jasperlynx Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 after a few years my wife has told me that she has an emotional relationship with her boss. She tells him everything that goes on in her life and that he is comforting, understanding, nonjudgemental and that they have much in common. She says it platonic of course "Just Friends". We have been together 20 yrs and have adolesent children. I feel betrayed, hurt, and very angry. He has recently left his wife and I am sure he is breaking that barrier once and for all. We are not in the best state now and havent been but I have been giving it my all for a while....she is distant.
sad puppy Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Get the book "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass. You both need to read it. Now. Nip it in the bud. There's a third person in your marriage now. She's broken boundaries. It can only get worse for your marriage if she doesn't pull back the reins, immediately.
InJest Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 A book is not going to help your marriage, not to mention I can guarantee she won't read it. Serve her with a separation agreement, and see how she reacts. She needs to see, early on, that you are going to leave her over this. It's probably already a done deal though.
whichwayisup Posted August 11, 2012 Posted August 11, 2012 The friendship is a selfish one and it's damaging to your marriage. She's detached and focussing more on HIM than you. She's attached to him and that will only bring more issues (sexually and intimacy/emotionally) as time goes on. This friendship is unhealthy and a cancer to your marriage. Now, IF they remain friends, he should become YOUR friend too. If he plans on being in her life, then invite him to dinner. Watch and see how they 'are' when in a room together. Anyway, the above is just an idea so you can see their dynamic upclose. Not really suggesting you do that. Infact, I'd tell her it's HIM or YOU. That they are TOO close and now that he's not with his wife anymore, he's vunerable and in a place that he could use your wife for too much support and of course, she'll fall for it and him even deeper.
seibert253 Posted August 12, 2012 Posted August 12, 2012 Your W is involved in an EA, or maybe even more but you just don't know about it, with her boss. Ray Charles can see this. The question is, what are you going to do about it? You have two option: 1. Believe her lies and allow her to continue to mock you and your M, or 2. Stand up for yourself, put your foot down and tell her enough is enough. Knock it off or I will D you. Plain and simple. BTW, you need to do a little investigating/snooping of your W's emails, texts, and phone calls. I imagine you'll find much evidence as to the true nature of their relationship.
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