dannykeyz831 Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 I actually feel less miserable being stuck at home and doing nothing. I hate driving to places because seems like every place I go reminds me of her. Most music has been pretty much nonexistent in my life since the breakup. Also, I produce music but I now stopped that because a lot of the songs I made were dedicated to her. I broke down crying the other day on this one song that I had made for her which she never got the chance to listen Driving around sucks now because I was so used to having her on the passenger side and now she's no longer there. I see other couples driving around and having fun...I miss that! Everywhere I go, I see people holding hands and smiling at each other almost like if they were doing it on purpose just to laugh at my face. Life sucks big time right now. I was doing good for the first 2 weeks but I guess days like today are to be expected.
Occu3.14'd Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 I feel for you bud. Today was especially bad for me, and it's been about a month. I know what you're saying about reminders everywhere though. If I see that damn Sandals resort commercial on TV where everyone is blissfully in love, I think I'll puke. And I don't even want to go to Sandals. The general consensus around here is that things will get better. I wish I could tell you that was the case from personal experience, but I'm in the same boat as you right now where everything in life just plain sucks.
Occu3.14'd Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Also, maybe you should try producing a song that isn't for her? I know that I have picked up my guitar, or played my drum kit only a handful of times since the BU, but each time made me feel a tiny bit better - if only for a little while. It's tough though, because she was extremely talented musically (voice of an angel), and we spent a lot of time at karaoke, or just singing at my house. They seem like trivial things, but I look back at those times with great fondness... Anyway, getting off track... What DAW do you use? I record a lot in Logic Studio. Maybe we can collaborate to pass the time. The weekend is only a day away, and those seem especially ****ty as of late. 1
Author dannykeyz831 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 I feel for you bud. Today was especially bad for me, and it's been about a month. I know what you're saying about reminders everywhere though. If I see that damn Sandals resort commercial on TV where everyone is blissfully in love, I think I'll puke. And I don't even want to go to Sandals. The general consensus around here is that things will get better. I wish I could tell you that was the case from personal experience, but I'm in the same boat as you right now where everything in life just plain sucks. I actually had a group interview for wells fargo bank earlier and the whole time there was me staring into space. This is actually our 3rd breakup much and she always ends up calling me back after a month or two of nc but In a weird way I'm hoping she don't call me back because I just want this endless cycle to end so I can really move on with my life. A lot of good times with her but a lot of misery, pain, and torture as well. Can't live with that anymore.
muzik_lvr Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 In a weird way I'm hoping she don't call me back because I just want this endless cycle to end so I can really move on with my life. A lot of good times with her but a lot of misery, pain, and torture as well. Can't live with that anymore. Bro, even if she does call you back after months of NC you don't have to take her back. Make a decision now and draw a line in the sand and decide in your mind that it is over and that you are moving on with your life, regardless of if she calls you in a month or not. 1
Author dannykeyz831 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 Also, maybe you should try producing a song that isn't for her? I know that I have picked up my guitar, or played my drum kit only a handful of times since the BU, but each time made me feel a tiny bit better - if only for a little while. It's tough though, because she was extremely talented musically (voice of an angel), and we spent a lot of time at karaoke, or just singing at my house. They seem like trivial things, but I look back at those times with great fondness... Anyway, getting off track... What DAW do you use? I record a lot in Logic Studio. Maybe we can collaborate to pass the time. The weekend is only a day away, and those seem especially ****ty as of late. I might just do that thanks! My ex gf didn't have that angelic voice (kinda glad..It would have made me feel worse) She would only sit there, smile and listen while a sang to her. I'm a horrible singer but for her it was the thought that counted. I mainly use Fruity Loops since I'm so used to it. Other people tell me to try other programs but I just stick to what I'm comfortable with. Ya that collabo thing sound like a good idea. Maybe you can add some bass to some of my beats or whatever.
