Ronen Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 Any insight? My b/f broke up with me 5 months ago, and I'm still not over him! We were having a long distance relationship for 1.5 years. I thought he was the one! When he ended things, he was ambivalent about it all. He said he was confused and overwhelmed and he couldn't take the fighting anymore. So I have been standing idle, waiting for the confusion to clear. I have since moved to the same city as him (w/ in the past month)...not b/c I'm a stalker, this was a decision made for school. He continues to contact me, and continues to say that he's confused. He says he wants to be a part of my life and a friend for now. The times we have spent together since I moved here have been fun, but he rejects anything physical. I feel like I'm going through the break up all over again (now that I know I am in the same city and close yet it hasn't changed anything)! He still claims that we had pre-existing problems that won't just go away. Yet, he's not trying to work on those problems. I feel he's trying to get on with his life and not giving me a final answer as to what he wants or how he feels for me? I know it's best to move on, give up, get on with it, but I can't! I want him! What can I do? Do you think it's okay for me to ask if he's dating anyone? For instance, the other night I invited him over to my place, he said he was doing laundry, but that he'd call me back later and let me know if he could come. Then he called around 10:30 pm and came over. Nothing romantic happened, but he stayed a couple hours and we just goofed around. Would he do that if he were dating someone?
princess75 Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 Please, please...please. I know it is very very very very difficult to be alone in a city you have just moved to but try to be alone. Focus on your career, on making new friends and TRUST me on this one ...if it is meant to be it will be. Otherwise, someone else will be. I know right now you feel he is the one...but remember "The One" doesn't hurt. And if there are problems you would both sit and try to solve it, not you trying to solve it .....to make it work. I have been there. I will tell you, I finished my grad-school and moved to the city my ex bf was in. After 2 months moving, he broke up and within 1 week started going out with another girl. Gee, you figure where the live is? Please, please, don't let him come over if you still believe u love him. Do not make the same mistake I did. This will only ruin it all...even if you guys come back together..if you are attached to him and you love him, you will blame him later...if you guys patch up .Unless you have a lot of confidence in yourself and self understanding that he is confused or something. Trust me! If the guy is confused let him be in his confusion. If he comes back he is your ..otherwise he never was. Look at me my ex did come back to me. I was so angry with him, and he did try to do it good again, but it just never was the same. If you check other of my posts , you will..read what you are going through is what I went through. We ended up...according to what I believe in an abusive relationship. Now, I like another man, and I am going really really slow, not to get hurt again . And things are much easier and happiness prevails. And I know that, even though he many not be felt as "the one" 100% I am happy beside him. And I have all the butterflies in the stomach...so it is a great beginning! Where is my ex nowadays? He calls me one week, ago to dump me because I started going out with the new guy. He never wanted me in the first place, but he cant tolerate me being happy it seems. Check my posts, and see in me what you are going through. Take care Focus on your career!
Author Ronen Posted July 14, 2004 Author Posted July 14, 2004 My situation is just so sad. I want to move on, I want to focus on other things, but I can't and I can't stop thinking about him! I wish there was some quick fix, or I wish I could read his mind, to find out what is going on in his head or to once and for all know the truth and be able to try again w/ him or move on. How do guys think? I know women obsess, and create mini drama in their heads, but if he though of me, as much as I do him, I think he would try harder to get together, or check in to see how I'm doing, or take me out or something. That is my fantasy, but I fear the reality is that he wants to date other people, and that he doesn't want to be with me right now. Any guys have opinions?
teressa0397 Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 Originally posted by Ronen My situation is just so sad. I want to move on, I want to focus on other things, but I can't and I can't stop thinking about him! I wish there was some quick fix, or I wish I could read his mind, to find out what is going on in his head or to once and for all know the truth and be able to try again w/ him or move on. How do guys think? I know women obsess, and create mini drama in their heads, but if he though of me, as much as I do him, I think he would try harder to get together, or check in to see how I'm doing, or take me out or something. That is my fantasy, but I fear the reality is that he wants to date other people, and that he doesn't want to be with me right now. Any guys have opinions? its best to moved on if you love him let him go if he really cares for you he will come back give it some time if he doesn"t ?move on with your life; if he is with some one else you don't need him; fine some one else; hope i help;
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