asking about your weekend and have you been up to much? do you all think, this is bread crumbs, or do you think its them being friendly now. how do you know how to take it? the ex making contact could mean a whole varity of things so how do you know if you should reply (when you know there is no hope and you know that they have told you they want to be single) or do you reply and just take it on the chin, as in, dont over think the meaning (if there even is one) and just reply how you would to a friend i havent replied its been 7 days since she sent that msg and prior to this she sent a msg apologising for not being able to go on aim with me (back when we spoke everyday)
whatdoesntkillyou Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 What was the circumstances of your BU? Who broke up with whom? Was it a bad break up? It all depends! I think before you consider replying or contacting you need to know where you stand in terms of you two. Do you want to be friends? Do you want to move on? Do you want to get back with your ex? I think in general it's a bit late to reply after 7 days. If you want to be in contact with your ex, you will need to make a fresh contact (rather than framing it like a reply.) Talking 7 days to reply is discourteous IMHO.
Author Dblock10 Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 she left to travel, and didnt want to stay committed. she came back after a year, hooked up again both said how we still had feelings.. now shes gone again poss for another year. she has told me she is happy being single and meeting me didnt change her wanting to be back with me. ive always wanted to be back with her, but its not on the cards. yeah i guess 7 days is a while could wait and see if she msgs me again :/
whatdoesntkillyou Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 I think in that case it's good to maintain contact - she's away and if she comes back, whatever happens away stays away, right? So if you keep on friendly terms, but not so friendly that she takes you for granted, there is no reason why you wouldn't get be back together. Eventually she would be sick of travelling and want to settle down, and you don't want to be estranged. I think you should consider messaging her and saying hey, how have you been, I have been so busy lately. Or tell her something she'd be interested and that reflects what you have in common for a more personal touch? I think it'd be hard for her to message again if she had no reply for the first one!
Author Dblock10 Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 i was thinking that, how do i make sure she wont take me for granted? i might say hey just picked ur msg up, been really busy etc
weallfalldown Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 what so she ****s off here and there to enjoy herself and do her own thing, but then you run to her when she's back?......she's havin a laugh
Author Dblock10 Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 (edited) yeah well thats whats stopped me from messaging her back and wanting to move on, because its hard. i have also thought by staying friends or in contact that it may make her transition into moving on a lot easier.. or more to the point get a new bf, but that will happen regardless of wether i speak to her or not. the first time she went away and i hung on, always starting the contact, didn't stop her sleeping with other guys. i think ultimately everyone has an opinion and it comes down to 'this is life' you either deal with your problems as best as you can or run from them if you no longer wish to be in a situation. i know she isnt coming back "to me" and i wont hold out "hope" like i did last time. but i also wont run away and pretend the world doesnt keep spinning. i met some lovely girls before but held back because i knew that id meet my ex again, this time its different, in a way i realise what i want no longer exists, times changed. she has changed to me, grown and wants different things. if she says or does anything that hurts me then ill put my foot down, tell her and then go from there. in the mean time i plan to live my life and follow my own path everyone goes through hard times and i think its how you deal with a situation that will help you grow as a person. to put it into perspective i was with her 8 months, its not like we had a house and a baby, some people are in much worse situations than me and if i cant handle this now, how on earth will i handle heavier stuff in the future if i'm unfortunate to experience it ps i think i have an un healthy addiction to LS Edited August 11, 2012 by Dblock10
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