phil00 Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Hello all. It's been 2 years since my break up. Messy break up. I've posted about it on here as well as my last corespondence with the ex. All very negative. She's not a good person, isn't very honest, and definitely not for me. So, what's the problem you ask? She is so damn pretty. I mean, pretty. But even that I can get over. What I'm having a hard time with is that here I am, having the hardest time even getting a date, and when i do, there's no spark whatsoever, and I know that my ex is out, having fun, playing with boys. Dating, dumping, dating, etc etc. It's like, she doesn't even get sad because she can get a guy whenever she wants. She pursues. I mean, she pursued me. And no guy would say no to her. She's out having the time of her life, and here I am left wondering, trying to convince myself that I'm better off. I dunno guys. What should I do? Is there another spin on this that I can take to make it ok?
Bobibble Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Don't make this a competition. She may be out dating but who cares about her anymore? Put yourself first and what is best for you. Having no spark with girls you're dating is no biggie, eventually you'll have "a spark" with a girl It's been two years and I'm sure you are over her, just don't compete with her or be jealous of her because if she is a dishonest person like you say, more than likely she will have a difficult time with any other relationship until she fixes herself.
Author phil00 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 Thank you for that. Yeah you're right. Its not a competition. I did have some comtact with her as recent as a week ago. Feel free to read some of my posts. There's not a lot of them. The last one was a doozy. I made the ultimate mistake and let my curiousity get the better of me and peeked at her Facebook page. I can only see her profile picture, but she changed it. She looks so happy, and here i am, not. Each time I've tried to reach out, and when i say reach out, it's just more of a "hey", not a "hey, can we meet up", she just lays into me on how I'm not respecting her wishes of never wanting to talk to me again.
Bobibble Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 If she never wants to speak to you again, don't bother even trying to contact her to be her friend. It's not worth it. I had an ex (complete ***hole who just wanted to have sex) who left me after two months with a text that said "i'm sorry but it would be better if we stopped talking" and wouldn't return my calls or texts. 3 years later I recently saw his lying *** at the movies and didn't even say hi and could care less. When someone is rude and dishonest with you, you need to cut them off completely for your own benefit. Sure it will take time, but in the end it shouldn't even affect you. No problem feel free to read my thread and offer any advice you can, I need it! http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/340200-2-weeks-nc-one-slip-up-later
Author phil00 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 I don't plan on contacting her after this last go around, but I have been known to make some unwise decisions.
YorickBrown Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Hello all. It's been 2 years since my break up. Messy break up. I've posted about it on here as well as my last corespondence with the ex. All very negative. She's not a good person, isn't very honest, and definitely not for me. So, what's the problem you ask? She is so damn pretty. I mean, pretty. But even that I can get over. What I'm having a hard time with is that here I am, having the hardest time even getting a date, and when i do, there's no spark whatsoever, and I know that my ex is out, having fun, playing with boys. Dating, dumping, dating, etc etc. It's like, she doesn't even get sad because she can get a guy whenever she wants. She pursues. I mean, she pursued me. And no guy would say no to her. She's out having the time of her life, and here I am left wondering, trying to convince myself that I'm better off. I dunno guys. What should I do? Is there another spin on this that I can take to make it ok? Yeah, I know what you mean....its the real pretty ones that screws you up really bad. Especially since you kinda know/expect everyone would want to screw around with her too. The break up makes this all the more apparent and real. Now I hate telling you this, but you got "played" bud, ( coz I did too). She pursued you right? Tag you're it! You just got "stuck" in the game longer than I did....and you probably didn't even think of it that way from the very start right? (I did, but I eventually forgot for what it really was -- a game). You probably heard the expression "dont hate the playah, hate the game"?? Problem is, the game will always be there. As they say, "if you can't beat them, join them". Look, I understand, we always like to think we could change the player somehow or stop them from playing it anymore...or take them off the playing field. We can try. It's not impossible but it's highly improbable that one can just pull it off. It's like winning a medal in the Olympics. You'll need a lot of motivation, resources, support, training, luck etc. Which brings me to your question. You failed to secure the "trophy" (wife). What do you do now? First, you have to accept that you've lost already and you will have to try again. But don't wait for another 4 years!!! Get back into "practice" asap! Analyze your previous mistakes. Change your attitude and strategy. That's my spin on this.
Author phil00 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 thank you for that. I guess I just want to know what to do different than what I've been doing the past 2 years, to be ok with it.
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