smiley2222 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 (edited) Hello all, I posted in the breaking up forum 8 weeks ago and I figured I should move it over here since I am hoping for a second chance. Here is a tidbit. My BF of 7.5 years moved out of our house 8 weeks ago. 1st he said he would think about working on the relationship. During that time he would say we could do something then flake. 6 weeks after the move out he sent me an email saying sorry for being unresponsive that he wanted to think on his own and didn't want me muddling his brain. He was enjoying his new freedom Didn't see getting back with me and wants to sell the house. I also know that same week he had a date. Don't know how it went or if there was another date. 1 week goes by, our tenants left rent so I sent him an email saying rent was here and that I had packed his personal belongings because I didn't want them muddling my brain while I was trying to move on like he wanted me to. I also mentioned that I didn't want to see him, he could come during the weekend because I would not be around much and I wanted advance notice so we don't run into each other. On Saturday night he text asking if he can come by around 9pm. 9pm on a Saturday I thought.... So I replied, I was just getting home and had to get ready to leave again. He wrote back saying if I am not planning on going out then he can come some other time. (He moved 45min away so we wouldn't run into each other-it's not convenient for him to just come down here.) I responded no, it's ok I will hurry and get ready. I thought the 'if your not planning...' was a strange comment since I already said I needed to get ready to leave. Like he was fishing. So I left, I came home and noticed the security camera keyboard was moved so I watched the feed. He was here for 30 min before loading his car, then once car was loaded, he was in the house another 10 min. I also noticed my laptop may have been opened. There were flowers in my house from a friend and I also took down all the pics of us. He may have been just curious... Nothing more Monday I realized that I had not yet apologized to him for my part. I guess it was mostly my actions that led him to leave. I didn't ask for a second chance. I didn't expect a response. Last night he sent a quick response saying thank you for the kind things I said and he probably made mistakes too. He did but I am not going to respond back. My intention was for him to have good thoughts about me again. I know it's too soon to get back together because I have some things I need to work on and I know he needs to live on his own for awhile. It's so hard though, I just hope this means there is a glimmer of hope in the near future and not me just grasping for straws. I guess I should go NC till the end of the month. We can't go complete NC because we do own property together and he still gets mail here Edited August 8, 2012 by smiley2222
pathetic1999 Posted August 8, 2012 Posted August 8, 2012 I don't have much to say except I am sorry, it's really hard to understand how someone can go from someone special in your life to nothing. It's been 3 months total NC for me and he hasn't even tried to contact me once, from a guy who couldn't go an hour without contacting me. It messes with my brain most of the time to be honest, but one thing I can say when I read your story is you have no reason to contact him except all business and even then I would make it as rare as possible. Nothing at this point (after he said he was having fun being free) will make him come back to you except if he realizes what he messed up. I hope both yours and mine realize that
Author smiley2222 Posted August 8, 2012 Author Posted August 8, 2012 (edited) Thanks and I hope yours and mine realize it too I do have to say that I understand why he is having fun. He just got out of a 7.5 year relationship and we lived together for at least 6 yrs of it. He never lived by himself. He doesn't have to mow the lawn or do household chores. He is only 31 etc... I also can't see that at the time he said he was having fun (6 weeks after BU and 1 wk was vacation) is long enough to miss someone when you are the dumper. Hooo Hummmmm Edited August 8, 2012 by smiley2222
Author smiley2222 Posted August 10, 2012 Author Posted August 10, 2012 Argh!!! Why is this so hard. We had to talk yesterday because there is work still being done on the house. (We just got done building the house) Every time he mentions selling it I get emotional. No matter how strong I try to be I can't help but tear up and get sobby. (I did keep from getting mad and overly emotional) I just want him to come home and I don't want to sell our house. I was hoping he was finally starting to miss me, guess not Sorry I keep coming here, I don't have any friends that I can keep talking to about this.
Xestenz Posted August 10, 2012 Posted August 10, 2012 Sorry I keep coming here, I don't have any friends that I can keep talking to about this. Don't be sorry! This is exactly what this place is for, and thank goodness for that!
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