Author dannykeyz831 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 Bro, even if she does call you back after months of NC you don't have to take her back. Make a decision now and draw a line in the sand and decide in your mind that it is over and that you are moving on with your life, regardless of if she calls you in a month or not. Very good point! That's been my problem over the years with her in that I was too weak to put my foot down. One of the reasons she broke up with me. I became too obsessed with her and would never say No to her as I was afraid she would leave me. I was such a pushover. The crazy thing is that I was never like that before I met her. Love makes you do some really stupid **** some times..it changed who I was.
goodbyesunshine Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 I know how you feel I couldn't go out for weeks without everything reminding me of my ex. Even my own house reminded me of him. And even now I actively look out for guys that are so much like him - character, looks, everything. It sucks. But I always take consolation in the fact that I will not let myself down anymore, and that I should not settle for anything less than happiness. Since you also know that life with her had a lot of misery, just keep thinking of those times when she made you feel hurt and used and pushed you over. Sounds like you really did loved her and she didn't appreciate it. I hope you find the strength to produce music again, and maybe doing something you love will help you get going! Slowly the things that you associate with her like driving will lose that significance. For me cars used to always remind me of my ex - he loved cars, plus he bought a car to fetch us around. Even though it took awhile, now most cars are mostly just... cars. Not cars he'd love, or cars he talked about. Just give it some time. Know that this is natural and will pass. Not sure if this helped All the best and stay strong! 1
Author dannykeyz831 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 I know how you feel I couldn't go out for weeks without everything reminding me of my ex. Even my own house reminded me of him. And even now I actively look out for guys that are so much like him - character, looks, everything. It sucks. But I always take consolation in the fact that I will not let myself down anymore, and that I should not settle for anything less than happiness. Since you also know that life with her had a lot of misery, just keep thinking of those times when she made you feel hurt and used and pushed you over. Sounds like you really did loved her and she didn't appreciate it. I hope you find the strength to produce music again, and maybe doing something you love will help you get going! Slowly the things that you associate with her like driving will lose that significance. For me cars used to always remind me of my ex - he loved cars, plus he bought a car to fetch us around. Even though it took awhile, now most cars are mostly just... cars. Not cars he'd love, or cars he talked about. Just give it some time. Know that this is natural and will pass. Not sure if this helped All the best and stay strong! Thank you for the inspirational words Speaking of your house reminding you of your ex, I actually had to change the setup of my bedroom just so that it wouldn't remind me of her too much. Sad stuff isn't it. I use to make very beautiful melodic pieces. It defined how I felt about her. I agree in that everything that I associated her with lost their meaning. I'm trying though and hopefully one day, everything that I ever did with her, will not be such a big deal anymore. I wish there were a place where all of us can go and just talk and comfort each other. LS is a great place but hearing the advice given to us is 100 times better in person. But I do feel better knowing that I'm not alone in this. Thanks! 1
weallfalldown Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Sorry to hear your still going through it.... Me too....And your right, if there was a place we could all go and talk to each other....things would be cool....but then again, if we keep dwelling, does it make things worse?... All i know is, i'm trying hard to get my act together, even after 3 months...
goodbyesunshine Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Be 100% sure that one day everything you associated with her will lose that significance. I used to associate so many things to each relationship I had, thinking they would always be in my memory, until one day I dug out an archive of a blog entry I wrote 3 years ago and realise how much of that relationship I had forgotten, and how much I have improved myself and how each relationship became better than the last. And I wish there really could be such a place to hang out! Like a Broken-up Bar or something haha. Every time I go out and talk about my problems to my friends I know they don't enjoy it too much, and I just feel bad. But in a way it's good that I can't keep rambling on about him, I gotta pretend everything is okay and all that effort makes me forget about my sadness, even if it's just a little bit. Right now, I am like you, still fresh with wounds, so there is only so much hope and happiness I can add in, being down in the dumps too. But I'm sure we will make it through and get better Maybe something good will come out of the music you produce now, too, who knows! Give it a try!
Recommended Posts