Author soulforge2010 Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 (edited) good for you, soulforge, i'm glad you are staying strong. delete her emails in future, it seems to me she is trying to manipulate your emotions, consciously or unconsciously. she is no good for you but you are a guy who has a lot of love, trust and devotion to give and you deserve to give it to someone who will return it in kind. still in no contact, had a couple of good days, where i felt strong, but today feeling very low indeed and i miss her.... this lady had dumped me 3 times, yet i still sit here pondering what i could have done better! if i had handled our argument out differently, it might not have come to this! i need your opinion on something guys... as you know we had a disagreement & we ended up sending angry text messages to each other... i decided i did not want to be sucked into a TEXT WAR with her, so i pulled out of the situation for us both to calm down... as i said before, i had no intention of ending things with her & i honestly did not believe she would either, seeing as i took her back, for dumping me 8 months ago... i really believed she would never suggest splitting up again! anyhow 6 hours later i got this text "YOU OBVIOUSLY DO NOT WANT TO WORK THINGS OUT, I WILL BE PICKING MY THINGS UP FROM YOUR PLACE ON SUNDAY, LEAVE THEM OUTSIDE, TAKE CARE, HOPE YOU FIND WHAT YOUR LOOKING FOR" so my natural reaction to this text was shock & felt like she has just thrown in the towel again over something silly. my response to this text was "i had no intention of ending things with you, and was hoping after both of us have calmed down, we could have talked and sorted things out, as you wish, your items will be left outside for you on sunday take care" because i was so hurt by this, i basicly said, you can take your things! her response: thanx for hurting me like this, if you didnt want to be with me, why did you not just say so, why mess me about! i find this so confusing... she sent me that text, basicly wanting to take her things back & a farewell to me... then why accuse me of hurting her & accuse me of not wanting to be with her????? also the next day, she did a complete u-turn and started to claim that she did not end it all? and that we should fight to stay together! so i clearly asked her, do you want me or not? as you keep throwing the towel in, and i can't cope with that... her response: i want you more than anything in the world!! so i told her, we will have to meet and talk things through, she came to meet me the next day, as she walked through the door, she looked so angry! i knew then, this was not a good start, as she is clearly acting like she is the victim here, not a good way of talking things through. i basicly told her, that i feel she is just messing me about, i needed to get this off my chest... as that is how i felt. dumped 3 times? what do u expect. i told her, you need to make your mind up about me? she turned that around on me & said, you need to make up your mind about me? i said, but you are the one who keeps throwing in the towel. she just sat there, claiming to be the victim, raising her voice, then just said she wants her things back & she just walked out on me! what is she doing here? is this childish mind games, or is this her way of getting attention? for example, when she sent me that text, saying she is going to pick up her things & take care.... was she hoping i would say no, please don't do that, i want to be with you, don't take your things blah blah blah? because i said, fine you can take your belongings, did that send her over the edge? Edited August 19, 2012 by soulforge2010
Author soulforge2010 Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 This woman seems mentally unstable. Either that or there was another man in the picture and everytime it didn't work out with him she came running back to you. Everytime she got bored of you and wanted to cheat, she found reasons to start fights with you and end things. The things you described could be worked out in a healthy relationship through communication. Her anger is a tell tale signs of her infidelity. Just my two cents. to be fair, i don't think she was intentionaly starting arguments, but sometimes in a relationship, the odd argument or disagreement does flare up! as for infidelity, i don't believe she was seeing anyone whilst seeing me... but the time when she dumped me for 8 months, 4 weeks after she dumped me, she was back on the dating site, where we originaly met, looking for another man! as you can imagine, this deeply hurt me, felt like i was nothing to her! i never heard anything form her again for them 8 months, she claims she did not date anyone or sleep with anyone in the that 8 month period... i find that a little hard to believe, why did she go back on the dating site. maybe she met someone, who treated her like crap or dumped her, so she decided to come back to me
Author soulforge2010 Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 my guess is, when she sent that text "YOU OBVIOUSLY DO NOT WANT TO WORK THINGS OUT, I WILL BE PICKING MY THINGS UP FROM YOUR PLACE ON SUNDAY, LEAVE THEM OUTSIDE, TAKE CARE, HOPE YOU FIND WHAT YOUR LOOKING FOR" she probably didn't mean it, and prob sent it out of a impulsive emotional response! then when i just explained myself to her, and calmly told her fine, she can take her things back, they will be outside for her to collect.... she took that as rejection!! maybe she was hoping for me to try to get her to change her mind, maybe tell her how much i love her blah blah but i was dumped by this woman twice previously and once for 8 months? a message like that just knocked me sideways, red flags, baiscly the opposite of winning my trust back... how would you guys feel? then the next day, maybe she realised what she has done, and done a complete u-turn and tried to cover that mistake up, and suggested we try to fight and save the relationship but in my heart, the damage is done... at this point i am worried sensless about this ladies commitment to me! so when she came over to talk, i think she just wanted to blame me for the whole thing, and went into deny deny deny mode. i am not claiming to be a saint, maybe i should have handled things differently when we argued..... but i would never just dump my partner over a silly argument or even use it as a threat.... especialy after they have just taken you back, for dumping them in the first place!!
