Wicked moon Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Hi all, 10 years ago I had a lovely relationship with a man who was then 6 years older than me. We dated for 6 months and decided to have a baby. Our son was born in October 2003 but our inmaturity led to a difficult setting and we split 3 months later. I raised our son on my own and sometimes think it was easy to let go because he never proposed and I was disappointed. 3 years later his pregnant girlfriend texted me informing they had just tied the knot. I was hurt and moved to work very far away with my son. In this new country I started dating a muslim man. After 2 years I returned home and my boyfriend followed me. After being together for 4 years I was pregnant of a girl who was born October 2010. In May the following year we got married. My husband changed and started abusing me phisically as well as mentally. We split about 3 months ago and I filed for divorce. My son commented the situation with his dad and he soon called to offer his support. In the meantime he had 2 boys and confessed was in a difficult relationship himself. His wife is unkind to our son and this hurts us terribly. In a recent chat he asked me what had gone wrong 9 years ago and I just said, we were so young ... Now that I'm alone and fully recovered from a difficult marriage I am having mixed feelings about the father of my son. I am not a home wrecker but I know he is unhappy. I cannot bear the thought of being with anyone else. I barely leave the house but I sense that I'm falling for him again. This would be my sons dream come true. Is this totally absurd? Should I tell him? Please help, any guidance much appreciated. Love, WM
Radu Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Well, all you need to add to this brokenness is breaking up a family. So go for it. It's not like it's your first massive mistake.
M30USA Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Would you being doing it for your son or his father (your ex)? If it's primarily for your son, don't do it. Only reconcile with your ex for the sake of him and nothing else. Otherwise it won't even do your son any good. 1
darkmoon Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Would you being doing it for your son or his father (your ex)? If it's primarily for your son, don't do it. Only reconcile with your ex for the sake of him and nothing else. Otherwise it won't even do your son any good. what makes you say it wouldn't do the son any good? and what situation are you comparing the "good" to?
Author Wicked moon Posted August 11, 2012 Author Posted August 11, 2012 Keep those posts coming please. They get me thinking. I am falling for my ex in spite of him being my sons hero anyways. Yes I am aware I haven't been very lucky in the past and that's why I seek your help and tips. Big thanks - WM
whichwayisup Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 You tell him if he divorces, then maybe you'd consider 'dating' him and getting to know him all over again, but until that happens, it's best to just focus on your child together and be good parents to him. DO NOT start an affair with him, it'll just make things so much worse for everybody involved. 2
M30USA Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 what makes you say it wouldn't do the son any good? and what situation are you comparing the "good" to? All I'm saying is that the children are the result of a functionial, loving relationship between their parents--for it's own sake. The children were not there when the love started. They should not reconcile just for the kids alone. Their love (or lack of love) should be the primary reason. Kids know when their parents are just staying together for them. Quite frankly there's a bit of resentment. 1
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