pinkerbell Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 Hey everyone, I've got this friend, and I don't know how to handle this with as much tact as possible, and without hurting her feelings. I don't want to hurt her, not at all, but it's chewing me up inside. Normally, I'm a blunt, tell-it-like-it-is kind of gal, and I'm proud of that fact, but right now, I feel like I might be crushing someone's dreams. I don't want to do that. So here it is. She has a crush on this guy (who happens to be famous) and she's met him twice on tour. I actually have a crush/obsession on the same guy, but that's by the by. It's how we "met." Anyway, it all started on what I thought was a joke, like playfully daydreaming on the "if" it ever happened, but where we both knew the reality. Ya know? It's like chasing rainbows chasing after a famous person. What began as a joke has taken a turn, and I'm afraid I'm cheerleading it because I don't know how to say in the kindest way possible what I think. It was amusing at first to imagine the ways it could happen, but of course, I treat it like anything else. A thought to pass the hours, but it seems she's taken it seriously. The guy is incredibly religious, and she isn't particularly, but will become so if God sets her up with him. It's to the point where I think it would seriously depress her and upset her if it didn't come to pass, like she's pinned her hopes on him. I don't want her to end up hurt, and while this seems like a minor phase, I'm scared it isn't. I'm scared that this obsession is going to get her into bother, or get her hurt. I'm not saying I'm not obsessed with him either, but I know it's not going to happen. Not in a million years. What do I say to her to stop her getting disappointed? Or should I sit back and let it fizzle out on its own?
NoMagicBullet Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Unless she starts engaging in stalker-type behaviour that might bring her to the attention of police, or is turning away dates with other guys because she's holding out for this unavailable one, I think it's probably best to let it fizzle out on its own. Doesn't really matter so much that the guy is famous -- sooner or later we all become infatuated with people who nothing will ever happen with, and we all kind of have to work through it ourselves, for the most part. I think you can stop any cheerleading; smile, listen to her, but you don't have to support her fantasies.
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