Author soulforge2010 Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 got another email off her today, that is 3 now in the space of one week? don't know what to do. i suppose i should be asking myself... is this a woman who will stand by side, through out my life will she stand by me through the good and bad times, is she someone i can depend on, and completely give myself to? the answer to that is slowly sinking in
KatZee Posted August 19, 2012 Posted August 19, 2012 Why do you keep kicking this dead horse hoping it will somehow come back to life? MENTALLY UNSTABLE. It was said here. This woman is so completely batsh*t crazy and I'm not quite sure how you're not seeing this. She blows hot and cold. She's cool then she flips out. She blames everything on you. She is NOT a normal, sane, individual. It really doesn't matter how many e-mails she sends you. She's chasing you and stalking the crap out of you b/c you've shown yourself to be unavailable. Once she got you back she'd start up acting the way she always does. Do yourself a favor and block her email address. MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. She is not worth a response, and she's not worth all of this time you're spending dwelling on her! Millions and billions of people on this earth and THIS is the woman you obsess over? 1
Author soulforge2010 Posted August 19, 2012 Author Posted August 19, 2012 Why do you keep kicking this dead horse hoping it will somehow come back to life? MENTALLY UNSTABLE. It was said here. This woman is so completely batsh*t crazy and I'm not quite sure how you're not seeing this. She blows hot and cold. She's cool then she flips out. She blames everything on you. She is NOT a normal, sane, individual. It really doesn't matter how many e-mails she sends you. She's chasing you and stalking the crap out of you b/c you've shown yourself to be unavailable. Once she got you back she'd start up acting the way she always does. Do yourself a favor and block her email address. MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. She is not worth a response, and she's not worth all of this time you're spending dwelling on her! Millions and billions of people on this earth and THIS is the woman you obsess over? i,m not sure about her being mentaly unstable, but i would agree she is emotionly unstable, also quite self centred and is more concerned about her own feelings than mine... that is why, she never does anything wrong, even when it is blatant and obvious to the rest of the world she does! i just wanted to gague some opinion on her frame of mind, the day we split, that is all. still sticking to no contact
Author soulforge2010 Posted August 21, 2012 Author Posted August 21, 2012 guys read details about my break up, the ex is on a dating site only 2 weeks after break up, how do i deal with this???? frustrated, angry, upset right now!!!
flitzanu Posted August 22, 2012 Posted August 22, 2012 guys read details about my break up, the ex is on a dating site only 2 weeks after break up, how do i deal with this???? frustrated, angry, upset right now!!! there's nothing to "do" to deal with it, you just have to. the biggest way to "deal with it" is to STOP TRACKING HER EVERY MOVE. you wouldn't be freaking out about her being on a dating site if you hadn't been looking for that info.
Author soulforge2010 Posted September 6, 2012 Author Posted September 6, 2012 hi guys, bit of an update on my situation... as you know was seeing someone who ended the relationship twice already (read both my threads) anyhow she used the whole "i am pregnant" thing on me, when i refused to contact her... she sent 4 emails over the space of 2 weeks... in one of them she sounded, quite desprate & wanted me to call her. i did break no contact once, to confirm wether she is pregnant or not, all i got was abuse off her, manipulation & bitterness... she called me every name under the sun, but i did not retaliate in any kind of negative way. i just kept to the point, about wanting proof, showed no emotion, and did not lower myself to her standard of sending abusive text messages. anyhow it does not seem like she is pregnant, as not seen any definite proof... so i am back in strict no contact... and trying to leave all this behind me, it's not easy, but hopefully will get there soon
geegirl Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 Now we can agree with Katzee that your ex is mentally unstable. Faking a pregnancy is bat**** crazy attention seeking ways. Back to NC. Block her email. Block her number. You dodged a freaking bomb. 1
KatZee Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 Now we can agree with Katzee that your ex is mentally unstable. Faking a pregnancy is bat**** crazy attention seeking ways. Back to NC. Block her email. Block her number. You dodged a freaking bomb. Good lord. I HOPE what has just happened is what makes you stay away from this crazy person.
