He's called twice--what to do?!

[caddygirl]

Hi all! I was in a LDR from January until the beginning of June. He broke it off with me saying that it was too emotionally stressful and that he didn't want to do it anymore. I was devestated of course. About two weeks after that, he IM'd me, telling me that it was the situation and not me that he didn't like, and that he would like to be able to call me. I let him know that I did not hate him and he could call me, but he didn't. 4 or 5 days after that, I got a message from him--it was a friendly, "sorry I didn't call after the IM conversation, plumbing issues (some lame excuse), but give me a call back sometime". I didn't call back. He tried to contact me a day or two after that over IM, but I didn't answer. That was two weeks ago. He called again yesterday, and said pretty much "you never called me back, don't know why you're mad at me", and some other random irrelevant stuff.

 

So my question is, do you think I should call back? Or email? The thing is, I still miss him terribly. I don't want to call him and make uncomfortable small talk and pretend like I'm not still really hurt over how things ended, or that they ended at all. I don't understand his motivation for calling either. It could be that he just can't stand the thought of someone out there disliking him and he wants to settle it, and I don't feel like I want to stroke his ego in that way. I want him to wonder about things.

 

The real problem is that I still want to be with him.

 

Advice, please!

caddygirl

[HokeyReligions]

LDRs are difficult and if your whole relationship has been this way, why not just tell him that you think its best for both of you to end it. It was nice while it lasted, wish him well, and find someone you can talk to in person. A hug is a wonderful thing!

 

You only knew him for what, six months? That's not very long at all. You don't know what he is really like (nor he you) on a date or in a real-life situation. You deserve to have someone who is close by and you can hold hands with and sit in silence with, just feeling their presence.

[lost_in_chgo]

plumbing issues? was that like digestive plumbing or house plumbing. If he was sick....

 

 

 

Call him.

Talk to him.

 

The first thing you should do is get comfortable talking to each other.

Then you should discuss how you are going to go about solving this LDR problem.

Certainly the two of you could come up with a way to make things work.

 

Meeting halfway, one of you moving, both of you moving, or finding a way to make the distance more bearable if moving isn't an option. Something.

 

If that isn't worth doing then the relationship isn't very strong.

 

Certainly it's worth exploring before arbitrarily flushing away the relationship.

[two to tangle]

As much love as I have fellt throughout my heart and soul, I just don't have it in me anymore. I feel terrible ans sad. He has broken my heart, and before it kills me I need to move on. He is entitled to be happy too.

 

The way for me to resolve my broken heart and his attitude and disregard for so many years of physical abuse and gawd countless tears I need to get on with my life.

 

nine years is too long. It just didn't work and hard as this is now and for ever, I must go to regain the years lost and my self that I sacrificed and lost. I will miss him yes but if his pride or 'space' or indecision' is more worthy than to hold a friend just to console and he believes that I'm going to overblown w/thoughts of "hey! he really loves ME"!!! He needs to get off his high horse and ride into the sunset with 'just friends' and enjoy himself w/me.

 

I am no longer interested but wish him the best and who knows maybe a month like he NEEDS or whatever suits his ties, I will be gone spiritually and never return unless I bumped into him but that unlikely as I will be out of state.

 

All I ever wanted was to be acknowledged not full blown HEY its' LOVE. I was willing to do whatever it took. Now Iam tired of this and just cant do it anymore.