BobLobLa Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 I didn’t know which place to post this so I put it here and in Coping Just a note I am in high school, if that makes any difference. So I went through this whole thing with this girl, and its over, but I just can’t seem to shake it and I thought this place might be able to help. Here’s the briefest I could make it: On Halloween last year this girl texted me. We are juniors in high school, and we’ve known each other since freshman year but not ever really close. After Halloween we did a lot of texting and hanging out and talking and stuff until about March. Around this time our mutual friends began to tell me she was interested and that whole stupid high school thing, so I moved forward with the relationship, and she told me she just wanted to be friends. But that only lasted about a day, as I kept myself from her because I didn’t want that. She told me she wanted to become more than friends, since she couldn’t live without me for even a day. So then March to June we had this great relationship. We were both new to the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing so it wasn’t “advanced”, but the thing we were always good at was talking and being there for each other. Towards the end of school in June she started to be kind of distant, and I asked her and she said she was just busy with finals and such. Then school ended and a week into summer I went over to her house for what I thought would be a movie night, and she told me she just wanted to be friends, and that she “didn’t see it anymore”. I got really pissed, sent some mean text messages, and ignored her for a week. I had my friends and lacrosse to distract me, but it was obviously still a fresh wound, but I was more pissed than anything. Then I went on this big two week sports recruiting trip, and it was recommended to me by several friends that I apologize and clear the air, which I did. But it felt really stupid and hollow, like I gave up, as I had been wishfully thinking she would pour her heart out and want me back. Then over the trip we did some texting and talking, but it felt weird and like a lie to me so I stopped and ignored her silently. I cam back from my trip and heard she had been hooked up with a guy who was the reason for her previous “just want to be friends episode”. I got real mad and started telling our mutual friends how mad I was, which they conveyed to her. She texted me mad saying we should be adults and that we need to move on; she did that whole “I still really wanna be friends and talk to you” crap. I told her that I needed space to forget her and move on, and that was that. That was a few weeks ago, and after that I had more sports trips, friends etc. I began to kinda forget about her, until just recently. Something weird happened, like everyone kinda just left. Mainly because most of my friends play football and their hell week started, and I’m done with my sport for a while (off season), so I feel super alone. And all I really have is my thoughts, and I find myself wondering back to her a lot. I don’t contact her, as I know I need to keep my distance, but right now its just really hard. I feel this loneliness and unfullfillment because I don’t have some one to talk to all the time like she did for me. If you’ve ever seen “(500) Days of Summer”, our relationship was a lot like that, almost spot on. So I guess I’m just looking for advice on how to deal with this, or reassurance. I know she’ll probably never come back, and I know and want to move on, but I just can’t, and its frustrating. Feel free to ask any questions about the relationship and/or the breakup. I really just wanna let stuff out I guess.
MercuryMorrison1 Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 Sounds like a pretty typical highschool relationship to me. It sounds like neither of you are a maturity level for that level of relationship. I mean no offense by that please understand, we have all been there at one time or another. Most highschool relationships are doomed to fail anyway. Teens/Twentys is when alot people do their partying and learn about life and what really matters and all that jazz. Some people get hooked up in highschool or their early twentys and never look back. But those people are few and far between. I'm only 24 myself and I've been in the exact same situation you're in right now. So trust me when I say it'll get better. Don't stress over it...I know its hard, but it'll get easier as time passes. Eventually there will come a day where she won't even cross your mind anymore. Just take what you learned from this relationship and apply it to make your next relationship better.
Author BobLobLa Posted August 9, 2012 Author Posted August 9, 2012 Good advice. Jut curious, what makes you think both of us are immature? I know for a fact she is, but I always thought I wasn't.
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