Author soulforge2010 Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 Good lord. I HOPE what has just happened is what makes you stay away from this crazy person. there is some chance, that she may actually be pregnant & not lying. i have my doubts tho.... either way, i have decided the presence of this woman in my life, has always bought me pain & misery...i need to stay away from her....for good and that is what i intend to do... no contact!
Romantic_Lefty Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 I agree with KatZee. i'm in a similar situation, but she clearly does not truly want to be with you. You do need to burn that bridge.
Author soulforge2010 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 hello guys, just an update. i have been in complete no contact for a while now... it's getting easier by the day... i am begining to realise that she was not for me... with her track record of dumping me twice already , i was just foolish to get back with her & she proved to me once again, that when things get a little tough, she is out of the door. who in the right mind would settle for someone this un reliable? i am glad i stood up for myself & told her to her face, that i do not want her in my life, i am glad i ignored all her attempts to rope me back in... i am glad i ignored her emails, asking me to ring her... also the fact that she sent me so many abusive text messages, calling me nasty names, making absurd accusations.... that hurt me for a while, but now... i just see it as bitterness on her part, because this time round "i was the one who rejected her" i bruised her ego & she turned all nasty on me.... well thats just tough luck for her! i don't hold any bitterness, just glad to be away from her clutches. when i look back, i realise that i was "infatuated" with this woman... she was good looking, attractive, and had sex appeal... but deep down below, she is a selfish character, who was only concerned about her own feelings & never about how i feel, or how much i was hurting, when she dumped me. i did not stand back & ask myself if she would make a good long term partner for me.... i was blinded by her beauty & that was so stupid & shallow of me... but i have learnt from this experience & will not be repeating the same mistake again. i am doing pretty good at the moment, i even saw her profile on a dating the site the other day, and did not bother me too much... its funny tho, when she was sending me nasty text messages, she was rubbing it in my face, that she was seeing someone now.... yet she is on a dating site lol anyhow i will continue with no contact, till the time comes, when i don't even think of her much 1
KatZee Posted September 10, 2012 Posted September 10, 2012 hello guys, just an update. i have been in complete no contact for a while now... it's getting easier by the day... i am begining to realise that she was not for me... with her track record of dumping me twice already , i was just foolish to get back with her & she proved to me once again, that when things get a little tough, she is out of the door. who in the right mind would settle for someone this un reliable? i am glad i stood up for myself & told her to her face, that i do not want her in my life, i am glad i ignored all her attempts to rope me back in... i am glad i ignored her emails, asking me to ring her... also the fact that she sent me so many abusive text messages, calling me nasty names, making absurd accusations.... that hurt me for a while, but now... i just see it as bitterness on her part, because this time round "i was the one who rejected her" i bruised her ego & she turned all nasty on me.... well thats just tough luck for her! i don't hold any bitterness, just glad to be away from her clutches. when i look back, i realise that i was "infatuated" with this woman... she was good looking, attractive, and had sex appeal... but deep down below, she is a selfish character, who was only concerned about her own feelings & never about how i feel, or how much i was hurting, when she dumped me. i did not stand back & ask myself if she would make a good long term partner for me.... i was blinded by her beauty & that was so stupid & shallow of me... but i have learnt from this experience & will not be repeating the same mistake again. i am doing pretty good at the moment, i even saw her profile on a dating the site the other day, and did not bother me too much... its funny tho, when she was sending me nasty text messages, she was rubbing it in my face, that she was seeing someone now.... yet she is on a dating site lol anyhow i will continue with no contact, till the time comes, when i don't even think of her much Yay! I love successful stories such as this. Glad you were able to see you're worth so much more than this! And as for her OLD profile... good lord... I feel sorry for the next guy.
Author soulforge2010 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 Yay! I love successful stories such as this. Glad you were able to see you're worth so much more than this! And as for her OLD profile... good lord... I feel sorry for the next guy. thank you for all the advice you gave me katzee... you made me realise, that i was wasting my time with her & i deserve a relationship, in which i feel secure & not tossed away when things get a little tough.
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