hallie77 Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 Hi everyone, I have been together with my boyfriend for about 6 months altogether, but we have been having a long-distance relationship for the last 2 months. We will be back in the same city in September. Our relationship has been great so far, and although I had really strong feelings for him when we could still see each other everyday, I feel a bit more distanced now. We never said 'I love you' to each other, I didn't think our relationship had reached that point yet. But yesterday, he called me and seemingly out of nowhere told me that he had fallen head over heels in love with me! I was completely caught off guard and did not know what to say. I thought we should have had that conversation in person, and it felt weird to hear it over the phone. He says he has never been in love with anyone else before, so this was a huge deal! The problem is though, that I don't think I really feel the same way, at least not yet. Not having seen him 2 months has made me distance myself a bit, and although I think my feelings will probably get much stronger again in September, I guess you can never know for sure. It would kill him to hear that I don't feel the same way as him though, especially as he has never told that to anyone else before, and doesn't easily talk about his feelings in the first place. After he said it I mumbled something like 'wow, I am so happy you feel that way', and 'me too', or something evasive like that. It certainly wasn't a convincing 'I am in love with you too'. What do you think I should tell him? I don't know what the right thing to say would be in this situation. And it's making me really uncomfortable because all of the sudden I feel a lot of pressure in this relationship that I never did before. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't know how to get out of this one. Do any of you guys have any experience with this kind of thing? Any advice would really be appreciated! The last thing I want to do is unnecessarily hurt him or jeapordize our relationship. Thanks so much for listening (to my loooong explanation, hehe)... Hallie
HokeyReligions Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 Being honest with him won't hurt him. He may be disappointed, but its not like you are breaking up with him. People fall in love at different times. Tell him that you are flattered, and that you don't know yet how you feel, but you are still committed to him and that you are looking forward to talking with him when you get together in September. You might still fall for him so tell him not to give up on you. You can talk about the pressures and such when you see him. Be honest with him.
Matilda Posted July 14, 2004 Posted July 14, 2004 I agree with Hokey, honesty is the best policy. You can't pretend to be in love with someone.
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