My relatioship is all over the place

[KharmaB]

My boyfriend is incarcerated and will be for at least the next two years he has been gone for almost 2 years now. Before he went to jail he did the ultimate and cheated on me. It wasn't long after the act that i found out about it. I was devastated of course and it took time for me to forgive him part of so was the situation he ended up in why is in jail. Since then of course he claims he is going to change and make things right between us. I am not going to say I fell for all his talk because in the midst of all the time has past I have managed to fall in love with him all over again. But I had a breaking point to where I though sweet revenge was necessary so I did and felt bad. I realized I am not that kind of person and I really do love him and miss him. I told him about my encounters and open and shut relationship at the time. We made amends and everything was going steady until Christmas of last year. Which brings me back to his cheating. I found out the woman he slept with was claiming to have had his baby and filed child support. I am still wondering how can they order him to pay it with out burden of proof that he is the father. I was in question about the paternity just as he was until I seened the child and did the math. I am sure the child is his. I forgave him for his actions at first thinking it was something I could forgive and forget. But now how can I do that with a constant reminder that you gave this woman a child. We have no kids together. I have a four you old daughter and next to her father he is the only man she knows and she looks at him as such. I just can't deal with being a step mother to a kid I feel like shouldn't be here. I know it sounds wrong but he was the person that messed up not me. But I know I will look like the bad person if I stay in the relationship and not want to do with this child. He as 3 other children from a previous relationship. I don't mind that I knew what I was getting myself into with that. I love him I want to wait on him and do everything we said we were going to do. But I don't want to deal with another person in our relationship. I think about the future in all this if we have a kid that is 6 kids between us and I did want to have at least 2 kids. I just feel like he is forcing my hand. I don't know what to do.