Mount Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Often I saw the posts from OWs that are telling their stories the MMs, and the length of As is usually quite significant, i.e. 3 years, 5 years...etc. As for my personal expereince, up to now is around 80 days, which is already making my emotion exhausted (as everyone here could tell), so how come you guys (OWs) so strong, can endure, or handle so long?
veryhappy Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Get out now! 3 weeks ago you wrote the A didn't feel intense, and now you are exhausted after almost 3 months? Please stop. What goals do you have with having this affair? At 3 or 5 years or more, I don't know if it's about being strong. It's probably more about not having the power to let go and feeling too invested. I'd say within a year things go some way; one either wants a relationship, or wants out because it fizzled. I believe it's hard after a year for things not to change one way or the other for at least one of the parts involved. Most affairs last under 2 years because the wear and tear and the exhausting emotions. I love when I read that it's supposed to be this perfect happy bubble. It is...for a while, and then if it's so perfect one or both AP want more. 1
Author Mount Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 Guess I do get out now after we both hold on silent treatment then the MM "won the gold medal" sent txt msg saying we probably should not see each other today although he does want me know he still love me very much and always will...blah...blah..blah. Get out now! 3 weeks ago you wrote the A didn't feel intense, and now you are exhausted after almost 3 months? Please stop. What goals do you have with having this affair? At 3 or 5 years or more, I don't know if it's about being strong. It's probably more about not having the power to let go and feeling too invested. I'd say within a year things go some way; one either wants a relationship, or wants out because it fizzled. I believe it's hard after a year for things not to change one way or the other for at least one of the parts involved. Most affairs last under 2 years because the wear and tear and the exhausting emotions. I love when I read that it's supposed to be this perfect happy bubble. It is...for a while, and then if it's so perfect one or both AP want more.
veryhappy Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 You can reply "we should not see each other...AGAIN" and then completely stop. Let him deal with the shock of that during a weekend when he's counting on enjoying his cozy life. There's no gold medal to win. You just seem to have no reasons to continue, do you? For the pain, it should at least be great when it's good.
Author Mount Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 (edited) I did reply simply with two words "I agree". Yes truly I dont see any benefit for continuing the A, it makes me exhausted:( Just to clarify that the txt msg from MM was saying "we probably should not see each other anymore although he does want me know he still love me very much and he will always love me...etc (from my perspective they are the classic lines from cheating men)". You can reply "we should not see each other...AGAIN" and then completely stop. Let him deal with the shock of that during a weekend when he's counting on enjoying his cozy life. There's no gold medal to win. You just seem to have no reasons to continue, do you? For the pain, it should at least be great when it's good. Edited August 10, 2012 by Mount
Happyface Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 NOthing strong about me. I was in an A for 3 years. The longer it went on the more stressed and miserable I became. I also became more attached to the MM and it was very difficult to turn and walk away. It was a Dday that finally did it for me. I no longer want to be in the A after 18 months of being out of it. It's much more peaceful and I can finally be myself again, without have a secret life. When I reflect on xMM, he could have written a book on how to conduct and affair. I guess he had a lot of expertise and experience when he met me. I just didn't realise it until recently. It was something I had never done and will never do again. Get out now.. the longer you stay the harder it is. Happyface.
Author Mount Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 I can imagine, it must be hard for you:( during the 3 years. But you said he had expertise on Affair? Do you mean he might have other previous OW? NOthing strong about me. I was in an A for 3 years. The longer it went on the more stressed and miserable I became. I also became more attached to the MM and it was very difficult to turn and walk away. It was a Dday that finally did it for me. I no longer want to be in the A after 18 months of being out of it. It's much more peaceful and I can finally be myself again, without have a secret life. When I reflect on xMM, he could have written a book on how to conduct and affair. I guess he had a lot of expertise and experience when he met me. I just didn't realise it until recently. It was something I had never done and will never do again. Get out now.. the longer you stay the harder it is. Happyface.
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