How could i be so dumb?

[jenna.c.199]

Hi everyone,

 

I am sorta lost. I have finally left my husband and I can't cry.

Short review of my marriage and yes i will be focusing on the negative cause there was alot more negative than positive. I am going back at my memories and asking myself why am i so dumb? Men have always admired me, I have 2 professional degrees and still in my 20s.

 

Met him when I was early 20s, virgin, waiting for the right man. Men always said I was very beautiful and wanted to date me but i wanted something long term. Met this guy who was older and I was wooed by him and omg thats when all the lies started. He lied to me about his family, job, finances and everything and as dumb as i was 3 months later I was married.

 

for the next 5 years he claimed to be broke but was really advancing his career. Literally forced me to move to the most inhabitable city in canada so he could work while i cried out of cold and lonliness at home. Finally i moved back here for school and after all his lies i put a program in his phone that i could monitor his texts and found how he had bought a present for his secretary and was planning to give it to her.

 

A few dozen lies later he moved back here with me and then he claimed he was getting fired and he had to go work on rotation in europe. A few gazillion lies later, he took me and then i found out he had actually moved there and told me i wont leave my career for you or anyone else and paid for my home and school to live in this city. when he was living with me he kept bragging about his 20 year old secretary so i added her to my friends facebook and checked on her.

 

Turns out she was from that country that he moved to and she was bragging on fb about how he got her a job and how successful she was. when he came back I asked him about her and he said oh i dont' know. When i confronted him he yelled and broke furniture and then begged that he had just handed her resume in for her. Then I found texts in his phone of how he was asking her about how she liked her laptop.

 

Omg incidents like this happened more and more. he wouldnt let me chose our car, our home, clothes i wore, controlled who i talked to...... He never wanted to have sex with me either. we had sex once every couple of weeks the way he wanted and he did me a favor.

 

Finally 2 weeks ago he moved into a home that was too small for me andI told him i wont live here so he put my stuff by the door and threatened to call the cops. Now he wants me back as always and is constantly begging me and coming up with plans. oh and in case you want to know he is bald and quiet ugly. I married him cause i felt sorry for him. Men used to say you must have a big **** cause this girl is too pretty for you. Little did they know.

 

 

Omg I'm hurting so bad and cant even cry. All i think about is how could i be sooo stupid. I'm educated and only girl. Grew up in a family full of love and respect and i let me be so abused.

 

Please tell me how can anyone be so dumb to tolerate all that? Am I being too harsh on him? Is it me?

[icDude]

Sounds like there was a lot of distance between you and no emotional connection. Dumb = young. Let him prove he has changed before you decide to even consider him back.