Jason270 Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Hey every one was just wanting too seek a bit of advice about my recent break up with my girlfriend of 3 and a half years. I met her while she was travelling in Aus. When her visa expired i went and lived with herin the UK for around a year and she also flew back out and lived with me for around 6 months. Anyway due to work commitments I had to be apart from her for 9 months. But we had planned for like 2 years that I would go and live with her in the uk. We talked about settling down, kids the whole lot. I was deeply in love with her and her whole family loved and approved of me. We went through so much together. *I couldn't wait to go.* She wanted to have a holiday before I came to the uk to see if things were still the same between us before I came to the uk. I could sense that so Something may have been up around this time but chose to ignore it. But we went on the holiday. Once there she acted really weird she would barely kiss me and wouldn't sleep with me. This went on for like 5 days. Anyway stupid me went into her phone which I regret doing so, which I have never done before as I trusted her so much. *And seen msgs she wrote to her friends saying that she didn't feel the same way anymore and that there was no spark and she wasn't sexually atracted to me. And she was waiting for the right time to tell me it was over. Which I found off as I had really worked on my body and looked a lot better do everyone said. As I wanted to look good for her. When I seen this I was so upset and a bit angry that she didn't tell me how she was feeling. So I decided to actually break up with her. I think my pride got in the way a lot as I didn't want to be the one who got dumped. Totally crap I know. So I made up some reason like I didn't want to leave my family and I had been thinking about it for a while and talked to my mum and dad, and I broke it off with her. This was not the case cause I still loved her so so much and I guess I made the decision for her in the end. From there on we decided to go home early from our holiday. It was a horrible time as we broke up and still had to stay with each other for like 24hrs. She cried for like the whole time. I asked her did she really want this or do u want to work it out and she said know. I prob should of tried a lot harder. But i didnt know how to react. If I had my time again I would of never broke it off and tried my best to work it out. But prob wouldn't of made any difference. Anyway I was going to leave early but end up coming back and stayed with her until both our flights were due to fly out. I couldn't leave her alone in a forien country. So we both went to the airport and left each other and went back to our own countries.* She cried so much and was so sad. It was the worst thing ever. I had to fight back the tears so much. From here she sent me a txt saying that I was the best thing that ever happened to her and she loved me so much. I had never been through a break up so i didn't know how to react. I didn't tell her how I really felt I just said we had to move on and to take care. I wanted so much just to tell her I missed her and that I loved her to death. I tried to play it cool and pretend like it was all ok and that but it cut me so deep. I deleted her and her friends off facebook just cause I couldn't handle the reminders of her. I MSG her to tell her that. She said if that's what u have to do but it makes her sad. We talked a bit and i even said could we give it another go. She said probably not but give her some time. About a week later after no contact she msg be saying she misses talking to me. Once again I didn't know how to really act and played it cool rather than just telling her how u really felt. I always look back on the msgs and the situation and wish I did things different. She said sorry for how she was on holiday and I said that she gave me know choice but to break it off as no man wants to be treated like that. I also said that It could be just a stepping stone in our relationship. I also mentioned to her the time and place when I said I loved her. And asked her how good it felt. She didn't reply to that one. So I left it a 2 days. Since then we talked on the phone and I mention that we jumped the gun a bit on holiday. I asked could we give it another go and she said she was confussed and didn't think we could. I told her straight up I loved her and want to try again. She said give it a few weeks and see how she feels. But she didn't seem to keen at all. Maybe she was to scared just tell me us definitely over. She knows I looked at her phone as one of the txts was from some guy. I questioned her about it twice she said nothing was going on. I do believe her as I think there is someone else now but am not exactly sure. As I stalked her face book on a mates Facebook and seen her chatting to some guy and even a pic of her jumping on his back. He is really ugly though and don't know how she could like him. I don't know what to think as she isn't the type of girl to rub it it my face. But who knows.* Anyway sorry if this is Boaring. But I just want to know where the hell do I go from here. We haven't spoke in like 2 weeks. I want her back so so bad. It's all I think about. She means the absolute world to me. And I know she still loves me but ATM there is prob people influencing her, she is going out all the time and getting drunk and This new guy who is a dj is prob in her ear as well. Do I call her and ask her strait is there any chance or do I call her and just be like hey wats up and just have a friendly chat. Or do I leave it with no contact and see if she will ever contact me first. Do I send her a letter in the mail explaining everything. Do fly to the uk and turn up at her place and see what happens. Prob won't do that haha. *I really don't know what to do its driving me crazy. I want her back do much. I don't want to seem desperate or needy. Thanks any help would be appreciated.
jackiki Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 maybe she is worth it! you know her better. Since you were playing mind games as well, I think her confusion is justified. All people go through ups and downs in a relationship, feelings subside and regenerate. By breaking up with her, You just gave her the chance to play the victim, and she is going to use this against you. Anyways what done is done...lesson learned For now, do not do anything! i would suggest to give yourself some time so things would be clearer to you! If she contacts you again, then you can discuss your options from there
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