blue_jay_bird Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Well all my ex's friends where his to start with so when we where done i knew, they where his. I did have hope for one the the girls, she is the girlfriend of my ex's best guy friend. When it first happened. We got together, bashed my ex. I felt great talking to her. I told her we should hang out more, keep in touch. I left the ball in her court. It's been a month, she invited my ex to her cottage with her boyfriend. Kind of feel rejected. My boyfriend and her boyfriend were very close. And i guess me and her where not. Kind of hurt i mean, i just wish she would say hi or something. Lol. its like being dumped again. Accepting they don't want to be your friend. I tried to contact her again. lol Should i not ? Any story's about losing gaining friends through a BU?
KatZee Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Yeah, sorry to say but they're not your friends. I wish people were more mature than this... but the exact same thing happened with my ex. I became close with two of the girls. Closer than the rest because the others hated me off the bat b/c they held "loyalties" to my ex's girlfriend before me. So when I became close to those girls we would hang out, they told me "even if you weren't with XXX we'd still be friends, you're awesome, you're real and not like the other girls in this group who are all drama..." Yeah, once the girls found out that my ex was done with me "for good" I was "dumped," deleted off Facebook... no one even bothered to ask me how I was. If I was OK, if I needed anything... nothing. Saw that one of these girls hung out with my ex with her boyfriend... Really came to see that these people were never my friends. It's sad.
Samilia Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 Well all my ex's friends where his to start with so when we where done i knew, they where his. I did have hope for one the the girls, she is the girlfriend of my ex's best guy friend. When it first happened. We got together, bashed my ex. I felt great talking to her. I told her we should hang out more, keep in touch. I left the ball in her court. It's been a month, she invited my ex to her cottage with her boyfriend. Kind of feel rejected. My boyfriend and her boyfriend were very close. And i guess me and her where not. Kind of hurt i mean, i just wish she would say hi or something. Lol. its like being dumped again. Accepting they don't want to be your friend. I tried to contact her again. lol Should i not ? Any story's about losing gaining friends through a BU? You said it, they're his friends, don't be too sad. To answer you, you could contact her, "lets get together", but she might find it awkward since her current love is friend with your ex.. or she might think you're trying to reach him through her. Is it your intention? Be honest, then it's a no-no.. Anyway, you can still make new friends, with no history, keep that in mind.
KatZee Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 From experience, don't keep trying to reach out. It's going to get around the circle of friends that you're still trying to be involved. I saw this happen with my ex's ex-girlfriend. She kept trying to hang out with everyone, talk to people... and when I became the girlfriend I heard all sorts of crap about her. How she was hanging on, etc etc. You and your ex are over. They were his friends. Just walk away.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted August 9, 2012 Author Posted August 9, 2012 Is it your intention? Be honest, then it's a no-no.. Anyway, you can still make new friends, with no history, keep that in mind. I'm not sad about his friends, they where never my friends. It's just this one girl. I really like her and after my bf left me i regretted how i was not closer with her. And no, i don't want her to be my spy. i don't want to know anything about my ex, and that stuff. I just always liked her. Maybe its a bad idea.
KatZee Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 I'm not sad about his friends, they where never my friends. It's just this one girl. I really like her and after my bf left me i regretted how i was not closer with her. And no, i don't want her to be my spy. i don't want to know anything about my ex, and that stuff. I just always liked her. Maybe its a bad idea. Well, now's not the time to start regretting not being closer to her. There's nothing you can do about that now. You're going to put her in an awkward situation if her bf is dating your ex. They're all going to be hanging out on weekends, and you're not going to be invited, it'll just be an awkward situation all around. Especially if you're trying to get closer to her NOW, AFTER being dumped. It'll come off as if you have ulterior motives, even if you don't.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted August 9, 2012 Author Posted August 9, 2012 Well, now's not the time to start regretting not being closer to her. There's nothing you can do about that now. You're going to put her in an awkward situation if her bf is dating your ex. They're all going to be hanging out on weekends, and you're not going to be invited, it'll just be an awkward situation all around. Especially if you're trying to get closer to her NOW, AFTER being dumped. It'll come off as if you have ulterior motives, even if you don't. Well i just asked her to chill, now i can't take it back. What do i say to her now. I change my mind it's a bad idea cause your boyfriend is best friend with my ex. ( sounds kind of lame)
KatZee Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 Well i just asked her to chill, now i can't take it back. What do i say to her now. I change my mind it's a bad idea cause your boyfriend is best friend with my ex. ( sounds kind of lame) dont say anything. just fade out. she didnt even respond so leave it at that.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted August 9, 2012 Author Posted August 9, 2012 dont say anything. just fade out. she didnt even respond so leave it at that. I feel like i want to control something, he took are relationship. But he can't take this friend.
youdunsay Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 If we use the "cornering the guy" technique by adding his friends circle and make friends with them before he introduce you formally, does it work?
KatZee Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 I feel like i want to control something, he took are relationship. But he can't take this friend. This is where you will fail. You can't control anything. And what do you mean he can't take this friend? She was his friend to begin with. Not yours. She is not your friend. Her loyalty to him comes before any loyalty to you. And since you were not close to her, this can't be changed. Not now. Not after being dumped.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted August 9, 2012 Author Posted August 9, 2012 This is where you will fail. You can't control anything. And what do you mean he can't take this friend? She was his friend to begin with. Not yours. She is not your friend. Her loyalty to him comes before any loyalty to you. And since you were not close to her, this can't be changed. Not now. Not after being dumped. She's not his friend. She's the girlfriend of his best friend. She has no loyalty, the only one i see is for her boyfriend. I don't see why i can't be friends with her. I felt like after i was dumped my eyes where opened. I put him first all the time. I stopped working on friendships. And i'm tired of fading away from friends.
KatZee Posted August 9, 2012 Posted August 9, 2012 She's not his friend. She's the girlfriend of his best friend. She has no loyalty, the only one i see is for her boyfriend. I don't see why i can't be friends with her. I felt like after i was dumped my eyes where opened. I put him first all the time. I stopped working on friendships. And i'm tired of fading away from friends. Well, you already texted her and asked her to hang out. If she never responds... you'll have your answer. And she may not have been his friend first, but she's still in that circle by association. There are so many other people you can meet and be friends with. Focus on that for now.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted August 9, 2012 Author Posted August 9, 2012 **** your right... lol i hate/love you, KatZee.
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